


Blame Black

by Dylan_Black



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer, Disney Princesses, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling, Kim Possible (Cartoon), Teen Titans (Comics)
Genre: A bunch of stuff that is really wrong, Crack Fic, Done for laughs, F/F, F/M, Ginny's a murdering psycho, Harems, House Elves behaving badly, How'd Phil get in here?, M/M, Multi, Other, Seriously out of character characters, Smurfs behaving badly, Teens behaving badly, but she's our murdering psycho
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-06-22
Updated: 2015-08-12
Packaged: 2018-04-05 13:04:59
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 9
Words: 84,882
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4180884
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Dylan_Black/pseuds/Dylan_Black
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There once was a Story called Harry's Harem, But the Author said to himself, "I can do better. I can rebuild it.  Sillier. More juvenile. Possibly more offensive to those with any sense of decency." That's about when Meirha washed her hands of it.  </p>
<p>Harry and company are about to have their worlds turned upside down by Sirius Black's will.  Sit back and grab the popcorn, because it's going to be a heck of a ride.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prelude and the Black Parade

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If you don’t know that we don’t own any of this, then you seriously need to climb out from under a rock. This is just the random musings of a demented mind. No money is being made off of this so please do not attempt litigation as I don’t have any money to begin with. Also there are scenes in this story of an adult nature, including sex,violence, random drug use, Bawdy humor, and generally teens behaving badly. If this offends you then you might not want to read. If you are under an age where reading this kind of material is generally frowned on, please stop reading as I will not be held responsible for corrupting your mind...that is what school and your father’s porn stash are for

Prelude

Scottish Highlands, A long, long time ago

Merida slouched in her chair listening to her parents in their favorite past time, bickering. It really was fascinating when one was able to see that they truly did love each other and there was no heat behind the words. It was more a game of verbal chess played between long time friends. Well, Merida knew they were more than friends, but she wasn’t quite sure what that entailed. She was quite glad her mother had decided to give her a bit more time to figure that out. Of course that was what was causing the latest session of bickering.

Her mother had gotten the four lords of the land to agree to let their children marry who they wished instead of abiding by a treaty that none of them had been alive to write and didn’t see a need for any longer. This pleased and frustrated her father. It pleased him because he was in no way ready for his only daughter to be married off (quite frankly, neither was Merida). It frustrated him because...well, it was best explained by Fergus himself.

“Such a great plan,” her father replied conversationally. “But I’m still trying to figure out what’s going to happen when these boys decided that they still want her as a wife. What are we going to do in the long run?”

“Fergus, dear, do you know what number suitor you were for me?” her mother responded with a coy smile.

Her father looked momentarily perplexed before responding. “I don’t know, second, third?”

“Seventh,” Elinor informed him. “One through four ran screaming from my father. Five and six my mother terrified. You were the only one brave enough to go through both of them. But that’s not the reason I married you and it’s not a reason Merida will marry any of her suitors. She will marry for the same reason I did. She will marry for love.”

“Love,” Fergus snorted. “Just how is she going to meet anyone here, in the middle of nowhere? I mean it’s not like a man’s just going to pop out of the woods.”

Before Elinor could form a retort the herald stood at the top of the stairs to the throne room and rapped his staff in announcement. “My Lord and Lady, a man has just popped out of the woods and requests an audience.”

All three nobles turned and looked at each other in disbelief before turning back to the herald. “By all means, show him in,” Fergus managed.

The herald exited, returning moments later with a man in a cloak with the hood raised. “Announcing Lord-“

“Um, excuse me,” the man said lowly, interrupting the herald. “My brother’s the lord. I’m the third child.”

“Right. Announcing Sir-“

“Um, I wasn’t knighted, either.”

The herald looked back at the man with his eyebrow raised. “Do you have any title of note?”

“I’m a potter.”

“Very well,” the herald said in exasperation. He turned back to an obviously amused Lord, Lady, and their daughter. “Announcing Ignatious Peverell, the Potter.”

At that the man removed his hood revealing a messy mop of black hair. When he looked up from attempting to tame it for a moment they were met with a longish face with a strong jaw and cheekbones. Finally looking fully at the nobles before him, he smiled sheepishly, bringing a slight twinkle to startling green eyes. “Pardon the intrusion. I am unfamiliar with this area of the country and since it was getting late, I thought I might beg the hospitality of the Lord for lodging for the night.”

Merida was mesmerized. Not only was he strikingly handsome but there seemed to be something about him that drew her to get to know him better. She nearly had to physically restrain herself from rising from her seat. She tried to tell her mother that if her father didn’t grant him permission to stay that she’d do something drastic but her brain seemed to have lost the ability to form complete sentences. When she finally registered that she had been asked a question she turned to her mother with a confused look.

“Merida, dear, your father asked what you thought of inviting this young man to stay in the castle tonight,” her mother repeated with a knowing look on her face.

Again Merida tried to engage her brain but all that came out of her mouth was a low “Woof.”

“And I think we may have a winner,” her mother murmured under her breath.

Chapter One -The Black Parade

Modern day

An odd sight greeted Harry as he stepped off the train at King’s Cross station. Standing about half way between the edge of the platform and the exit to the Muggle side was a goblin dressed in a three piece suit that was obviously made for him and holding a very expensive looking ox-blood valise. As the group approached him, he began calling their names.

“Mr. Potter, Ms. Granger, Mr. and Miss Weasley, Mr. Longbottom and Ms. Lovegood, if you could please all come with me. You are required at the will reading for Lord Sirius Orion Black. Your parents and guardians have been notified of the delay in your return home and been assured we will provide appropriate transportation when we have concluded with our business.”

Before Harry could form a response he found himself ushered to the floo (which he didn’t even know was there before now. Why did so many wizards use the Muggle entrance?) and walking into what the Goblins called Conference Room 6. To Harry it looked more like the speaking auditorium they visited when he was in primary school where they talked about their secondary school options. It had sloping sides with ten rows of tiered seating centered around a speaker’s podium that held a desk with an imposing looking Goblin seated behind it. When he looked around at those already seated he noticed that the Weasley parents were on row seven and their children were being directed to them. Harry and Hermione were directed to the center of the front row with Neville and Luna behind them on the right and Remus and Tonks on the left. Behind them was Amelia Bones. He had a moment to wonder why the head of the DMLE would be here before Hermione prodded him down the row to their seats.

Once he was seated, he realized that there was someone already sitting in the seat to his left. Looking closer he recognized Fleur Delacour. To her left he saw two men in suits, a woman in a suit dress, another that looked to be her sister, a cute blond that looked to be near his age wearing a band t-shirt and jeans, a red head he vaguely remembered from the telly with someone who appeared to be her mother and a man that reminded him of the librarian at the library in Little Whinging. Turning to look at the rest of the seats he saw Draco and what had to be his mother seated on the row in front of the Weasleys but on the opposite side of the room and Snape sat directly behind them. It made him snicker that he also saw Cornelius Fudge sat on the very top row next to the door with a very angry Goblin guard standing over him.

Just then the door slammed open and Dumbledore stormed into the room. “I protest Mr. Potter being here. He needs to be at his family’s home where he is protected.”

The Goblin at the desk looked up with a sneer on his face. “Protest all you want, Mr. Potter stays and you have no authority here. Either take your seat beside Mr. Fudge or leave, I care not which.” He then went back to his papers, dismissing the wizard entirely. Once Dumbledore had been escorted to his seat and the doors sealed the Goblin looked up at the assembly.

“Now that everyone is here,” the goblin croaked, “We can move on with the business at hand. I am required by law to state that in accordance with goblin custom anyone who attempts to violate this hearing with an attack on another member of the assembled will be torn to shreds and all their assets will be ceded to the attacked party, their next of kin, or worst case to the Gringott clan holdings.  
“I will now read the last will and Testament of Sirius Orion Black. Please keep all comments and cries of dismay 'til the end. You may collect your inheritance at the exit once the will has been completed. Any attempt to contest this will must be done in single combat against the Clan champion Ragnar Skullsplitter per Lord Black’s wishes.”

The goblin then once again cleared his throat and pulled the collection of documents before him. “I, Sirius Black, being of sound mind (Shut up Moony, you too pup) and body do declare this my last will and testament, hereby nullifying all previous wills. I begin this with a statement made under veritaserum and authenticated by an oath that was witnessed by three individuals whose honor is beyond repute: Clan Chief Ragnok of Gringotts, Curse Breaker William Weasley, and Auror Nymphadora Tonks. 

“I was not the Secret Keeper of the Potters location on the night of October 31st. That would be one Peter Pettigrew who is still alive and in service to his dark master. This information has been in possession of Albus Dumbledore for the last two years and even though he had the power to grant me a trial, which I never received, he decided to sit on it and allow the Minister to continue the Kiss on Sight order of an innocent man. I will address this further in my bequests.

“Next, I would set some matters of the House of Black to rights. Andromeda Tonks nee Black and her daughter Nymphadora are to be reinstated to the House of Black. I hereby annul the marriage of Bellatrix LeStrange nee Black to the House of LeStrange on the grounds of betrayal of the House of Black. All doweries are to be returned to the House of Black immediately and all debts are called due. I hereby annul the marriage of Narcissa Malfoy nee Black to the House of Malfoy on the grounds of betrayal of the House of Black. All doweries are to be returned to the House of Black immediately and all debts are called due. I now hereby cast out Narcissa Black and Bellatrix Black from the House of Black along with any issue.”

Harry was startled by Hermione’s gasp at the last statement. “Harry, he just cast Draco out. He now has no claim to the House of Black at all.” Before they could speak more the Goblin continued.

“Take heart young Draco, all hope is not lost. I’ve just removed you from the dark wanker’s radar. You should be of little use to him now and can live the life you want, not the one your father has laid out for you.

“Now for the last order of important business before we get to the fun stuff. As his bonded Godfather and true magical legal guardian I hereby declare Hadrian James Potter emancipated and capable of receiving all Lordships he is entitled to with all the rights and responsibilities there of.”

Harry was snapped out of his momentary shock by the simultaneous shouting from both Minister Fudge and Professor Dumbledore. 

“This is preposterous!”

“He is not even sixteen yet! He can’t be allowed to run amok with a wand!”

Harry noticed the Goblin sigh and glance at him. Harry just shrugged. 

“Security!” The Goblin’s cry brought in two large and nasty looking Trolls. Dumbledore and Fudge both quieted down instantly. “Now, as I was saying…I also declare him emancipated and legally an adult in the wizarding world with all the rights and responsibilities that accompany it. Also as the original executor of James Potters will, I will note that he is due to become Lord Potter at age sixteen and receive the remainder of his inheritance on his birthday, July 31st. Finally, I will state that Albus Dumbledore willfully ignored James and Lily’s will by putting Harry with Lily’s sister who she was sure was mentally unstable. 

“As I have given the Ministry all the evidence it needs to remove Albus Dumbledore from any position in manipulating Harry’s life, my next duty was to find a suitable guardian. As the only guardians I would find fitting would likely be bogged down in red tape until the 31st anyway, why not just make his emancipation a few weeks early.

“Now on to the gifts to hopefully ease the blow of my passing. We’ll begin with those that I’m sure are the most uncomfortable in the room and have much better places to be.

“To Rupert Giles I leave the beer stein collection I lifted from the most epic pub crawl ever. I still don’t know how you drank me under all those tables but you sir are a man among men.” Harry looked over at the librarian as the man burst out laughing. That sounded like a story he wanted to hear.

“To Ann Possible I leave my old biker leathers seeing how you liked them so much. Thank you for that memorable night seventeen years ago.” As Harry’s eyebrows rose into his hairline he heard the younger girl beside the now fondly smiling woman hiss “Mom!” Another story he was sure would be entertaining. He’d have to see if he could get addresses to go with these people later.

“To Diana Prince I leave Hut #4 and a reusable portkey to Black Island. Thanks for helping me with my recovery.” So that’s what was so special about that island, Harry thought to himself.

“To Donna Troy I leave Hut #7 and a reusable portkey to Black Island. Thank you for helping me with my recovery.” A hissed “What the hell?” was heard from down the row. Harry didn’t feel brave enough to look to see who said it.

“To Cassie Sandsmark I leave the cabana by the grotto and a reusable portkey to Black Island as well as my thanks for your amazing assistance in my recovery.” The bickering down the row stopped followed by the younger woman saying, “What? He was better than Connor.”

The Goblin coughed before continuing and Harry strongly suspected it was to cover a laugh. “To Clark Kent I leave all the Black family silver. This is partially an early wedding present and partially an apology. I swear Kara said she was eighteen.” Harry just buried his head in his hands. Oh Padfoot, what have you done?

“To Bruce Wayne...there’s nothing material I can leave you to make up for the very bad drunken prank I pulled on you. I am sincerely sorry for the pink cowl. I will leave you contact information for my two favorite inventors/pranksters. I’m sure you could become their best investor.” Pink cowl? I really don’t want to know that story.

The Goblin looked up from the paperwork on the desk. “Those of you who have received your bequests may leave now if you wish. You can collect your items at the desk outside the door. You are also welcome to stay.” The two men in suits along with the two brunettes stood and made their way to the door. When the room was sealed again the Goblin went back to the papers in front of him.

“For the rest of the bequests, unless you are asked to stay, please leave once your portion has been read. I have already given the Goblins authorization to use any means they deem necessary to enforce this...request.

“To Albus Dumbledore I leave a copy of my memoir My Two Knuts , which will soon be on sale with proceeds going to the discredit Albus Dumbledore foundation. I also ban you from any and all Black properties.

“To Minister Cornelius Fudge I leave a map, a compass and the services of a Sherpa for one year. Now maybe you can find your own arse.

“To Amelia Bones, Head of the DMLE I leave envelopes two through eleven and thirteen through fifty-six. I’m sure you’ll find the reading quite enlightening. Feel free to stay until the end of the reading.

“To Severus Snape I leave the sum of 20,000 galleons a year on the condition that he continues to brew the wolfsbane potion for Remus Lupin, and Letter number 12. I also formally apologize for all the antics that James and I played on you. I also admit to being the primary instigator and driving force behind them.

“To Draco Malfoy I’ve already given you the best gift I could by making you less valuable to Moldy Shorts so now I’m going to offer you a new start. I’m leaving you the sum of 10,000 galleons and transportation to anywhere you want. This is your chance to make a name for yourself, not just carry on with the bootlicking your father seems so fond of. Your mother’s status not withstanding, you have Black blood in your veins. Do something to make the new Lord Black consider for you the gift I gave Andromeda.” Damn, now he wants me to play nice with the ferret, Harry groused in his head. Have to play wait and see on that one.

“To the woman who has tried to be a mother to Harry, if you call being more manipulative than Hera motherly, Molly Weasley, I leave a brand new set of matching luggage.” Huh?

“To the man who has been the father I could not be, Arthur Weasley, I leave evidence of your wife’s attempted poisonings of my godson and many illicit dealings with Albus Dumbledore. I also leave 100,000 Galleons, an immediate cleansing to remove any charms or potions she may have you under and free use of the Black family lawyer. I recommend you use him to get a divorce and finally go after the real woman of your heart. I mean really, there’s a reason she never remarried.” What the hell is he talking about? Harry wondered. The Weasley’s were good people, his friends, right? Why was Sirius saying these things? He noticed Amelia get up and follow Arthur out, leaving the twins with the two youngest Weasleys.

“To my godson’s supposed best friend who aided his mother’s attempted poisonings of my godson and also betrayed his trust to one Albus Dumbledore, Ron Weasley, I leave a crystal ball. I know you don’t believe in the future which is good as you have none, at least not within the Black household. The House of Black names you persona non grata for the crimes of sabotage, betrayal, envy and harming the rightful heir to an ancient and noble house.” Harry felt Hermione stiffen beside him as he heard Ron start yelling about how it wasn’t what it sounded like and to give him a chance to explain. When the Goblin glanced at him for direction, Harry gave him a subtle negative shake and Ron was quickly whisked out of the room. What other surprises did Sirius have in store for him?

“To Ginerva Weasley, 10,000 Galleons and Vault 1377. May you find more than you are looking for. I acknowledge that you had no part in your mother’s plans and recommend that you be checked out for potions and compulsion charms. Also, I am required to remind you that you owe my godson a life debt. And please, if you haven’t by this time, see a mind healer about what you went through in your first year. That’s not something you just get over.

“To Fred and George Weasley, I leave my notebooks and prank journals with the exception of the one on animagus transformation. I also leave you all of my shares in the Hollyhead Harpies Quidditch team as I am sure Harry will be a little too distracted to appreciate its ownership.” That snapped Harry out of his shock. Wait, too distracted by what?

“To Neville Longbottom I leave the Black estate at the Roseheart Dragon Reserve. I hear they have a marvelous greenhouse. I also leave you 300,000 galleons for the upkeep of your parents and a bit of advice. Look to Muggle medicine when it seems that Magic has hit a dead end. I’m sure Hermione will help you. If they have continued to progress as they had when Lily showed us what they could do there may be hope for them yet. I wish I could offer you the head of Bellatrix Lestrange but that’s something Harry’s going to have to help you with. Please feel free to stay til the end of the proceedings.” Harry looked back and locked eyes with Neville. After a few seconds they nodded to each other in understanding and turned back to the front.

“To Luna Lovegood I leave three keys that have been in my family for longer than any can remember. Maybe you’ll be able to unlock their secrets. I’ve also set up a 20,000 galleon dowery for you so your father can continue to search for all those wonderful creatures. Please feel free to stay until the end of the proceedings.” Behind him, Harry heard Luna mutter, “Well, that’s a bit of a useless gesture.”

“To Nymphandora Tonks, I leave my collection of Muggle novels and 100,000 galleons. I also give this piece of advice. Some folks have to be hit over the head to see what’s in front of them. The one you love is one of them. Please feel free to stay until the end of the proceedings” Tonks is in love? With who?

“To Remus Lupin, I leave Grimauld Place. I doubt my Godson will ever want to step foot in there again and the thought of you wolfing out and accidentally shredding my mother’s portrait does my heart good. I also leave you 100,000 Galleons and the advice I have always given you: Do not let your affliction rule your life. Please stay until the end of the proceedings. I think Harry will need you.” Thank you Sirius.

“To Fleur Delacour I leave letter number fifty-seven. Please take good care of what I’m entrusting you with. I value it more than my life.” I didn’t even know he knew Fleur. I wonder what he left her.

“To Hermione Granger I leave 100,000 Galleons and Vault 1375. You might find the collection educational. Also, not that I think you would ever forget, but I am required to remind you that you owe my godson a life debt. Please stay until the end of the proceedings, however short they may be. As always, Harry will need you.” What did you give her, Sirius?

To Hadrian James Potter, my beloved godson, I leave the remainder of my fortune and the title of Lord Black. Unfortunately there is also another Lordship that comes with all this but that will be explained later in the parcel the Goblins will give you. As I said earlier, I was to be the executor of your parents’ will but since my hotheadedness kept that from happening all that will be a part of the parcel as well. Now, since I know you probably just got off the train and haven’t had any time to process anything, I’m going to take care of at least the first month of your holidays. First, you’ll be going to see the Goblin healers to make sure there’s nothing in your system that shouldn’t be. They’ll also be checking for any charms, blocks and health damage they can fix. After they’re done with you, I’m sending you to the happiest place on Earth for a full month, Las Vegas! I know, you’re still underage in the Muggle world, but the wallet the Goblins will give you should take care of that. Hopefully there’s a pretty blond about your age still sitting at the end of your row that can be your tour guide. Don’t worry about all the lordships and will stuff until you get back. There’s nothing there that won’t keep for a few weeks. Your parcel is labeled envelope one but it’s a bit more than an envelope. It will tell you everything you need to know about your holdings and duties. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you this in person. All I can say is lean on those who are closest to you. They will never let you down. Go to Vegas, have fun, get drunk, and for Merlin’s sake, get laid. I love you pup, but you’re wound tighter than a clockmaker’s watch right now and that’s not going to help you accomplish all that you need to.”

The Goblin looked up from his desk. “This ends the will reading of Sirius Orion Black. Mr. Potter if you could stay here for a few moments, I have a few things for you to sign.”

Harry stood and looked at those who were left in the room with him. “Um, could I get someone to stay with me? I’m really unfamiliar with official paperwork and such.”

The Goblin stroked his chin. “Within limits. Your Godfather restricted who could approach you after the proceedings.”

“I see,” Harry said looking around him. “Remus could you stay?” When Remus nodded, Harry looked over at Hermione. “I’m sorry, Hermione, I just-“

Hermione placed her finger over his mouth. “Hush, Harry, I understand. I’m going to go down to the vault and see what Sirius left me. If you’re not finished by the time I am I’ll just wait in the lobby for you.”

“I’ll join you,” Tonks volunteered. “Just to make sure you’re safe. I’m sure some of the others who were here aren’t too thrilled with how they made out.”

Neville clapped him on the shoulder. “Owl me when you get back. We’ll check out this dragon reserve together.” He walked to the end of the row and stopped to wait for Luna.

Luna smiled and hugged Harry. “See you in two weeks.”

“Huh?” Harry said, confused. “But Sirius said I’d be gone for a month.”

“I know. Bye Harry.” Luna skipped down the row and looped her arm in Neville’s as they left the room.

Harry was next greeted by the librarian. “Mr. Potter, you have my condolences and best wishes. If you should ever need anything you simply need ask.” At that he handed Harry a business card with his contact information on it. Oddly enough, he was a librarian. He then smiled a bit and shook Harry’s hand. “Besides, if you’re anything like Sirius I’m sure we’ll be seeing each other again.”

As Harry turned back to the front of the room he heard a hissed “Mother!” again and turned to see the red head, Ann something if he remembered, walking towards him with her daughter. “I was wondering if you’d be willing to take Kimmie here with you on your vacation? She likely needs a break as much as you.”

“Um, sure,” Harry said with an uncertain grin. “You did hear what he said in my part of the will, right?”

“Oh yes dear. That’s why I thought to ask. She needs some time like that more than anyone I know.”

“Mother!”

“Well it’s true, and your taste in boys is terrible,” Ann said before turning back to Harry. “Thank you so much. I’ll leave our contact information with...”

The blond walked up to the group. “I’ll take care of them, Mrs. Possible. I’ll give you a call when we plan to leave England and we’ll set everything up. Harry, I’ll be in the lobby when you’re finished with your business.” She winked at him and lead the others towards the door.

“Uhm thanks, I think,” he muttered to himself. He heard Remus chuckle beside him and shot him a look. “You’re not helping.”

“Seems like Padfoot’s trying to make sure you follow in his footsteps,” Remus said with a grin. “Good luck with that.”

***

Albus stormed down the hall to the lobby of the bank, Cornelius not far behind. “We must hurry,” he explained to Cornelius. “Mr. Potter’s emancipation must be overturned as soon as possible.”

Cornelius was huffing to keep up. “Why is the boy so bloody important?”

“There was a prophesy made concerning him and Voldemort,” Albus responded. “Alas, I cannot impart the details seeing the globe was destroyed but Harry is vital to defeating him.”

As they came up to the door, two Aurors were waiting on them. “Minister,” said one, “we have a summons for you from the Wizengamot. You are to report immediately.”

Cornelius paled. “I’m afraid I won’t be able to help you Albus. It seems that the inevitable is happening sooner than I thought.”

Albus placed a hand on his shoulder. “I’ll go ahead and delay them while you-“

“While I do what?” the Minister hissed. “Add treason to whatever list of charges they have already? No Albus, you’re on your own. I will stand and face my accusers.”

Albus stood shocked as the Minister walked away with the Aurors, his head held high.

***

Draco walked out of the conference room with his mother close on his heels. “I’ll get our lawyers to begin the process of contesting the will right away. There’s no way the Potter brat will get-“

“Mother, stop,” Draco all but commanded as he turned to face her. “You will do no such thing. Didn’t you listen to what Sirius said to me in the will? He’s given me the out I’ve been looking for and a possible way back in if I can keep from making an ass of myself. I’m not going to throw that away and I’m not going to let you turn me into a slave.”

Leaving Narcissa gaping behind him, Draco strode up to the first available teller. “Pardon me,” he said with unaccustomed courtesy. “I’d like to see someone regarding the laws governing Head of House status.”

The Goblin looked momentarily stunned. “I’ll check to see who is available. Name?”

“Draco Malfoy, Scion of House Malfoy.”

“Do the Malfoys not have a current Head?”

Draco looked pained for a moment before his mask fell into place. “He has been incarcerated and is no longer able to perform his duties as Head of House. I need to know what I am able to do to keep the House from failing.”

After consulting a parchment that Draco couldn’t see, the Goblin closed his window and gestured for Draco to follow him. It was a matter of minutes and several twisting hallways later that he found himself in front of a door with a metal plaque that read Dammit, Scruitt & Killet, Attorneys at Law. He gave the teller a questioning look. The Goblin shrugged. “Slander and libel, familial and criminal law specialists. You will be seeing Scruitt. Please have a seat just inside the door and he will be with you shortly.”

Draco did as he was told and a short time later another Goblin in a three piece suit came out to greet him. “Mr. Malfoy, I am Scruitt, familial law specialist. Step into my office and we will discuss your situation.”

Draco followed Scruitt into his office and began his explanation much the same way he had to the teller. He noted that while he was speaking the Goblin’s expression seemed to become more and more amused. Before he could ask just what was so amusing Scruitt broke out into a peal of laughter.

“Pardon me, Mr. Malfoy,” he said when he had collected himself. “I was just reminded of the day your father was in my office, not much older than you are now, asking the same questions. It seemed that he had poisoned your grandfather but the stubborn old fool refused to die. He was too ill to perform his duties, but still kicking, you see.”

Draco looked aghast. “Lucius killed his own father? We were always told it was Dragonpox.”

The Goblin rolled his eyes. “Well of course you were. He wouldn’t have been eligible to be the Head if he had admitted to killing the previous one, now would he?”

“I suppose not,” Draco agreed. “Well, thankfully for me Lucius got himself in his current predicament without any help from me. So, what options do I have?”

Scruitt scratched his chin in thought for a moment. “The easiest thing to start would be to see if Magic will recognize you as the Head of the British House of Malfoy.”

“British house?” Draco asked.

“I guess I shouldn’t be surprised,” the Goblin muttered. “You know your family actually came to Britain from France, right?” When Draco nodded he continued. “They did that because of a split in the family. They were allowed to keep the last name but their descendants would have no claim to the line on the Continent. Therefore you would be Head of the British House.”

Draco nodded in understanding. “Ok, how do I do that?”

“Place your wand hand palm down on this plaque,” Scruitt instructed, pointing at a small slab of marble on his desk. “Then declare ‘I, Draco Tiberius Malfoy, do hereby claim the position of Head of the British House of Malfoy with all the rights and duties it entails.’ If it accepts the ring will appear on your finger.”

“And if it doesn’t?”

The Goblin shrugged. “Nothing. Lucius won’t even know you tried.”

After a determined nod, Draco followed Scruitt’s instructions. There was a half a minute after his statement when nothing happened, then a flash and the Malfoy ring appeared on his finger.

“Congratulations, Mr. Malfoy,” Scruitt said with a nod. “It seems Magic finds you more fit than your father to lead your house.” He then slid a few pieces of parchment over to Draco. “This will also emancipate you and give you control of your seat in the Wizengamot. As you are not yet seventeen you will have to have a regent to sit your vote. Keep in mind when making that selection that a person cannot be the regent for more than one family. Is there any other business you wish to attend to today?”

“I would like to get an accounting of the holdings of the House and of course throw my father out of the family.” Draco looked thoughtful for a moment. “I also have another question. Would it be possible for me to change the family name?”

Scruitt nodded. “Since you are not of the primary line any longer it is within your power to do so. Do you know what you would like the new name to be?”

“Not as of yet,” Draco replied. “I’m still working on it. I’m just thinking that a name that says bad faith would be a poor fit to someone trying to redeem their family’s image.”

“A very valid point, Mr. Malfoy. I’ll let your family’s account manager know we’re coming and escort you to his office.”

***

Amelia would have been amused by the increasing number of curses and compulsions the cursebreaker was reversing if they had not been cast on her friend Arthur Weasley. It was amazing he could still function normally on a day to day basis. The sad fact was that he still had to have his system flushed of the potions detected by the blood test done before the curesbreaker began. Even his appearance was changing from the mild-mannered, easy-going man with a bit of a paunch and early “laugh lines” to a strong, confident Head of an Ancient family that could easily be recognized as the sire of sons like William and Charles. This was the man she remembered thinking he would become when they were still in school, the man that was taken from her.

When the last compulsion was removed Amelia had to grab for Arthur’s arm to keep him from going after Molly, who was being held under Goblin guard until the Aurors could collect her, if that was Arthur’s wish. “No, Arthur, not here. Not like this,” she said to him in the most soothing tone she could muster. “I’ll have her taken into custody if that’s what you want but if you attack her in public, she wins.”

Arthur visibly controlled his anger and turned away from his wife. He couldn’t bear the sight of her. “I don’t think I want her arrested. That would be too easy and be a public mark against the family name. I want to know if she has any accounts outside of the family accounts. Add Ronald into that as well. We have struggled for years and if she was holding back or worse, stealing, she doesn’t deserve to keep it.”

A small Goblin, obviously an assistant, walked up to Arthur and presented him with two ledgers. “We have one for each of them, Mr. Weasley. As Head of House you may decided what is to be done with the contents.”

Arthur’s scowl deepened as he looked over the ledgers. “Drain them both to the main family account,” he snarled. “At least now I won’t have to worry about Ginny or the twins finishing their education.” Slamming the books shut he looked back at the Goblin. “Draw up papers to have them formally removed from the Weasley family.”

“But Arthur-“

“No, Molly,” he said, cutting her off. “You did this to me once before and I believed you when you said you were sorry and it was over. Now you’ve not only done this to me again, but attempted to do it to Harry! A young man who looked to us as the only family he’s ever known. Bollocks, Molly! After looking at that list I’m surprised I could tie my own shoes without you suggesting it! So you are out of the family and you can take Ronald with you. From what little I heard in there you were successful in raising him to your standards.”

He turned back to the Goblin Healers and his shoulders slumped. “Let’s just get this over with so I can go home and decide how I’m going to move forward.”

When he was out of earshot Amelia turned on Molly. “When you collect your son I suggest you not go back to the Burrow. Your things will be packed and sent to Tom at the Leaky Cauldron. And just so you know, I fully intend to help Arthur in any way that I can until he’s gotten his head straight.” A small, vindictive smirk graced her lips. “And when I say help Arthur, I mean twenty-four hour service. You took him from me once. Only he will be able to send me away this time, if that’s his choice.” She then turned and walked in the direction the Healers had taken Arthur, a slight sway to her hips.

***

Ginny hopped out of the cart as it came to a halt outside of vault 1377. “I’ll just be a few minutes, guys,” she called back to the twins who were still in the cart, noses buried in the notebooks the Goblins had given to them.

“Uh-huh,” was their only reply.

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Well, it could actually be several hours. Who knows what he left in here.”

“Uh-huh.”

What great guardians, she thought to herself. “Oh darn! Says here I have to spill the life blood of a sibling in order to open the door.”

“Should have brought Ron,” they answered in unison still not looking up from the notebooks.

The Goblin looked at her. “Do I want to know?”

Ginny grinned. “Just making sure they had some situational awareness. I’ll be out shortly.”

Upon entering the vault she noticed that it was set up much like a smallish personal library but instead of books lining shelves, there were glass fronted cabinets full of small vials. On a table in the middle of the room was a small stone bowl covered in runes, a square-ish leather satchel, and a letter. An expensive looking trunk sat on the floor beside the table. Ginny decided to investigate the trunk first.

Inside she found what looked like a full body suit made of some type of black hide lined in acromantula silk. There were boots, gloves and some type of hooded cowl to match. Underneath all that was what looked like a small sword in a sheath. Everything was matte black, almost like it was made of shadows and looking at the cowl she just knew no one would be able to see her face or anything identifiable with it on. “Sirius, what kind of kinky bondage trip do you want me to go on?” She looked over at the table and the letter. “Hope that explains something.”

She picked up the letter and settled into a chair that had appeared by the end of the table. She smiled when she noticed that it was written in Sirius’ own scrawl and knew she would cherish it, no matter what it said inside.

“Dear Ginny,

I fear I have a tremendous favor to ask of you. Unfortunately, I know you’ll say yes and that will set the course for the rest of your life. Knowing your curiosity is only surpassed by that of your twin brothers who are probably out in the cart with their noses stuck in the notebooks I left them, I’m sure you looked in the trunk first. It’s not some kinky bondage outfit,”

Ginny snorted at the correctness of the previous lines.

“but one made for stealth and protection of the wearer. There is a journal in a side pocket of the trunk that will outline all the functions of the suit and how to activate them. It is made to fit you now but also has self-altering charms so that it will change with you.

The need for such a suit will be explained in some of the many vials you are now surrounded by. The stone bowl on the table is a personal pensieve and the satchel is a carrying case for it and as many as a hundred vials. Again, you will find a manual of sorts in the pocket in the main compartment of the satchel that will tell you how to operate the private and projection modes. It is used to view memories. That’s what’s stored in all the vials; copies of my memories and some donated by other people to help you.

Now for the favor. I need you to do something for Harry that he will never be able to do. The Potters and the Blacks have had a long standing agreement that I need you to continue for me. You see, we weren’t at such cross purposes as people thought. While the Potters worked in the ‘light’, the Blacks worked in the shadows to make sure that the truly wicked never gained power over the weak. Think of it as the dark blade that ensured that the right things happened. Of course, when one is in that role they have to be palatable to the wicked things of the world, hence why my family had such a dark reputation. I was my generation’s Scion of Black and the shadow to James Potter’s light. I want to ask you to be the shadow for Harry. It’s not something I could ask of Hermione. She’s much too fond of following the rules. The twins have the skill set but they would see it as a game and never doubt that it is a very serious role I am asking you to take on.

No, Ginevra, you are the only one I could ask and as I said, I know you’re going to say yes. You may lie to yourself and say you’re only doing it because of the life debt, but the truth is you’re doing it because you know what He is like. He’s been in your head and you know what kind of things it will take to get rid of him forever. You know what He’s capable of, what He’s willing to do. You know why He must be stopped. You also know that you can’t trust the old man. If he had the best interest of the students at heart that diary would have never made it onto the school grounds and never would have endangered your life. Oh and let’s not forget the stone, the Dementors, and that damnable tournament. No, the Headmaster is playing games and those surrounding him he sees as pieces and the world is his board. He’s your second target. Harry won’t be able to live the life we both know he deserves until they are both gone.

The vials in the cabinets around you will give you the information you need to accomplish this task. The ones in the case you need to see first as they will give you some history on the role I’m asking you to play. You’ll also find my little black book. No, it’s not full of my conquests, but my contacts and what they can do for you. Any useful information I have on people will have a number beside their name. That number corresponds to a memory vial. As I said before, the pensieve has a projection mode but I wouldn’t use it unless you can be absolutely sure you are in a secure, private location. This vault, of course qualifies, as does the room of requirement. Yes, I suggest you take this to school with you. It will take a while to get through everything and I’d be surprised if you were finished with what’s in the satchel before the summer is up.

I’m sorry, Ginny. The young should never be asked to fight the wars of the old but they far too often are. You might want to put the suit on under your clothes so you can get used to it. You and everyone around you deserve to have a happy, dark lord free life and if you work together, hopefully you won’t have to suffer him for very long. Now, take the pensieve and satchel and get out of this gloomy vault. And please, please stop by the Goblin Healers before you leave to be checked for charms and potions. There’s also the name of a mind healer in the black book. She helped me a lot after Azkaban so I’m sure she could help you.

Mischief Managed,

Padfoot, The Original S. O. B.”

Ginny was in tears by the end of the letter. “If I have to bring Hogwarts down around their ears,” she whispered, “I promise, Padfoot, I’ll keep Harry safe.”

***

When the cart finally came to a stop, Hermione stumbled out and stood with her hands on her knees taking in huge gulps of air to try and quell her rolling stomach. “Worst roller coaster ride ever,” she gasped out.

Tonks took a moment to admire the view Hermione was providing before walking up and offering her a stomach soother. “This should help. Most of the old families take a mild calming draught before coming down to the vaults. Some even prefer to pay the five knut fee to have things brought up to them.”

Hermione straightened up and downed the potion. “After I figure out what’s in here I might be inclined to do the same. Now, let’s go see what your cousin left me.”

When Hermione opened the door to the vault she was met with the sight of many, many books. The vault looked to be 25-30 feet square with ten foot ceilings. It was not only lined with book shelves, but most of the interior space was free standing shelves that were floor to ceiling as well. To the right of the entrance was a small desk with an overstuffed chair perfect for reading or taking notes. Hermione walked up to the desk and found a book on it as if it were waiting for her. “How to Navigate the Male Dominated Ministry When You have No Interest in Men,” she read aloud.

Tonks snorted behind her. “Something you might find useful?”

Hermione turned and looked at her intently. “Would you hold it against me if I did?”

Tonks went very still. “I’m probably going to regret saying this but the only thing I want to hold against you is me.”

Hermione flushed and stepped away. It was hard to believe a room of this size could feel claustrophobic all of a sudden. “Really?” she squeaked. At Tonks’ nod she muttered “Oh bloody hell,” and began pacing. “Of course. I’m the one you’re interested in. And Sirius ‘I love a joke’ Black couldn’t bother to clue me in. This is a bloody nightmare.”

Tonks was torn. On the one hand, listening to Hermione cuss was funny and sort of cute. On the other, she was cussing about Tonks expressing an interest in her and that might be bad. “Look, if you’re not interested, I understand. I was just trying to do what Sirius had advised me to do.”

Hermione stopped and turned suddenly to face her. “Not interested? Oh, I’m very interested. I’m so interested we could probably work out one of my fantasies right here in this vault. The problem is we can’t.”

Tonks was slack-jawed for a moment. “W-why not?”

Hermione groaned and flopped into the chair. “Because I’m in a relationship and it’s not just my decision to make.”

Tonks blinked in confusion. “Wait. If you’re in a relationship what decision is there to make? Doesn’t that kind of automatically mean no?”

Hermione grinned up at her. “No, it means not until I can talk to my partners and see if they are amiable to bringing in someone else.”

Tonks gaped. “Partners, as in more than one? Great Merlin, Granger, what have you got going on in that school, a harem or something?”

Hermione covered her face with her hands. “Twins.”

Tonks shook her head. “Get up and go look at your books. I need to sit for a minute. That’s more than I ever expected to hear from you.”

Hermione got up and purposefully brushed past Tonks on her way to the stacks. “If it helps, they’ll probably say yes.”

“Not helping!” Tonks groaned as Hermione sashayed into the back of the room, her laughter echoing off the ceiling.

***

“So, when are you and Harry leaving England?” Ann asked Cassie as they paused in the lobby.

Cassie shrugged. “If all goes well with the Healers, probably this afternoon.”

Kim gulped. “That soon?”

Ann brightened. “Is there really a need in her going all the way back to Colorado just to leave right away for Vegas? I mean, depending on how you travel, you’ll probably be there before we are.”

“True,” Cassie agreed. “Especially seeing as I have access to the Justice League’s transporter. I don’t see why she couldn’t wait and leave with us from here.”

“But I don’t have any clothes!” Kim protested. “What if we go somewhere nice? And I can’t believe I just agreed to go on this trip.”

Ann snorted. “Kimmie cub, Harry’s rich and if he’s anything at all like Sirius, he’ll make sure you’re well taken care of. And really, do you see him wanting to leave the room with two lovely young ladies as his companions?” She then turned to Cassie. “Just let me know when I should expect her home.”

“Sure thing, Dr. Possible,” Cassie said in a cheerful voice.

Kim just watched slack-jawed as her mother walked away. “What have I gotten myself into now?”

Cassie chuckled behind her. “I think it’s pretty evident what you’ve gotten yourself into. I’m just wondering when you’re going to admit that you actually want it.”

Kim looked shocked. “Why in the world would you think that I would want to spend the next month with a boy I don’t even know presumably having wild sex as often as possible? What about me makes you think that’s something I’d go looking for?”

Cassie snorted. “Go looking for, no. This, however, you had dropped in your lap and even as assertive as your mother was I’m fairly certain she would have backed down if you’d put your foot down.” Cassie crossed her arms and regarded the red head. “You know all the Titans are held up to your standard. We all know that our mentors want us to be more like you. Who’d have thought ‘little miss perfect’ is just another adrenaline junkie.”

“I do that stuff to help people,” Kim huffed, mimicking Cassie’s stance.

“Bullshit,” Cassie said, laughing outright. “You do it for the rush, just like the rest of us teen heroes. Yes, we do good and we help people but so do doctors and teachers. If you were just about doing good, you could tutor after school or volunteer at a community center. The only reason you go after super villains and jump out of planes is for the rush.”

“Ok, fine. What if you’re right?” Kim asked indignantly. “How does that translate to me wanting to spend a month in bed with a stranger?”  
“Well, to borrow a phrase from your mother,” Cassie began with a smirk, “if he’s anything like Sirius, it’ll be one hell of a ride. All the rush, none of the danger. Plus, the Justice League keeps tabs on all of us teen heroes. A little bird’s told me that you’ve slacked off lately. That either means that you’ve been grounded, which judging from your mom’s reaction isn’t the case, or something happened recently that’s soured you to the hero gig. Either way, you’re having an increasingly growing itch that needs to be scratched and this trip is the perfect way to take care of it.”

Before Kim could retort a Goblin approached the two of them. “Ladies, Mr. Lupin asked that I inform you that Mr. Potter will be taking a bit longer than expected with the Healers. If you would follow me, you can wait with him in the medical lounge.”

Despite her earlier objections, Kim looked a bit concerned. “Is he ok?”

The Goblin sighed. “It seems that Mr. Potter is very sensitive to one of the ingredients in the flushing potion. Before I came out here I believe he said he could taste the color blue.”

Cassie and Kim looked at each other, back at the Goblin and then back at each other. “Oh I have got to see this,” Cassie said with a grin as the two followed the Goblin into the bank.

***

“Where in Merlin’s name is that Malfoy brat?” the Dark Lord hissed. “He should have been back hours ago. No will reading takes this long.” Voldemort was counting on gaining access not only to the considerable Black fortune through the boy, but also the priceless knowledge contained in the Black Family library in their London townhome. “Tell me again Severus, exactly what happened?”

Severus straightened his robes. “Well, the first thing Black did was to out Wormtail. He then dissolved the marriages of Narcissa and Bellatrix.” He paused as the Dark Lord began to chuckle at the fate of Lucius’ marriage. “Something humorous, my Lord?”

“It seems that Lucius’ perfect little world is falling apart. He’s lost his wife and now his son is a true bastard.”

Severus raised an eyebrow. “I feared it would displease you seeing Black also recalled all family doweries.” That quieted Voldemort. Severus continued. “He then cast the sisters out of the family, along with their issue. I know he left something to Draco but since it was after my bequest, I was not allowed to stay to hear what it was.”

Severus took a discreet step back as he watched the rage building in the Dark Lord. When Voldemort’s wand arm started to rise, Snape was sure that he was in for a very unpleasant end to his day. Fortunately, the Dark Lord turned instead to one of Draco’s body guards. Before the Dark Lord could hold the spell for more than a few seconds, they were all violently transported from the house to various places about the surrounding lands. Voldemort, Snape, and Goyle found themselves landing in the soft, marshy soil on the banks of the lake that ran along the northern part of the property.

“What is the meaning of this?!?!” the damp Dark Lord raged.

Goyle was dumb enough to answer. “I think that’s what happens when the Head of a House removes your access to their wards.”

Severus saw a bright green flash and Goyle’s lifeless body fall to the ground and then the Dark Lord screaming in rage, “Lucius!!!!”

Meantime, in the Malfoy account manager’s office in Gringotts Draco was looking over the ledgers in surprise. “Really? That’s all it takes? Me saying ‘I don’t want any Death Eaters in my house or their snake-faced master? It seems so...anti-climatic.”

“Yes, Mr. Malfoy, that’s it.”

“So they’ll all be gone when I get home?”

“They’re all gone now.”

“Brilliant!” Draco exclaimed. “Mimsy!”

A soft pop announced the arrival of a smallish female house elf. “Yes, Master Draco?”

Draco knelt down in front of the elf to be more at eye-level with her. “Mimsy, I need you to pack a trunk for Mother and myself. Mine needs to include all my Hogwarts things as well. We’ll be spending the summer at the Zabini villa. Once you’ve packed, close down the house and go straight there.”

Mimsy’s eyes became even bigger and rounder. “Mimsy is coming too?” she asked with hope.

Draco smiled. “Of course you are, Mimsy. How else would I get dressed in the morning and not look like a fool?”

Mimsy blushed at the praise. “Master Blaise will be there and he does so love clothes...”

Draco blushed and coughed before turning back to the Goblin. “Um, yes, is there anything else we need to take care of today?”

The Goblin smirked. “No, I can have any other papers forwarded to you in Italy. Enjoy your holiday.”

Draco bid him good day and headed back out to the lobby. He sent Mimsy on her way to her duties and looked at his mother. “Come along, Mother. We’re headed to Italy.”

Narcissa looked shocked. “But what about...our house guests?”

Draco raised his hand showing her the Head of House Malfoy ring. “The current Lord Malfoy evicted them. Now, are you coming?”

* * *

“I’m quite fine, Buffy,” Giles said patiently for the fourth time. “Sirius was a friend from my college years...No, he was not a friend of Ethan’s...We were pub friends, if you must know...Yes, something like a bar...Look, it’s getting late and if you want me to catch that plane tomorrow you’ll have to let me sleep...Yes, I’ll call when I land...Just who is the adult here?...Fine, fine. Goodnight, Buffy.” Giles sighed as he put down the phone and walked over to his dining room table.

Twenty-four steins sat lined up like soldiers in the middle of the table. He truly wasn’t sure how he or his liver survived that night. Or was it two? And to think that Sirius remembered each one and went back to create this collection. He picked one up from a place called The Hog’s Head and smiled. Just as he was about to set it back down he noticed an envelope inside. Curious, he pulled it out and found that it was addressed to “Ripper.”

Giles frowned before he said “I solemnly swear I am up to no good.” The envelope began to unfold itself completely revealing a letter.

Ripper,  
I know this isn’t the best way to catch up on old times but as you see, I’m a bit indisposed. I know that dead men aren’t supposed to need anything but I do need to ask something of you. A favor of sorts.

You’ll recall from my will reading there was a young man there. I called him my godson. He’s also the son of Prongs. To make matters worse, he’s also under a prophecy. Now, I know you’re one of those Watcher folk and I know that they put their golden girl in your hands. I’m not asking you to fight his battles or change any of your current plans, but keep an ear out for him and what’s going on in this corner of the world. The whiskered wonder won’t raise a hand to help him and what they’re teaching at that school’s a joke. He needs training, Ripper and from what I remember you’re the best teacher there is.

So what do you say? Throw an old dog a bone and teach the pup a trick or two? That’s all I can ask.

Padfoot

Giles sighed and shook his head. “This is what I get for drinking with wizards.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More madness.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If you don’t know that we don’t own any of this, then you seriously need to climb out from under a rock. This is just the random musings of a demented mind. No money is being made off of this so please do not attempt litigation as I don’t have any money to begin with. Also there are scenes in this story of an adult nature, including sex, violence, random drug use, Bawdy humor, and generally teens behaving badly. If this offends you then you might not want to read. If you are under an age where reading this kind of material is generally frowned on, please stop reading as I will not be held responsible for corrupting your mind...that is what school and your father’s porn stash are for.

Chapter 2  
Amelia braced herself for her next appointment of the day. She took one more deep breath and then told her secretary to send him in. The man she was bracing herself for, Albus “Too many names” Dumbledore, stormed in with far more authority than he actually possessed. “Thank you for seeing me Madam Bones. We must overturn this travesty before it’s too late.”

Amelia arched an eyebrow. “Travesty? Which travesty are you speaking of?” She fought the smirk that threatened to appear on her face as he instantly deflated.

Albus took a breath and began again. “I am referring to Mr. Potter being emancipated when he is not yet sixteen years of age. We also have no idea where he is currently residing. Surely you can see the problem with this.”

“So, everyone who has been emancipated before they were sixteen years old or older should have their emancipation revoked? I can think of several prominent houses that would take exception to that right now,” Amelia mused.

Albus blinked. “How so?”

“Come now, Albus,” Amelia began placatingly. “You can’t think that the Wizengamot is going to rule on this without thinking about how it will affect all the houses. You are talking about stripping the Noble houses of one of their primary rights. A right, I might add, that has been used by no less than four houses this year alone. You know that they will not give up any power willingly.”

“But I’m not talking about all the houses,” Albus defended. “Just Mr. Potter.”

“There are no exceptions in the law, Albus. What happens to one sets a precedent for what could happen to all. You would have to find another way.”  
“Well I’ll just have to get the will overturned,” he grumbled.

“On what grounds?” Amelia asked. “And just who would you get to attempt to overturn it?”

“What do you mean who? I would make the request.”

Amelia snorted, now clearly amused. “You can’t. It can only be challenged by a member of the house in good standing, and I would love to see you try to get one of them to challenge it.”

“Well I suppose I’ll have to talk to Lady Malfoy...er Black.”

“Nope. She was thrown out of the family right after Sirius annulled the marriage.”

“But she was still a part of the family when the will was written-“

“Doesn’t matter,” Amelia said with a shake of her head. “The person has to be in good standing after the will has been read and executed.”

Albus brightened. “Well then, I will talk to Andromeda and Nymphadora. Surely they will see-“

“That you’re trying to get them thrown out of the family again,” Amelia interrupted.

“I don’t follow”

Amelia sighed. “Albus they were reinstated in the family by the will. If they help you overturn it, that reinstatement goes away. As they have to do this of their own free will while being scanned for compulsions, I really don’t see that happening. No, there is only one person whose standing in the house would remain unchanged by the will being overturned and that is Mr. Potter himself.”

Albus blinked. “How is that possible? Harry’s a Potter not a Black.”

“Except that his paternal grandmother, Dorea, was a Black and the previous Lord Black, Pollux, set the descent of the lordship from himself through Sirius and to Harry, Sirius’ godson. Therefore, no matter what you do Harry will become Lord Black on his sixteenth birthday along with Lord Potter and Lord Aucoin. Personally, I agree with Sirius in that a month won’t make that much difference. Now if you’d like to talk about actual atrocities...” Amelia left the sentence dangling as she picked up a manilla envelope. “Care to guess what I have in here, Albus?”

Albus looked at the envelope with no small bit of trepidation. “I think I have imposed upon your busy schedule enough for one day, Madam Bones. Perhaps another time.”  
Amelia waited until Albus was well out her door before pulling out her latest guilty pleasure. Opening her copy of My Two Knuts she continued reading where she left off. “Huh, I always thought Lupin was a little light in the loafers,” she muttered to herself.

***

Harry woke to the sound of pounding from somewhere nearby, thankful that it wasn’t coming from his head. After all the stories he’d heard from Sirius and Remus he half expected epic level pain from just one sip. Happy he had found at least a rudimentary level of drinking without consequences he concentrated on the source of the noise. Not the naked redhead on the right nor the naked blond on the left. The pounding started again. Ah, the door then. The next hurdle was extracting himself from said redhead and blond. Not an easy feat when limbs were tangled as they were. After a bit of prodding and an unrepentant tickle here and there he was finally able to crawl off the end of the bed and locate his jeans from the night before.

“I’m going to strangle whomever has managed to get me out of that bed,” he groused as he cast a longing look back at the tangled sheets. He let out a groan as the two temptresses seemed to gravitate towards one another and cuddle in for more sleep. “Yep, definitely their worst morning ever.”

As the pounding started up again for the third time, Harry growled and stalked towards the door. Grasping the knob, he jerked the door open with a thorough tongue-lashing ready to find...”Fleur?”

“Don’t ‘Fleur’ me,” she snapped. “Have you read that letter yet? How dare you leave England like that without even talking to me first. Of all the inconsiderate men in my life you, Harry James Potter take the prize!” She then stormed past him into the room.

Still dumbfounded that Fleur was actually in Las Vegas, Harry closed the door and turned to the witch who was now pacing across the small living area in the suite. “Um, Fleur, what are you doing here and where’s your accent?”

Fleur stopped pacing and glared at him. “I am in Las Vegas because my mother set up a marriage contract with your father before either of us were born. And what’s wrong with my accent?”

“Um, it’s American?” Harry said a bit timidly. When Fleur was angry, she was a bit scary. Kinda the same way a rampaging T-Rex is a bit dangerous. Then the first part of what she said clicked into place. “Wait, marriage contract? What marriage contract?”

“You haven’t read your letter from Sirius, have you?”

Harry scrubbed at the back of his neck. “I’ve been a bit...busy. And it’s more than any bloody letter. When the sizing charm wore off it was the size of a large hat box!”

Fleur’s anger seemed to abate a bit at learning that Harry hadn’t just run off to avoid her. “Well, let’s see how he decided to break the news to you, shall we?”

“Sure. It’s on the dresser in the bedroom. I’ll just go-“ he started but was interrupted by Fleur rushing past him into said room. “Ah hell. Just when I got her calmed down a bit.” Harry rushed into the room after her only to have to pull up short where she had stopped just inside the door staring at the bed.

“Harry?”

“Yes, Fleur?”

“Explain?”

“I was trying to do as Sirius asked and enjoy myself for once?”

“Two women?”

“Yes?”

“Do you have some super hero fetish?”

“No, that’s Cassie and Kim from the will reading.”

Fleur shook her head. “Is that the box across the room?” At Harry’s affirmative answer she levitated it over and turned to face him. “Why don’t we take this in the other room and I’ll tell you a bit more about your companions.”

A few minutes later Harry was once again dumbfounded. “So wait, let me get this straight. I’ve just spent the last three days partying with and shagging Wonder Girl and the American female James Bond?”

“Yes,” Fleur said with a slight smirk. Her face turned thoughtful for a moment. “And you’ve been keeping up with them?”

It was Harry’s turn to smirk. “Who’s still asleep?”

“Harry? Where’d you go?” a sleepy, confused voice said from the bedroom.

“In here love,” Harry answered without looking away from Fleur. “Why don’t you and Kim get dressed? We have a visitor.” He raised an eyebrow at Fleur. “You still haven’t explained about your accent.”

Fleur waved it off. “That was just so Madam Maxime could save face. I was raised in New York but transferred from Salem to Beaubatons for my last two years. It just wouldn’t be right if the French school champion didn’t have a classic French accent.”

Harry looked even more confused. “You were raised in New York?”

“Yes, from the time I was five. My father is the Magical Ambassador to the United Nations for France.”

“Don’t you mean the ICW?”

Fleur snorted. “Those pompous old windbags just wish they were important. They’re really just a hold over from Victorian politics. The real power is in the Magical UN. Of course, those ambassadors are chosen by the Muggle government. Even Britain has an ambassador to the UN.”

“Who?” Harry asked in shock.

“John Constantine,” Cassie answered as she walked in. “The most chauvinistic, egotistical, self-righteous prick I’ve ever met.”

Fleur rolled her eyes. “I take it he’s hit on you too?”

Cassie quirked an eyebrow. “I’ve got tits and no dick, don’t I?”

Kim walked in behind Cassie. “Last time I checked which was less than two minutes ago.” She cast a glare at Harry. “Not the best surprise to go to kiss the boy you went to sleep with and find the girl that was on his other side.”

“Well, one of us had to get up before she-“ Harry jerked his thumb at Fleur, “got us all thrown out for making too much noise and you two weren’t budging.” As the girls settled beside him on the couch he turned back to Fleur. “Now, you yelled something about a marriage contract and the stuff that Sirius left me.”

“I’m sure it’s in that letter somewhere as big as it is,” Fleur said while giving the box an apprehensive glance. “Though it’ll likely take us the rest of the day to go through it.”

“Well, let’s see it then,” Harry offered as he opened the top of the box. Inside he did find a letter, but rather smaller than expected. The bulk of the box was taken up by a stone basin filled with silvery strands. “Oh bloody hell,” he muttered. “A pensieve.”

***

Tonks took a deep breath before ringing the bell at the Grangers Crawley home. A thousand speeches and explanations as to her presence ran through her mind before the door opened to reveal Hermione...in a dressing robe that stopped mid thigh...and apparently not much else.

“Tonks,” Hermione said with a smile, “Would you like to come in?”

Tonks swallowed and nodded. “Uh yeah. I’ll uh just wait in the living room.”

“Don’t be silly,” Hermione said as she took Tonks’ hand and led her up the stairs. “No one’s at home and I fear you’d be dreadfully bored.”

“Right,” Tonks mumbled, fighting the temptation of looking up the dressing robe as she ascended the stairs. “Wouldn’t want to be bored. So, what are your plans for the summer?”

“Hadn’t really thought about it,” Hermione responded as she led Tonks into her room. “Probably a lot of studying since I can’t do much else. You?”

“Well, I had a couple ideas.” Tonks took a breath as she pulled a piece of parchment out of her pocket and handed it to Hermione. “I got you this for the summer. It’s a waiver for the restriction on underage magic so you’ll be able to train over the summer.”

Hermione looked at the paper for a full second before slowly taking it from Tonks. “Nym...I don’t know what to say...Thank you seems really insignificant right now.” She closed the distance between her and Tonks and delivered a soft kiss on the other woman’s lips. “You’ll help me train right? Show me what I’m doing wrong?”   
Tonks fought to suppress a shudder of pleasure at the kiss and the realization that Hermione wasn’t wearing a bra under the robe. “Uh sure. On a completely unrelated note, when are we going to meet your...um...”

Hermione gave Tonks a playful smile. “Friends? Unfortunately, we’re not. They have a couple family functions to deal with in India and won’t be back until almost time to return to school.”

Tonks let out a groan of frustration. “Of course.” She then stiffened as she felt Hermione’s lips at the hollow of her throat.

“However,” Hermione all but purred, “they did give me permission to play so long as my new playmate understood that I was still spoken for and this was not yet a permanent situation.” She looked up at Tonks face. “Are those terms agreeable to you?”

“Wha huh?”

Hermione stepped back a little bit and fiddled with the belt of her robe. “In short, you and I would be a summer romance with the option of it being more permanent come September first when we meet up with Padma and Parvati. It seems they have some things to work out with their families as well over the summer. So I guess I need to ask if that is alright with you.”

Tonks looked at her. “You want me to be your summer fling.”

“Want is not the word I’d choose,” Hermione admitted. “Mainly because right now, I’d rather something a little more...Oh why couldn’t you have at least hit on me last summer so I’d have had a bit of a clue. Or Christmas hols. I didn’t even hook up with them until after then.”

Tonks raised an eyebrow. “Hook-up?”

Hermione blushed. “That’s all it was supposed to be, just a little fling to take the edge off. Then I’d get my courage up and go after the one I wanted. How was I to know that they’d double team me and...” Hermione shuddered in pleasure before trying to look back at Tonks. “So no, what I want is something a bit more permanent but at this point am willing to take what I can get. How about you?”

Tonks looked a bit thoughtful before replying. “I’d say this makes us take it a day at a time and see if we really can work as something more than friends. Now how about you finish getting dressed so I can take you out for a bite to eat?”

Hermione coyly bit her lip and turned her back to Tonks. “Actually, I was going to take a shower before you showed up.” With that, she undid the belt and let the robe fall to pool around her feet and giving Tonks a completely unimpeded view of her nude body. She then turned her head to look over her shoulder. “Would you care to join me?”

Tonks gaped and stammered as Hermione casually walked into her bathroom and turned the shower on. 

***

After the oh-so-helpful letter of “It’s easier just to show you so jump in!” Harry sat staring at the pensieve. “Apparently it’s a memory to explain everything,” he said to the others.  
“How does it work?” Kim asked. “I mean, is it just for magicals or can anyone use it?”

Fleur took up the explanation. “The magic of the basin pulls your consciousness into a copy of a memory that is stored within. That’s the silvery strands you see. While there it seems like you’re really in the memory but can’t interact with anyone or anything. It could be compared with a holodeck from Star Trek.”

Harry looked at the somewhat excited faces on the two girls. “I take it the two of you want to go with?” At their nods he continued. “Very well. I think you should join us, Fleur. I’m sure there are things I’ll need some explanations for.”

Fleur nodded. “Alright. Everyone place a finger in the bowl and I’ll activate the runes.” When everyone was ready she tapped the rim of the basin and the memory started.  
Harry marveled as he saw his mother, father and godfather fade into reality. They were seated in a somewhat Victorian dining room. Of course it was only considered “somewhat” due to the fact that Harry was certain that a Barbarella poster and the rather modern looking record player were not part of the original decor. On the table in the center of the room was a slowly pulsing blue-green crystal.

“Sirius Black,” scolded Lily, bringing everyone to attention. “Would you please quit ogling Jane Fonda’s breasts so we can get this done?”

The image of Sirius looked abashed as he came around and took a seat to Lily’s right. “Right, let’s call this meeting of the I hate Albus Dumbledore brach of the Order of the Phoenix to order. As chief instigator and lead torturer, Lily you have the chair.”

Lily quirked an eyebrow. “You forgot sexy goddess of pain and death.”

“I thought that went without saying,” quipped Sirius before getting a stinging hex to the groin and falling over with a girly squeak. 

James rolled his eyes from where he was sitting on Lily’s left. “Padfoot, it is always wise to praise a goddess with all her titles. Or any woman for that matter. Now my sexy goddess of pain, death and melting me to goo with but a look, can we continue with our business?”

Lily shrugged un-apologetically and Sirius hopped back up.

“Does that mean we can sing the group song?” Sirius asked

“You came up with a song?” Lily countered.

Sirius blushed a bit. “Well mostly. It goes Al’s an arsehole, Al’s an arsehole, Al’s an arsehole, and Abe likes boobs and beer.”

Lily looked thoughtful for a moment before responding. “Change boobs to goats and you’ll have it right.”

Fleur leaned towards Harry. “Harry? I think your parents were insane.”

Harry cocked an eyebrow at Fleur. “You’re just now figuring this out? I was convinced when I found out he was named my godfather.” Harry punctuated his statement with a jerk of his thumb at Sirius.

James held up his hands. “Can we please just get to the matter at hand?”

Sirius glanced at him before leaning over to Lily. “He’s more um...what’s the word?”

“Serious?” Lily offered.

“No that’s me,” the dogfather replied with a grin before dodging another stinging hex. “Damn it woman! Would you quit doing that!”

“No,” Lily responded before turning back to James. “Now James, speak clearly into the memory crystal and explain to our son how you and the dimmer of the idiots grim have thoroughly screwed his future love life.”

“Now that’s harsh,” James protested weakly. “Some would say that I may have helped after a fashion.”

“Who?” Sirius and Lily asked in unison with equally incredulous glares.

James had the grace to look abashed. “Alright, no one we’d consider a good and moral person, but there are people all the same.” He then looked forward and stared hard at the crystal. “My son, Padfoot and I start this project with some concern, and I hope one of us is there to explain it to you when the time comes. As Sirius is sure he will never sire a child and has insisted on making you his heir, your life is about to become quite complicated. I’m afraid that my family is also partly to blame for this.”

“Gee,” Lily muttered, “you think.”

James scowled. “Lily, please. This is hard enough. To speed the process along, we are using a dictation quill and a spell that will allow us to update this from time to time as needed. First, let me say that no matter what you may have done, I am very proud of you. I hope at the end of this letter, you may at least be forgiving of me.”

He then stood and began pacing. “First I must explain a little bit of my family’s history. Nothing boring really. You see, the Potters had accidentally gotten involved in a bit of a blood feud with a rival European clan in about the eighteenth century. Over the next couple hundred years we popped each other off when given the opportunity and generally created scenes at parties both families were invited to. My father finally negotiated a peace with the head of the rival family but was reluctant to say how. That was until your mother and I eloped and bonded.” 

“Best Spring break ever,” Lily swooned. “Mooney made such a cute flower girl.”

“I was the best man of course,” Sirius admitted proudly. “Course the Maid of Honor tried to hex me.”

“Alice was already engaged to Frank,” James reminded him. “You’re lucky he didn’t kill you for grabbing her arse. Just like I’m lucky that reparo can fix a broken bed. Can I continue now?”

“Please do,” Lily snarked.

James sighed and returned to pacing. “It was then that my father admitted to arranging a marriage between myself and the rival’s daughter. Well, needless to say there was a shouting match and the end result being Padfoot and I having to make a trip to France to try to fix the situation. Given the situation, everyone involved thought it best for Lily to stay behind.”

“Fear I’d kill the tramp might have had something to do with it,” Lily muttered and crossed her arms.

James chuckled. “As luck had it, my would be wife was actually relieved that I had already married because she was in love as well, not to mention several weeks in the family way, and this freed her to marry. The Patriarch however was a staunch traditionalist and demanded that there be a union between our two houses. Furthermore, He made us pledge a wizards oath that my son would marry her daughter. It pains me to say this son, but you’re engaged to be married to a woman you likely never met.”

Sirius spoke up. “Her name is Fleur Delacour. Adorable little chit. ”

Harry looked at Fleur. “So technically this is the patriarch of your mother’s family’s fault.”

Fleur shrugged. “Granpapa was always a bit of a prick.”

James turned to look in Harry’s direction and tried to smile reassuringly. “Now before you get hysterical, there were several contingencies put in place by both the lady and myself. Both families’ properties and titles would be considered separate. You would not be able to accept the position of Lord Delacour, nor would she be able to be Lady Potter. You would also both be allowed to wed another spouse to hold these titles as this was a purely political marriage. It would be between the two of you as to whether any children would be named Delacour or Potter. The problem is that this would have to be your first marriage.”

Harry and Fleur both started. “First marriage?”

Sirius groaned from his seat. “Here’s where my mess buggers everything up. I am leaving you as the sole heir of the Black family fortune and the title of Lord Black. To fully claim the title, you will have to wed a Pureblood woman from a strong wizarding family. Unfortunately, my bigoted family history defines pureblood so stringently that Miss Delacour doesn’t count as her grand mum was a Veela. Luckily for you, there are several marriage contracts that have been offered by pureblood families that would qualify. I would go through these as quick as possible, as they have to be responded to before your seventeenth birthday or you will have to pay a penalty to the family.”

Harry sighed. “Great, that means I have to marry two women that I know next to nothing about.”

James snapped his fingers and resumed pacing. “Right, so that’s three women you have to marry.”

This time all four visitor blinked. “Huh?”

Lily snorted. “James, you said that wrong.”

James blinked and looked at his wife. “What?” 

“The part where Harry could choose to have another spouse in the marriage contract.”

James groaned. “I did? Oh hell. What I meant to say is that you have to marry a woman to be Lady Potter. And due to some obscure law, it must be different than your Lady Black. So we are up to now three women you have to marry. Did I get it right that time?”

“Unfortunately,” Lily sighed.

Harry started whimpering. “Three wives? How the heck am I supposed to keep up with three women?”

Kim and Cassie looked at each other briefly before turning back to Harry. “I don’t see that as a problem,” Kim muttered.

“Might be a bit of a relief actually,” Cassie added.

“Can we get on with the rest of my family’s mess?” whined Sirius. 

Lily growled. “Of Course, Padfoot. Let’s leave my son a drooling idiot.”

“Lily,” James consoled, “Harry needs to know what he’s in for. Even if he gives up the titles there will be penalties that could bankrupt even him. In fact, I think that was Albus’ idea.”

Sirius snorted. “Yeah, accidentally sterilizing me. Arranging James and me getting that hereditary title. And let’s not forget how much we paid into the order. I doubt anyone else contributes that much.”

Harry blinked. His father and Padfoot paid to be in the Order of the Phoenix. That didn’t sound right. Something kept compelling him to continue. He had to know all that was going on. He knew this was important and his future was hanging in this memory.

James pinched the bridge of his nose. “Right. Continue Padfoot.”

“And the plot sickens,” Lily groused.

Sirius gave Lily a gimlet glare before smiling in Harry’s direction. “Alright, now as you heard your father got another hereditary title thanks to Dumbledore. I’m sure it was to insure that one of his little social engineering projects-“

”Weasleys!” Lily shouted interrupting him.

“Jones!” James countered.

“-could sink their claws into your family fortune,” Sirius continued, ignoring the bickering couple. “What he didn’t count on was that I made you the heir to the Black family. Let me explain. The Black family takes a dim view on any contrivances to ensnare a man. Something both Molly Weasley and Matriarch Jones did to snare their husbands. So even though you’ll be required to marry a fourth wife, it can’t be from either family due to their history of manufactured love. Not that the Blacks really care about love. Marriage is a business relationship to them, albeit one with lots of sex.”

Everything went silent as James and Sirius glanced at Lily. “What?” she asked after a minute. “You were doing well enough. Best to just finish it.”

“Finish what?” Harry asked. “They’ve already said I have to marry four women, which I might add may not even be legal.”

“It is in the Magical world,” Fleur answered. “We’re a couple centuries behind the muggle world on that one.”

“Not everywhere,” Kim added with a frown. “I went to this town in east Asia one time and almost ended up married against my will to a man my grandmother’s age. I was to be his sixth wife.”

“That’s why you’re banned in the Aziri Emirate,” Cassie said in comprehension.

“Damn straight,” Kim huffed.

James blushed. “Um well, we were hoping...”

Sirius matched his brother in all but blood. “Well yeah, considering your strong feelings on the subject...”

Lily was instantly on her feet. “YOU WANT ME TO TELL MY SON HE SHOULD HIRE A WHORE!”

Once again all four observers were instantly drawn back to the scene “What!”

James winced. “Not exactly how I’d put it.”

Lily did her best to calm herself before speaking. “We are so having a long talk after this James Charlus Potter. And don’t even think of hiding behind the mangy mutt. He should go out and try to find Remus a nice boy to drag the poor dear out of the closet.” She cleared her throat and looked in Harry’s direction. “What your cowardly father and godfather want me to tell you is that it is quite likely that you have never had what Muggles call ‘the talk’. Now, your father explained to me on our wedding night that pure-blood tradition is for the father to take his son to a brothel on his fifteenth birthday. Of course this led to me dragging him to a Muggle doctor and having him tested. 

“I hope to God, Merlin and all else that is holy that Sirius hasn’t followed tradition and actually given you a frank discussion about sex or broken down and asked one of the Muggleborn men he knows to do it.” She sighed and sat back down. “More likely, you’ll have to either approach Professor Flitwick as the most sensible of all the Hogwarts staff or if he’s finally come to his senses, Severus Snape. I happen to know that my father said he gave him the talk when his father was proven to be a worthless waste.”

Kim giggled. “Trust me Harry, you don’t need the talk.”

“Not at all,” Cassie confirmed. “You definitely know what you’re doing.”

Harry shrugged and blushed. “Well actually, Mr. Weasley sat me and Ron down just before last year. It was informative but dead embarrassing.” His face turned thoughtful after a second. “Though I think I will ask Snape about it.”

Fleur looked at him questioningly. “Professor Snape? The greasy haired potions professor?”

“One in the slimy same,” Harry replied.

“Merlin Why?”

Harry grinned. “Can you imagine his reaction to me saying my mum wanted him to give me the talk?”

***

Neville stood in the Great Hall of Longbottom Manor staring at the family coat of arms. The white fist with the fore and middle finger extended on a deep crimson field confused him when he was a boy along with the family motto of Damn it Potter. That was until he met Harry Potter. Neville fingered his new cherry and unicorn hair wand as he thought back to first year as he was frozen, staring up at the ceiling until Fred and George Weasley found him the next morning. He lifted his arm and pointed ahead as he thought to the Cornish Pixies and Harry trying not to laugh as he helped him up after falling from the chandelier. He focused all of his concentration on facing Snape in third year, then the Yule Ball, then the DA and finally the battle in the Department of Mysteries. With a cry of “Expecto Patronum!” a white lion fully the size of the young man leapt out of his wand.  
Yes, now Neville understood the family motto. Every member of his family had to have said it some time in their lives. Damn it Potter, why do you get us in this much shite and why is it such a rush going through it with you? He laughed as he led the lion patronus running around the hall and was startled as the main door opened and his great uncle Algie came walking into the room...only to be pounced by the lion.

“Oh bloody hell,” Neville shouted as the patronus faded. “Uncle Algie! I’m sorry. I didn’t think anyone was going to be home for a bit.”

A very pale Algernon Croaker looked at his nephew. “Was that a fully corporeal Patronus?”

Neville blushed. “Um..yes sir.”

“Cast by you?”

“Yes sir.”

Algernon looked at Neville as if it really was for the first time. “You can cast a fully corporeal Patronus.”

“W-well it’s not that big a deal,” Neville stammered. “Others in my class can do it too.”

“Whom may I ask?”

“Um...Hermione Granger, Ron Weasley, Ron’s sister Ginny, Luna Lovegood and of course Harry Potter.”

“And who taught you? Obviously not that Umbridge harridan.”

“Uh no. Harry taught us all. He pretty much taught defense to everyone fourth year and up...well except for the Slytherins.”

“Interesting,” Algernon whispered before he caught on to something. “Those names, they were the people with you in my department for that little scuffle.”

“Um..yes sir.” Neville thought furiously trying to find a way to keep his friends out of trouble. “The Death Eaters did most of the damage. My friends and I mostly fire stunners.”

Algernon glared at his nephew. “You are the scion of the house of Longbottom. From now on you will not hold back. You see a Death Eater in combat, the weakest spell I want to hear you casting is reducto. Am I understood?”

Neville swallowed and nodded.

Algernon then strode over to the crest and tapped the center of it with his wand. A small niche appeared and Algernon took something out of it before returning to his nephew. “You’ll be needing this,” the aging unspeakable whispered reverently as he placed the object in Neville’s hand.

Neville found himself looking down at the Family ring in his hand. He looked at his great uncle in confusion.

“We are at war,” Algernon said without remorse. “Your father is in no shape to lead your family and your Gran, my sister, is far too old. War is a folly caused by the old and waged by the young. You and Lord Potter need to stand, but as equals. That’s how it’s always been and how it will always be. Will you stand by your brother?”

Neville looked down at the ring again before putting it on. It instantly sized to fit and glowed with a golden glow. “My place is at my brothers side,” he said with more courage than he realized he had. “My place is at the vanguard, leading the charge with my brother at my side.” The glow brightened and covered his body. “My place is to look those bastards in the eye and watch as they piss themselves from fear of what we’ll do to them.” The glow became almost white as it suffused his entire body. “This I swear as the Longbottom of Longbottom!”

A loud bell rang thirteen times as the flash suffused the entirety of the room. As their vision cleared, Algernon was treated to a calmer and more confident Neville. Though he hadn’t changed physically, one would be hard pressed to recognize the Neville of a year ago in the young man that now stood in front of the Unspeakable. Before either could comment, the floo came to life with the shout of “Attack on Bones Manor!” 

Algernon turned and shouted back. “Get a team of Unspeakables to assist Lady Bones Auror guard.”

“Get him out of the floo Uncle Algie,” Neville said as he made his way forward. “Longbottom Manor and Bones Manor have always had a hard connection. Tell Gran not to wait up.”   
The floo was only clear for a second before Neville was tossing in floo powder and shouting “Suzie’s Playroom!”

As the young man disappeared, apparently off to war, Algernon couldn’t help but be a little proud. Little did he realize that far away on a bed in Saint Mungo’s a similar pride was being felt by an otherwise unresponsive Frank Longbottom who quietly passed away.

***

Ginny Weasley came out of the most recent memory unsure as to whether she should be aroused or terrified. The fact that she was currently both unnerved her more than a little. Watching a younger and fitter Sirius Black being taught to take down multiple opponents without being seen or hurt was in a word impressive. It was also rather hot as the younger Sirius has a body to rival some of the best athletes of today. She glanced up at the picture of a shirtless Oliver Wood that Colin had snapped for her and now suddenly realized that he wasn’t quite as attractive as he once was.

She returned the memory back to its vial and took out the next one. According to the journal, it was a confessional. This made her smile, as the last confessional had been an especially humorous account of Sirius making everyone believe that professor Lupin was gay when they were in school in retaliation for coming between Sirius and a sixth year Slytherin Prefect just before Sirius could seal the deal. She poured the memory in the vial and entered the pensieve.

The scene was a familiar one with Sirius sitting and staring at a mirror. This wasn’t a young and determined Sirius, but a slightly older and more haunted young man. “Today my life changed forever,” he whispered at the mirror. “Today I turned my back on my family to do what I must. My mother was pushing for my brother and I to join the Dark Lord and my father, coward that he is, did nothing to stop her. I...I’d like to say that I’m not a violent man, but that would be a lie. From the time I was six, all I’ve ever known was violence.   
“There isn’t supposed to be regret in our actions, so why am I regretting what I did? I mean she was wanting us to become foresworn against our brothers in the House of Potter. It didn’t matter that it was a secret alliance. It’s an alliance all the same. But still I...I hit her. I hit a woman in rage and I hope that I never do again. Father sent me out of the house and I remember running to grandfather to confess. He told me that I did the right thing. Can you believe that? Hitting a woman being the right thing, let alone your own mother?

“I didn’t know what to make of that, so I left and went to the ones that I truly respected. The Potter’s took me in and I confessed everything to Charlus: who I was, what I did, even this last atrocity. He stood there like some father confessor and let me unburden my soul. He then flooed my grandfather and reamed him for a good twenty minutes before telling him in no uncertain terms that I was never going back to my parents. 

“Afterward, he had me explain everything to Prongs, even why I tried to have Snivelus killed. He was stricken by what he heard, but in the end he told me that he never wanted a shadow only a friend. I told him that I was his friend, that I never wanted to be anything else. He only nodded and went back to his room. It’s been two days and the only time I’ve seen Prongs was when he flooed out to Moony’s for a couple hours. I’m afraid I may have lost my best friend.”

Ginny came out of the pensieve shaking. She was barely able to return the memory to its vial and stow everything away before she went down to the kitchen and poured herself some tea. After dashing off a letter asking for an appointment with the mind healer mentioned in Sirius’ book and sending it off with Pig, she sat at the table and let her thoughts drift.

She was certain that was the time that Sirius had called the best in his life, though it didn’t seem that in the memory. She also thought about how Harry might react to her doing something similar. How would he feel about her feeding Draco to a werewolf or other dangerous creature on his behalf? How would he take her destroying peoples lives or even killing them outright in his service. Would they still be friends? Would he be able to see her as the shy little girl that he’s likely thought of as a sister. 

Ginny snorted. Alright, annoying and scary girl that he thought of as a sister maybe, She thought to herself. Shy? Not bloody likely. Especially since he knows about me snogging Michael Corner and Dean Thomas. That thought brought up the realization that she should probably break it off with Dean. The pensieve had shown her one thing at least. She wanted men of action, not sensitive artists. Perhaps she can set him up with Lavender Brown...or Seamus. The thought had her giggling for a bit before she returned to brooding over her current conundrum.

She was still brooding a bit when her brother Bill came in from work. The eldest Weasley brother looked at his sister and frowned. “Something wrong Ginny?”

The girl looked at her brother and gave him a faint smile. “It’s just something to do with what Sirius left me. I can’t go in to all of it, but he made me promise to do something and I don’t think I’m fully able to do it.”

“He didn’t ask you to kiss Harry did he?” Bill asked with a laugh.

“No,” Ginny said with a laugh. “That’d be more like kissing you at this point. Like I said, I really can’t go in to it.”

“Come on Ginny,” Bill laughed. “It’s Sirius. How bad could it be?”

Ginny squirmed a bit. “It’s a bit of a Black family obligation that he asked me to take up.”

Bill shot her a concerned glance. “It’s nothing dark, is it?”

Ginny was thoughtful before answering. “Not dark, possibly immoral. Still, he thought I’d be the best choice.”

“Why’s that?”

“Because I know Him better than anybody else,” Ginny muttered to herself without thinking.

Bill stopped, stared briefly at Ginny then slammed his fist against the table and jumped up to begin pacing. “That bloody bastard! How could he do this! I knew he shouldn’t be left alone in a house full of women!” he spun back to Ginny. “Does dad know about this?”

Ginny blinked and looked at Bill in confusion. “Know about what?”

“You and Black!” Bill demanded.

“Me and...” Ginny’s eyes widened as she realized what Bill was suggesting. “Bill Weasley! He was old enough to be my father! Ew!”

“But you just said you knew him better than anyone!”

“I wasn’t talking about Sirius! I was-“ She quickly stopped talking. “Look Bill I already said more than I should. In fact I really shouldn’t be talking about this at all.”

Bill sighed. “Ginny, you’re not really making me feel better about this. I mean, it’s not like he asked you to kill anybody right?” 

Ginny winced. “Bill please, I can’t talk about it.”

Bill paled. “He did. He asked you to kill someone. Who was it? You said someone you know...Oh Merlin, he asked you to kill Ron.”

Ginny gaped. “How are you able to survive the goblins with these leaps of logic?”

“What else am I supposed to think?” Bill huffed. “You’re not giving me much to go on here.”

Ginny rolled her eyes and groaned. “Fine! I want an oath.”

“An oath!” Bill shouted. “I’m your brother!”

“Exactly,” Ginny shot back. “I need to make sure you won’t run off and tell the goblins or worse, Dad.”

Bill scowled and pulled out his wand. “I, William Arthur Weasley, do swear on my magic to keep all secrets told to me by Ginevra Molly Weasley in confidence and not repeat them without her permission.” a quick flash confirmed the oath had been sealed. “Happy?”

Ginny snorted. “Definitely more than I was looking for, but you better believe I’m going to exploit it for all it’s worth.”

Bill rolled his eyes. “I did it so you can come to me when you need help, not so you can keep out of trouble for pranking. Now what is this all about?”

Ginny glanced at the door, then the clock before turning back to Bill. “Do you know what a Shadow is when it comes to the noble houses?”

“Of course I do.” Bill said with annoyance. “They’re the problem solvers for the noble houses no matter how unsavory...” Bill’s eyes widened with understanding. “Oh Ginny.”

“The Blacks were the Shadows for the Potters,” Ginny plowed on without stopping. “Sirius was James’ Shadow and he asked me to be Harry’s shadow.”

“Why?”

Ginny shrugged. “Because I know him better than anybody else.”

Bill shook his head in exasperation. “Ginny, I know you think you know Harry but-“

“Not Harry,” Ginny interrupted. “Tom Riddle.”

“Who?”

“You’d know him better as Voldemort.”

Bill was pale again. “How do you know Voldemort?”

“Who do you think was poking around in my head first year?” She asked casually. “He possessed me to open the Chamber of Secrets and tried to use my magic to resurrect himself. All the time, he taunted me and tried to use me to kill all those people. I know how he thinks. I know that deep down he’s just a greedy little child that wants to hurt others to get what he wants. He’s not going to stop until someone stops him. Dumbledore can’t see that because he believes everyone can be redeemed. Harry’s not as optimistic as Dumbledore, but there are things that he’s not going to be willing to do to bring Voldemort down. Things that have to be done. I’m not thrilled with them, but I know they have to be done.”

“What kinds of things?” Bill asked, afraid of the answer.

Ginny sighed. “There’s too much corruption in the Ministry, Death Eaters on the Wizengammot, bribes flying around like paper airplanes, and murderers walking the streets with impunity. I’m not stupid enough to think that I’m going to clean it all up tomorrow, but someone needs to start cleaning it up and I know where to strike so that our corrupt politicians can do what they’re best at.”

Bill looked at her incredulously. “What corrupt politicians? We don’t work with corrupt politicians.”

Ginny snorted. “Again, your survival with the goblins mystifies me. Albus Dumbledore, Daedelus Diggle and Amos Diggory all three spread galleons for votes as a matter of course and Kingsley Shacklebolt and Hestia Jones are both angling for a promotion. I think you, dad, Charlie and Tonks are the only ones that don’t have an agenda.”

“What about Remus?”

Ginny shrugged. “I think he’s just there to pick up dudes.”

“Remus is gay?”

Ginny looked at him in shock. “You didn’t know?”

Bill stood up stonily and looked a little ill. “You gave me a lot to think about. I-I think I’m going to go lay down for a bit.”

Ginny smiled sadly as her brother headed upstairs and waited for him to close the door before she began her night’s mission. She saw on the clock where her father had left his office and was now at Longbottom Manor for some reason which would allow her to slip into the ministry and procure something that hadn’t come with Sirius’ care package: information. Namely, up to date information on certain key players that Sirius identified from the last war that were still around.

She briefly regretted doing what she did to Remus, but it was right in the end. After all, one does not just forgive a cockblocker.

***  
Severus Snape scowled at the letter that had been tormenting him for the last three days. Since his ejection from Malfoy Manor, the potions master had holed up inside his manor at Spinner’s End. From the outside it looked to be nothing more than a series of rundown shacks, but once inside one would be treated to a rather expansive and tastefully (albeit modern) decorated manor. Of course that would be assuming that anyone would ever be invited in the first place. Still with all this room to wander around, including the indoor alchemist’s garden, he was still not able to avoid that accursed letter for any significant length of time.

Finally he had given up on ignoring the mutt’s final words to him and opened the letter. Inside was a single page of vellum with Black’s scrawling handwriting filling every inch of it. Ready to dismiss it as more of the Marauder’s disparaging monologue, he never less read the missive from one of his greatest enemies.

Severus,  
I leave this missive for you not at my own choice but at Lily’s request. She always believed that you would someday be redeemed from your wicked ways (of course she called them foolish transgressions) and would use your talents to help others. In that hope, just before they went into hiding I was given a chest filled with Lily’s notes on a variety of projects that she was certain you would be able to finish. She put a charm on each that would make them completely unreadable unless you were truly committed to helping people and you know how she was with charms. Since I am pants at potions I never bothered to look but she did tell me one of the projects was a step in the path to curing Lycanthropy.

If you wish for this trove of knowledge you have only to head to the Marauders old haunt and look behind the painting of our favorite Scottish Harpy. Thus my last good deed done, I bid you farewell and remember James not too unkindly. I doubt he thought much of you beyond our school days.  
Sirius

Severus growled and was tempted to blast the paper into confetti, even though it held the key to a priceless treasure of knowledge. They were always so convinced that he was in love with Lily and tried to twist it into something sick and depraved. She was like a sister to him, and he more a sibling than that blasted Petunia Evans. When he found that Potter had been left with the psychopathic bitch and her sadist husband last summer, he had almost started slinging hexes at Albus himself.

If it wasn’t for the fact that he had to keep his cover, Severus would have spirited the boy away that instant. He continually found his illusions stripped away the entirety of the following year with the headmaster insisting that Harry’s rather formidable defenses be brought down for some reason and Severus was fed indignity after indignity that the boy was exposed to over his short life during “Occlumency Lessons”. It bewildered the potions master how Mark Evans’ daughter could treat her own flesh and blood worse than Severus’ own father had treated him. It was a relief when the boy had looked in the pensieve and gave Severus an excuse for ending the so-called lessons. 

Now, he was presented with an opportunity to atone in some way, all he had to do was take it. Damn Black, Severus thought bitterly. Why did he have to be so insufferably infuriating? And how can a man who spent twelve years in Azkaban still look so damn hot?

***

Luna had finished packing her room up in crates and was in the process of breaking down her father’s printing press when her father walked in. She looked expectantly at his confused face. The man was holding a sheaf of papers that undoubtably held the latest issue of the Quibbler, an issue that would never see print. He had been tirelessly working on the issue, so tirelessly that he never noticed Luna collecting all his books and putting them in storage. It broke her heart to see him like this, knowing that at one point he was a vibrant and brilliant journalist who had the great misfortune to cross Dolores Umbridge.

“Selene,” he finally asked his daughter, “what are you doing?”

Luna sighed sadly. “I’m Luna Daddy. Mommy has been gone for a long time. Remember the explosion? The toad woman?”

Her father just looked at her with the same blank uncomprehending stare that he had far too often as of late. Luna could feel her heart breaking as she looked into his vacant eyes. Finally unable to take it anymore, she called out to the one person she knew would be able to help her right now. “Dobby!”

The house elf appeared next to her with a pop. “Hows can Dobby be helping you Miss Loveygood?”

Luna smiled gently at Dobby and got down on her knees so she was facing the elf eye to eye. “Dobby, my father is very sick and needs to be taken to Saint Barnabas’. Can you do that for me?”

Dobby looked at the witch nervously. “But what about Miss Loveygood? Where will she be going when hers daddy is being at the hospital?”

Luna stroked Dobby’s head and gave the elf a gentle hug. “When you are done taking Daddy to Saint Barnabas’, I want you to come back here and help me finish packing. Then we’ll go to Harry and help him with his current mess. Understand?”

Dobby’s eyes widened and he nodded so fast that Luna was almost certain that his head would fall off. Without another word, the elf grabbed Luna’s father and disappeared with a pop.

Luna wiped the tears from her eyes and finished breaking down the press and wrapped it all for storage. All year, it had taken everything in her to keep from killing that toad for what she had done to her mother and father. It was that rage that had broken through the last blocks on Luna’s magic and gifts. It was that rage that had allowed her to see all that was really going on around her and ultimately see that she was to help Harry, her Harry, become a wizard not only powerful enough to defeat the two pretenders to the thrones of dark and light, but to bring the magical world kicking and screaming into the modern age. 

Ginny would be the knife in the dark. Hermione would be the advisor that would help organize his armies. Luna would be one of the queens at her lord’s side, guiding his hand and providing him with an heir to be proud of.

When Dobby returned, she had him start taking the crates to the Lovegood vault as she cleaned off the grime and thought about the next step in her plan. As the shower cascaded water down her body, she found her thoughts drifting over to what Harry would like to see her in. Perhaps a simple dress with a tasteful set of lingerie underneath it. Well, I have a couple days before we’ll actually be there, so I guess I could do some shopping before we meet up.

***

Meanwhile, just before the distress call came into Longbottom Manor, a young Death Eater was participating in his first ever raid. It’s not like he ever wanted to be a Death Eater. It was the simple fact that his father was a Death Eater, his grandfather served under Grindenwald, and several of his ancestors had each served under the Dark Lord of the day. So really, it was simply that he was carrying on with a family tradition. Many dark wizards considered his family a lucky charm. One simply could not start a dark empire without a Murphy at their side.

Now when we say that Murphy was somewhat reluctant, a clearer explanation would be to say that he joined the Death Eaters at wand point. His choice was join or death because he was the last Murphy available to join. The others had joined some other group that was far more violent and much more likely to get killed at any moment of the day or night. At least Voldemort provided his followers with emergency portkeys that would work through the wards he habitually put up around his target sites.

Also, this was a fairly easy raid in Murphy’s opinion. Word had it that they had two people on the inside. All they had to do was wait for the call signal and then they would rush in, throw up the dark mark and cart Madam Bones off to the Dark Lord for torture and various other evils. All was going according to plan.

Then they heard what could only be a war cry and the shouted orders of a general that would take no mercy on his enemy. “If you don’t start firing reductors I’ll kill you myself!” Suddenly this snatch and grab took on a much deadlier turn than it was supposed to. Murphy watched as several of his comrades who were much closer to the house were blown apart or cut apart before they could even bring up a shield. In a matter of moments Murphy saw a head flying towards him. Instinctually he caught it and looked down into the shocked, dead face of one of their Auror insiders. 

This has gone tits up, Murphy thought to himself as he activated his emergency portkey. He knew deep down that he should have never joined up with these unprofessional, self-righteous, over-confident buffoons. He would need to figure out a way to make himself more indispensable to the Dark Lord if he was going to be alive to celebrate Christmas with his new wife.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don't expect a regular schedule on any of my stories, because they are all in the process of being written.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> More fun with the crowd and Snape's battle of wits with a dead man continues.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If you don’t know that we don’t own any of this, then you seriously need to climb out from under a rock. This is just the random musings of a demented mind. No money is being made off of this so please do not attempt litigation as I don’t have any money to begin with. Also there are scenes in this story of an adult nature, including sex, violence, random drug use, Bawdy humor, and generally teens behaving badly. If this offends you then you might not want to read. If you are under an age where reading this kind of material is generally frowned on, please stop reading as I will not be held responsible for corrupting your mind...that is what school and your father’s porn stash are for.

Chapter 3

The quartet emerged from the pensieve and looked at each other. Harry coughed and tried to break the ice. “So what have we learned?”

“You have to wed four women,” Fleur began.

“The first one has to be Fleur here,” Cassie continued.

“You also have to marry a pureblood,” Kim added. “Whatever that is.”

“Wizarding aristocracy,” Fleur explained, “Only more inbred and less tolerable.”

“Ah.”

“You can’t trust the Weasley or Jones family,” Cassie continued on, trying to get the conversation back on track.

“Not entirely true,” Harry interjected. “I think I can trust Mr. Weasley, Bill, Ginny and the twins. Charlie is on the fence but Molly, Ron and Percy are definitely on the do not trust list.”

“Both your father and godfather both slept with prostitutes,” Kim added with a smirk.

Harry rolled his eyes in exasperation. “Not vital to know but still disturbing.”

Fleur tapped her lower lip in thought before responding. “Dumbledore owes you.”

This earned a grin from Harry. “You caught that to, eh. I wonder how much Dad and Padfoot bankrolled the Order. It might be a good idea to have the goblins audit my accounts to see how much money has been funneled into Dumbledore’s pockets.”

Fleur nodded in agreement. “I recommend the firm of Skinnem and Theilscream. They’re extremely effective in property and financial law. You might also want to see if your money was being funneled anywhere else.”

Harry nodded. “What else?”

Kim flopped down on the couch. “I’m not sure what you’re getting at Harry. There wasn’t a lot in there unless you’re talking about the stuff after your mom going off on your dad and Sirius. It was a lot of really technical talk that went over my head.”

“You’re right,” Harry agreed. “I’ll probably go over that with Hermione when I have a chance. I was referring to the Victorian decor. I think I’m going to have to talk to the goblins about what properties I own.”

“Regardless,” Cassie said without preamble, “We need to do some serious shopping.”

“Huh?” Harry responded intelligently. “Shopping?”

Cassie shook her head. “Harry, you need a tux. Fleur needs a wedding dress. Not to mention rings.”

“They’ll need witnesses too,” Kim jumped in. “We’re not old enough.”

“Right,” Cassie agreed. “I’m sure I can get Zatana on short notice since she has a show in town. I’m pretty sure I can serve as the other one since I’m eighteen. If not, there’s likely someone at the chapel that can serve as a witness.”

“Wait,” Harry cried out, “What are you talking about?”

Cassie and Kim looked at him. “Why, getting you and Fleur married,” Cassie said as if it were obvious.

“Now?” Harry choked out

“Well tonight,” Kim explained. “We do have quite a bit to get before you can make it official.”

“You can’t just get married on a moments notice!” Harry was beginning to hyperventilate at this point.

Kim snorted. “Harry, this is Vegas. You can get married to someone after only knowing them for an hour. Since Fleur has to be wife number one, why not get it out of the way.”

“But...but...What about the planning? Making it special?”

Fleur snorted at that. “I think I see where the girls are going with this, Harry. We’ll get the legalities out of the way and have a more formal ceremony for our friends and family later. This will also let me do things for you in the Muggle world since we’ll be ‘related’.”

Harry fidgeted and looked away. “What if I don’t want to get married right away? I mean you’re nice and all Fleur, but I hardly know you. I just had my first actual holiday ever and now you all want me to get married to a woman that I’ve said maybe thirty words to before this. Doesn’t that strike you as a bit extreme?”

Kim sat down next to Harry and hugged him. “No, it sounds like you’ve been given the short end of the stick and we’re just trying to make the best of this situation. You’re going to need all the help you can get and Cassie and I can’t be there for you. Fleur already has to marry you and you know she can take care of herself, right?”

Harry nodded. “You’re right. It’s just...I was hoping that I’d have a choice in who I married.”

Fleur kneeled down in front of him. “You will Harry,” she promised him. “I’ll make sure you are happy with who ever else you wed and our marriage can be as intimate or distant as you wish it. If you want, it can be nothing more than two names on a piece of paper.”

“No,” Harry said a little too intently. “I won’t have just a paper marriage. You’ll always be an equal in my house no matter what. You’re trapped in this as much as me. If we find that we can’t love each other, so be it. But you will always be respected in my family.”

Fleur smiled at that. “Will you do me the honor of being my husband, Harry?”

Harry blushed and nodded. “Um sure, if you’ll have me. I mean I’m nothing special.”

Kim scowled and slapped him on the back of the head. “You need to quit that. You’re Harry, and that makes you special to a lot of people. Three of which are right here.”

Fleur smiled at the redhead. “Thank you, Ms. Possible. And you are quite right.” She turned back to Harry. “How would your Mr. Lupin or Hermione take you treating yourself like that? What about the others that went with you to the ministry? There are many people who see you as someone special and not in that stupid boy-who-lived nonsense. They see the special young man that does what is right over what is easy and has too much thrust upon him but never quits. That is the young man I want to be my husband and that is the man I want to support with everything I have.”

Harry stared into her eyes before sighing. “Alright, you sold me. What do we have to do?”

Cassie grinned and opened her cell phone. “Hello, Zatanna? How would you like to go to a wedding tonight?”

***

Neville was the last one through on the trip back to Longbottom manor and glared at the assembly of Madam Bones, Arthur Weasley, his great uncle, grandmother, and two people that he was more than a little cross with at the moment. Without any pleasantries, Neville marched over and grabbed the more dominant of the two, Susan Bones, by the wrist and spun her around before bring his hand down on her arse with a resounding crack.

“Ow!” screamed Susan with any further protest halted by another hard swat on her backside. 

Before more than a word of protest could be uttered by the shocked adults, Neville rained down a series of paddling swats treating the young woman like a disobedient child. As the adults began to find their voice, Neville let the girl go but hadn’t moved from her sobbing form. “How dare you!” he shouted. “You spoilt little brat! You got the same training that I did! You could have been fighting right there beside the Aurors and where do I find you? Hiding behind a damn table! You were the best of us in class Susan! What, did you think that if you didn’t defend yourself then the Death Eaters weren’t going to bother with you! They would have raped and killed you! Or worse, tortured you into insanity like my folks! Is that what you want!”

“That’s enough Mr. Longbottom,” Arthur Weasley interrupted.

“No sir it’s not,” Neville shot back. He looked at the proud and from everything Harry and the twins had told him good man. “You seem to forget something that Harry, Hermione, Luna, Ginny and I learned very clearly at the Ministry. This is a war and it doesn’t matter that we don’t want to kill. Our enemies will think nothing of wiping us out and it is up to us to defend ourselves with every bit of our ability. We can not cower in fear and we can not meet force with anything less than force. I am not talking about hunting the Death Eaters down in the streets, that is a job for the Aurors. What I am talking about is making them realize that they are not going to have as easy a time of it this time around.”

Both men heard clapping coming from off to the side. They turned to see Algernon, Madam Bones and Neville’s grandmother clapping. “Well said Mr. Longbottom,” Amelia said softly before catching sight of the ring on his finger. “I mean Lord Longbottom. I personally wish to thank you for saving mine and my niece’s life. If it hadn’t been for your timely arrival, I doubt any of us would be standing here. And I can certainly say that how you dispatched the traitor Yaxley was inspired.”

Neville shrugged and blushed. “Actually he caught me off guard. I just fired the first spell that came to mind.”

Madam Bones smiled. “Regardless, I offer any assistance you may need in the coming future.”

Neville looked momentarily thoughtful before responding. “I’d like to request two things actually. First, I’d like to invite some of my Muggleborn and Muggle-raised friends here to train for the summer. They’re at a severe disadvantage and could use all the help they can get.”

Madam Bones blinked in surprise. “That makes a great deal of sense actually. I’ll agree to it on the condition that you allow others from willing pureblood families to attend as well. That will of course include Susan and Hannah.”

Neville nodded. “That’s fine Madam, and it leads into my next request.”

“And what is that?”

“Allow me to pick an appropriate disciplinary action for their cowardice.”

Madam Bones expression slid into a smirk. “As far as I am concerned Lord Longbottom, you are as of this minute their commanding officer. Deal with them as you wish.”

Neville nodded to Madam Bones before looking at the two girls. “Go up to my quarters and wait for me there.” Once the two girls headed off, Neville closed his eyes and called out. “Blossom!”

A female house elf popped next to Neville. “How can Blossom be helping Lord Longbottom?”

Neville smiled at the elf. “We need two rooms setup immediately for guests. One with two beds and one with one. When they are setup, please escort Madam Bones to the room with the single bed and then come to me so that you can escort our other two guests. Also, I would like the south wing prepared for company over the summer. We’ll likely have guests off and on over the holiday and I want rooms for when it will be necessary for them to stay over.” Once the elf bowed and popped away, Neville turned to the others in the room and bowed. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I have two brats to punish.”

Augusta watched in awe as Neville left the room. “He just looked more like his father than he has ever before.”

Algernon snorted. “He’s always been like his father. You just never wanted to see it. Gentleness doesn’t imply a lack of strength. On the contrary, it shows immense self control. I’m just wondering how he has gotten so powerful suddenly.”

Augusta blushed and looked away. “It may have had something to do with using his father’s wand.”

Algernon spun and glared at his sister. “Augusta!”

“I already received a tongue lashing from Garrick Olivander,” Augusta replied in a huff. “I do not need it from you as well.”

“Apparently you do!” the lead Unspeakable snarled. “I may have had my doubts, but I knew that the wards would at least keep him from serious injury. I told you once his magic manifested that he needed to go to Olivander’s, but did you listen to me? No!”

“Albus convinced me that it would be a fitting tribute to his father!”

Algernon cleared his ear and looked at her. “Did I actually hear you right? You took advice from Albus Dumbledore.”

Augusta rolled her eyes. “Not everyone holds Albus Dumbledore in as much disdain as you.”

“No,” he agreed. “Just the sane ones. You do realize that he’s at least partly responsible for Frank and Alice being in Saint Mungo’s.”

“What?”

Amelia nodded as she joined Algernon’s side. “He’s also responsible for the death of most of my family. He had forehand knowledge on the raid of my Brother-in-law’s house and didn’t release it because he wanted to protect his spy. I’d trust that bastard Constantine before I’d trust Albus Dumbledore.”

Augusta quickly deflated and looked at Arthur Weasley. “Arthur, surely you don’t feel the same.”

Arthur shook his head. “I don’t know what to believe right now,” he admitted. “I do know that my family owes a debt to Harry that can never be repaid. We are with him regardless. I don’t doubt that Harry and Neville will be on the same side. Whether that side includes Albus remains to be seen.”

***

Hermione was in heaven. Not literally mind you. No, this was one of those illusory ideas of heaven that people fantasize about. Still it was entirely enjoyable and Hermione was indulging in every second of it. She was at her favorite restaurant, a small french place just up the road from her home, with a beautiful Auror sitting opposite her that was currently twitching from Hermione running her foot up and down said Auror’s calf.

Hermione took a sip of her soda water and arched an eyebrow at her companion. “Something the matter Tonks?” 

Tonks huffed as she tried to keep her breathing under control, control that was threatening to slip as Hermione’s foot had trailed up to the Auror’s knee before trailing back down. “We are in public Hermione.”

“Why yes we are,” Hermione confirmed. “We are in a rather wonderful restaurant, that happens to be my favorite thank you very much, and we are about to have a wonderful dinner that you were kind enough to let me order. What I am wondering is why you are so tense? This is a somewhat casual restaurant so our attire can’t be it.” She slid her foot up to just the inside of Tonks’ thigh before returning her attention to the woman’s calf. “It is a Muggle café and I assure you that Jean Paul and his boyfriend Sebastian would have no problem with two people of the same sex enjoying dinner together. That is unless you were to hurt me. Then they’d probably be rather cross with you.”

Tonks fought a shiver and gave Hermione a stern glare. “I’m seven years older than you,” the Auror dead panned. “I’m fairly certain that there are people who would frown at that.”  
“First,” Hermione began after a brief interruption as food was delivered, “You are only six years older than me. My birthday just happens to fall after September first while yours is June 19th.” She grinned at Tonks’ gob-smacked expression. “Kingsley is a terrible gossip and easy to bribe with biscuits. As to the age difference, Sebastian is twelve years older than Jean Paul and my mother is eight years younger than my father. I fail to see a problem.”

“You are under age Hermione,” Tonks tried to explain. “I could be seen as coercing you.”

Hermione looked thoughtful. “Funny, I don’t recall you dragging me into the shower. In fact, I am pretty sure it was the other way around. Now if you are worried about this,” Hermione once again slid her foot along Tonk’s leg even further up the woman’s thigh, “I would like to note that the table cloth reaches the floor and we are currently the only people in the dining area. So please enjoy your dinner and then we can talk about other things.”

Tonks took a bite of her food and continued to watch her young companion warily. “What other things will we be talking about?” 

Hermione shrugged as she relished what she was eating. “Anything you want really. We could talk about what you intend to teach me or where you would like to go this summer. Of course we could also talk about the fact that my parents are going to stay in London tonight and that I’ll be home all alone unless someone would like to spend the night. For my protection of course.”

Tonks groaned. “You are going to drive me to distraction.” The groan almost turned into a moan and a shudder as the Auror felt her companion’s foot travel fully along the inside of her leg. “I’ll have to go home and get some sleep wear.”

Hermione smirked. “How quaint. You actually wear clothes to sleep.”

***

Ginny returned from her little mission and stomped outside to go for a run. Heading for a nearby orchard, she quietly fumed and reviewed what she had learned. She could feel the alterations that the potions Sirius left her making her faster and stronger, as well as her mind sharper. Right now, she wished she could dull her memory a bit to keep the anger she was feeling at bay. 

Of the twelve men that she went to dig up information on, three were Aurors, five were in other prominent positions in the Ministry, with three more on the Wizengamot. Only one was in a somewhat insignificant position and that likely had more to do with his predilection towards murder and violence. Walden McNair was quite possibly the nastiest piece of work that she had ever had the displeasure of knowing about. The fact that he had become the magical creature executioner didn’t surprise her one bit.

But all of that wasn’t what pissed her off most. No, what was making her angry enough to possibly consider using unforgivables was the fact that the Ministry had let that...that...bitch to resume her position in the Ministry. Dolores Umbridge had spent an entire school year torturing the students of Hogwarts and hadn’t even received a slap on the wrist. Ginny almost wished that the bitch had been killed by the Centaurs. Then she wouldn’t have to do it. 

She quickly jumped up and grabbed a low hanging branch and pulled herself up out of direct sight. Her ears had picked up something moving and she crouched in wait opening her senses to what was going on around her. She almost huffed in frustration when she saw Bill following her. She was about to drop down and curse him out when she saw something else that made her grin.

Now it would be good to point out that all of the Weasley men develop an irrational fear of some animal that is by and far ignored by the rest of the wizarding world. For Ron it was spiders. The twins had an irrational fear of goats. For Percy it was of all things frogs and Charlie always produced a girlish shriek whenever he saw a gnome. What had just made Ginny’s day was that she saw the one thing that would cause Bill to shrink back in fear.

“Now how to get it in front of him without hurting or scaring the snake,” she murmured to herself as she saw the horned snake casually slithering through the grass under a nearby apple tree.

The snake seemed to stop and look up at her before turning to look in Bill’s direction. Ginny felt that she must have been hallucinating as she saw the snake heading straight for her brother and seemed to be humming. 

“Snake!” screamed Bill once he saw it.

{“Human!”} the horned snake seemed to shout back. Ginny was certain she was hallucinating now.

Bill whipped his wand out. “S-stay back.”

{“Please,”} the horned snake hissed, {“I’d be afraid of what I’d catch. Is that Sphinx I smell on you? And Goblin? Dear Marduk, what the nine hells have you been rolling in?”}  
Ginny chose that moment to drop down and stop her bother...um, brother. “You do know that it’s still illegal to kill a horned serpent.”

Bill jerked his head up to look at his sister. “Ginny, get back. It might bite you.”

Ginny rolled her eyes. “Which would make me hallucinate for about eight hours.” Wait, How did she know that? Ginny filed the bit of spontaneous information in the back of her mind and continued on. “I’m too big for it to eat me so it will only strike if it feels threatened and I’m not the one pointing a wand at it.” She nodded at his wand to emphasize her point. “Lower your wand and back away slowly.” Once her brother complied she regarded him for a few seconds before asking, “What are you doing out here, Bill?”

“It’s getting late,” he explained as he kept a nervous eye on the snake. “I was worried when I heard you storm out.”

Ginny shrugged. “I needed to burn off some aggression.”

“And your trip to the ministry?” he pressed.

Ginny sighed. “I needed information on some targets.”

Bill scowled. “I’m not sure how I feel about you being an assassin, Ginny.”

The horned snake seemed to turn it’s head to look at her with renewed interest. Ginny tried her best to ignore it as she continued to stare at Bill. “It’s not really your choice. I can go places others can’t and Sirius didn’t just dump this on me to let me stumble on my own. He’s left me things that will help me to do the job he’s set out for me. I’m not the first shadow that had to start training sometime later than age eight.”

Bill grimaced but came to a decision. “Alright, I’ll put in through Gringotts for you to get a waiver. I can’t stop you, but maybe I can give you some other advantages that people may not be prepared for.”

Ginny quirked an eyebrow. “Like what?”

“I’m a curse breaker Ginny,” Bill explained exasperatedly. “I’ve been exposed to curses that haven’t been encountered since the time of the pharaohs. I also know some Druidic and old Norse spells that have really fallen out of favor. It might just be something that keeps you alive.”

Ginny gave him a small smile. “Thanks Bill. I’ll be in shortly. Just give me a few minutes. The stuff I found out kind of wound me up.”

“Want to talk about it?”

Ginny snorted. “Do you really want to continue hanging around a snake with Hallucinogenic venom?”

Bill paled slightly. “Good point. I’ll see you inside. Be careful.” 

Ginny smiled as she watched her brother walk back towards the house. The smile quickly faded as the horned snake began to speak. {“So speaker, what kind of mischief have you gotten yourself in?”}

Ginny looked down at the snake and felt herself hiss back. {“I’m not hallucinating, am I.”}

The snake hissed with laughter. {“Afraid not. Though I can sense your concern, you needn’t worry. I can tell your ability has been forced on you. I wish to offer you a deal, depending on what you can tell me about your duty.”}

Ginny sat down and offered to let the snake slide up into her lap. {“I guess it can’t hurt. It’s not like you can tell any other humans what I’m planning. Well, except Voldemort and he’s arrogant enough to laugh it off. I’m to be a lord’s shadow. It’s like his personal problem solver.”}

{“Like a king’s druid in the olden days,”} The horned snake offered as it got comfortable in her lap. {“A priestess that is to do the work to make sure the land is cleansed of evil.”}  
Ginny looked thoughtful before nodding in agreement. {“I have to admit that I’m surprised that I kept this ability. I wonder how much else I kept from Tom.”}

The snake looked at her evenly. {“You were possessed. That is how you became a speaker.”}

{“Yes,”} Ginny confirmed. {“Is that a problem?”}

{“Not really,”} the horned snake replied, almost amused. {“The druid lines have largely died out with the kin biting Gaunts being the last. Perhaps this is a way for the traditions to be reborn. It gives me a chance to do something that would make my life well spent and leads into the deal I mentioned. I would like to give you my magic in return for a promise from you.”}

{“That depends on the promise,”} Ginny hedged cautiously. {“I have a life debt to Harry that I refuse to even come close to compromising.”}

{“The dark haired boy that curses like a sailor?”} At Ginny’s surprised squawk the snake laughed. {“He tends to curse in the tongue so he doesn’t get in trouble with adults or the rats nest girl. I’m not sure he even realizes he’s doing it. No, you will not betray your oaths to him. I simply want a rebirth of the speaker line. The land needs wardens and physicians. My magic will allow you to integrate what you gained from your possession and add some of my own abilities to it. You will become marginally stronger in your arts and may find talents you are more capable in than you were before.”}

{“What’s the down side?”} Ginny asked still wary.

The snake hissed a laugh. {“What are your views on raw meat and sex?”}

Ginny blinked. {“I tend to prefer my meat a little on the rare side anyway and I’m not yet fifteen. I prefer boys, but haven’t given it much thought.”}

{“I prefer my food living,”} the snake said as way of explanation. {“You’ll likely want your meat even rarer than before. You’ll also want to mate...a lot. I can’t say how faithful you may be to a lover either as you will be driven to rebuild a line of speakers.”}

Ginny snorted. {“So it’ll make me a slut,”} she dead panned. {“I noticed you didn’t say anything about a preference of women over men.”}

{“Meh, I’m hermaphroditic so it’s not much of an issue to me.”}

Ginny stilled. {“Is there a chance that could happen to me?”}

{“Possibly. Is that a problem?”}

{“Well it’ll make me creating more speakers easier,”} Ginny snarked. {“That is if people can get over me being a bird with a todger.”}

{“Humans are too worried about appearances,”} the snake complained. {“I honestly can’t tell you everything you’ll get, but I imagine the good will be balanced out by the bad. So are you game?”}

***

Severus Snape made his way through the dilapidated ruins of the Shrieking Shack. How he had managed to keep from being called by his masters was a mystery, or rather it would have been if the dark lord wasn’t busy trying to find a safe place to hide himself and the so-called “light lord” wasn’t currently in the castle trying to get his pawn once again under his control. Severus begrudgingly found himself impressed by the mutt’s creativity and almost Slytherin cunning in getting Harry out from under the headmaster’s influence, even if it was only for a matter of months. 

He made his way into the living room and looked around to see if he saw what the mongrel was referring to in his letter. Severus allowed a chuckle escape his lips when he spied a portrait of Minerva in full on rant mode. Moving it aside, Severus found a hole carved out that was just big enough for someone to slide a small box in between the lathe boards and was just about to stick his hand in when he thought about the Slytherin cunning that Black had displayed posthumously.

He reached down and picked up a broken table leg which he then placed in the hole. It only mildly surprised him when the leg was sliced in two by a blade that instantly reset itself. “Rook’s to you,” Severus muttered approvingly. “Now, how to get my prize? The mutt has likely spelled it to be immune to a simple accio. There is likely another trap waiting if I simply went through the wall itself. Perhaps there is a clue on the painting.”

As he picked up the painting to have a closer look, Severus noticed something fall off the back. He looked down to discover an envelope addressed to him. He cautiously opened it to find a safe deposit box key and another letter from Black.

Dear Snivelous,  
If you are reading this, then I have shuffled off the mortal coil before handing over the enclosed key. Lily’s last gift to you is in box 16942 at the main branch of Weatherbys in Northhamptonshire. The box is in your name and as I am sure you have kept your Muggle identification up, you should have no problem getting it from here on out. I can only hope that you lost a hand before looking at the back of the painting.   
Yours truly,  
Sirius Black  
P.S. Why is the National Anthem God Save the Queen when Elton John wasn’t born until 1947?

Severus stared at the letter then at the key, then back at the letter. This was the man that had almost disfigured him? This was the man that had Albus about to pull his hair out trying to figure out his master plan? “I was almost beaten by an imbecile,” Severus muttered to himself. “I most definitely must be losing my edge.”  
The potions master made his way out of the house and away from the castle to where he could apparate undetected.

***

Neville stormed into his room and glared at the two ladies that waited looking worriedly at him. “Care to tell me why you didn’t bother to try protecting yourself?”

Susan shifted uncomfortably. “Auntie told us to hide.”

“Try again,” Neville snarled. “What was Harry’s first rule?”

“Never back down,” Hannah admitted looking down.

“What did you do?”

“I was scared!” Susan cried. “Is that what you wanted to hear? I saw the Death Eaters and nearly wet myself! I’m a bloody coward! Are you happy now, Neville! I saw the enemy and all I wanted to do was get away!”

Neville looked at Hannah. “And you?”

Hannah shook her head. “Susan grabbed my wand, afraid I’d attract someone’s attention.”

“Why didn’t you just knock her out?” Neville asked.

“How dare you!” Susan snarled.

Neville looked at her. “You were a liability and hindered a possible defender. You would have been more useful unconscious.” He turned back to Hannah. “Well?”

Hannah sighed. “She’s my mistress. I...I couldn’t bring myself to do it.”

Neville cocked an eye at Susan. “You’re strong enough to dominate someone but too much of a coward to stand up for yourself?”

Susan glared through her tears. “I was scared.”

“And you think I wasn’t!” Neville shouted. “Courage isn’t about not being afraid! It’s about doing what needs to be done in spite of being scared!” He took a breath and stepped away from Susan. “Hannah, for the time being you aren’t to take any direction from Susan. In fact, I’m taking her wand except for when she’ll be taking lessons with us. Am I going to have to put the two of you in separate rooms to make sure this order is followed?”

“What do you mean put us in separate rooms?” Susan demanded. “Just who put you in charge of us?”

“Your Aunt,” Neville answered flatly. “Well Hannah, what is it to be?”

Hannah fidgeted a bit. “Um...actually, would it be possible for me to stay with you?”

Neville blinked and took a minute to respond. “You want to stay in here with me.”

Hannah nodded.

“In my bed.”

“Yes sir.”

“With me.”

“Yes.”

Neville opened and closed his mouth several time before asking, “Why?”

“I need a strong master,” the young witch replied. “And Susan obviously isn’t.”

“You want me to be your master,” Neville said as if to confirm.

“Yes.”

“Me.”

“Yes.”

“So if I asked you to strip down and walk around starkers...” 

Hannah began unbuttoning her blouse.

“Whoa! Whoa!” Neville shouted frantically. “Wait! I get it! That was just a hypothetical question!”

“So can I stay?” Hannah asked hopefully.

Neville ran a hand through his hair and let out a shaky breath. “Yeah, sure. I guess we can work something out. Blossom!” Neville smiled as the House Elf appeared. “Bring Miss Abbot’s things in here. She’ll be staying with me. As for Miss Bones, take her to her room and bring me her wand.”

“Yes Lord Neville,” the house elf chirped before grabbing Susan and popping away before the young witch could protest. 

Neville looked at Hannah sternly before speaking again. “You let yourself be unarmed.”

“Yes sir,” Hannah said guiltily. 

“What would you consider a fitting punishment?”

Hannah shifted and squirmed a bit. “Um...you could paddle me like you did Susan.”

Neville cocked an eyebrow. “I get the feeling that you’d probably enjoy that.”

Hannah blushed. “I get the feeling that you’re probably right.”

Neville snorted. “Therefore I’m not going to paddle you since it won’t be much of a punishment. Go get ready for bed.”

“Aw!” Hannah groaned before trudging off to the bathroom.

“Oh and Hannah,” Neville called when she had reached the bathroom door.

“Yes sir?”

“You better not have a stitch on when you come back in here. If I’m to be your master, I better get some perks out of it.”

Hannah gaped for a second before slowly nodding. “Right. Yes sir.”

***

Fred and George lay on their back on the Holyhead Harpies quidditch pitch staring up at the sky where the Harpies were practicing for an upcoming game. Fred took a rather long drag from something that looked suspiciously like a hand-wrapped muggle cigarette and passed it to his brother. “You know George, I think Padfoot and Prongs were geniuses if this was how they thought up some of the things in that journal like Padfoot said.”

George took a drag off the cigarette and handed it back to Fred. “I know. Who would have thought laying down on a quidditch pitch staring at the sky could give you so many ideas. Of course this Muggle herb probably has something to do with it as well.”

“What kind of ideas are you getting?” Fred asked.

“I want a taco,” George responded. “No, scratch that. I want a lot of tacos.”

“That’s brilliant George,” Fred enthused. “What’s a taco?”

George continued staring at the sky. “I have no bloody idea, but I want one right now. And if I want it that likely means others will want it at some time in the future. Right?”

Fred propped himself up and looked at his twin in awe. “That’s bloody brilliant. Way better than my idea.”

George looked at Fred quizzically. “What was your idea?”

Fred shrugged. “I was thinking about mandatory coed showering between the players and owners.”

George looked thoughtful before nodding. “That one has merit too. Especially since we bought the outstanding stock in the Harpies. I think we’d just have to share with Lee.”

Fred sighed. “Well it was you that said that three owners looked less suspicious than two.”

George gave his twin a mock glare. “There are thirteen players total. I think the three of us can share amicably.”

***

Harry paced back and forth inside Elvis’ Magical Graceland Wedding Chapel, waiting for his bride. Off to his left were Cassie and her friend Zatanna Zatara. It had turned out that Cassie was right and she was old enough to serve as a witness to a wedding (or at least the officiant dressed as the king of rock and roll wasn’t going to argue with a demi-goddess about whether she counted as a witness) and now the only people missing were Kim and the bride.

Just as Harry was about to go looking for them the two entered the chapel. Fleur was a vision in the champagne dress she had found and Kim wore a complementary dress and held the short train as they made their way down the aisle. Harry stood gobsmacked as the officiant went on with what was apparently needed to make the ceremony official. When he was asked for his vows, Harry just said what came to his mind.

“You are the most beautiful woman that I have ever seen at this moment. I can not understand the forces that brought us together nor how you are able to accept the completely unfair situation that you have to share your husband, but I thank you for your understanding and grace and hope that I spend every day showing you that you are precious to me. This is all I can promise with my heart and on my magic and my life.”

Fleur smiled and responded, “You are the kindest most generous man that I have ever met. I can not understand the forces that have left you feeling unworthy of the love you have been gifted with, but I will spend my every hour proving to you that you do deserve it and so much more. I vow to be gracious and accepting of the joys and sorrows that your life brings and will spend every day showing you that you are precious to me. This is all I can promise with my heart and on my magic and my life.”

Neither heard the proclamation by the officiant as they came together in a gentle kiss. As they separated, Fleur whispered to her new husband. “Take me to our room.”  
Without consciously thinking about it, Harry picked Fleur up and turned on the spot, disappearing in a flash of light.

The officiant blinked and looked at the women still in attendance. “Would one of you be willing to congratulate them on their bonding?”

“No problem,” Cassie replied not registering Zatanna’s surprised gasp.

The officiant looked bothered by something. “He mentioned her having to share him.”

Cassie shrugged. “He’s the last heir to multiple houses. Line continuation obligations and all that.”

“Ah,” the officiant replied in understanding. “Let him also know that I’ll be happy to give him a discount on future weddings.”

“Sure,” Cassie said as she collected her friends and headed towards the exit. “I’ll also put in a good word if any of my other friends decide to get hitched.”

“Thank ya, thank ya very much.”

***

Luna was walking through the lingerie department of Macy’s without a stitch of clothing on. Of course seeing as it was well after operating hours for the store, public indecency was the least of her concerns. Not that she was concerned. No, at the moment she was trying to decide between a lacy bra and panty set and an equally lacy teddy. “Hrm...I just can’t decide. What do you think, Dobby?”

The house elf popped next to her and gave each garment a visual once over before shrugging. “Dobby not be knowing Miss Loveygoods. What is you wanting to be done by Mister Harry Potter sir?”

Luna thought for a second and shivered in pleasure before letting out a low moan. “Oh, just a couple fantasies I’ve been working on.”

Dobby looked at both again before pointing at the bra and panty set. “Dobby be thinking that one. Mister Harry Potter sir will feel less guilty about tearing it off Miss Loveygoods.”

Luna smiled and removed the tags and security measures before slipping them on. “Keep hold of the tag so we know what to pay in the end.”

Dobby obeyed and followed Luna to the dress department. Before they got more than a few feet, a rather large security guard appeared before them holding a can of...something. “Hold it right there!” the man shouted.

Dobby snapped his fingers and the guard found himself pinned to a support column. The elf calmly walked up and looked the guard over noting his name. “Dobby is being sorry’s Mister Bart, but Dobby is being sure that no one hurts his master’s Miss Loveygoods. Dobby is taking his job very seriously and not being afraid to cut a bitch to makes sure Miss Loveygoods not being hurt. Now tells Dobby Mister Bart, is Dobby going to have to cut a bitch?”

Luna rolled her eyes and put a hand on Dobby’s shoulder. “Dobby, I think that the man was just afraid we were robbing the store seeing it is after hours. Seeing as the can says ‘Easy Cheese’ I don’t think he was really wanting to hurt us.” She then turned her attention to the security guard. “I apologize for my friend’s overzealousness sir. I assure you that we were going to pay before we left, it was just easier to do my shopping when no one was about. I acknowledge that I’m a bit unconventional, but we’re in a bit of a hurry and I don’t wish to keep my future husband waiting any longer than I have to. Come along Dobby.”

The elf shrugged and obediently followed Luna only to stop at a nearby bedding display staring at a pillowcase display. “Ooh,” Dobby gushed. “600 count Egyptian cotton. Winky could make such a pretty dress with this.”

Luna smiled and knelt down next to her friend. “How is Winky doing?” she asked.

Dobby smiled back. “Oh Winky is being much better since Miss Loveygoods is being bonded with her, but the other elves still say she is having a long way to go in the Butterbear rehab. Winky should being ready to start working by start of Hogwarts.”

Luna nodded thoughtfully and then broached her next topic carefully. “Has she talked any more about what happened after her last bender?”

Dobby’s eyes took on a dangerous glint. “No she hasn’t Miss Loveygoods, but Dobby is going to find the Blue Bastard and makes him eat his hat before introducing him to Mister Hagrid’s meaner pets.”

Luna sighed and petted Dobby’s head. “We need to start monitoring your tv habits. You’re becoming a bit too violent. How about you pick out a couple really pretty pillow cases for Winky and we’ll add them to the total.”

While Dobby was busy picking out pillow cases, Luna felt herself drawn to a simple yet gorgeous knee length ivory dress and almost let out another moan when she found out it was 100% silk. Once they finished their shopping, Luna tallied their total and sighed. “Two hundred seventy-five dollars and change. Now according to the conversion rates that would be thirty-seven Galleons, seven Sickles, and two Knuts. There’s probably some tax to be added as well since Muggles are so fond of them, so we’ll just round it up to an even Thirty-eight Galleons.”

Dobby scratched his head. “Dobby be thinking we should be leaving Muggle money Miss Loveygoods. Dobby be remembering something about bad old master upset at his wife after a shopping spree.”

Luna looked thoughtful then shrugged. “I really don’t want to wait for a Gringotts branch to open Dobby. I’m sure it won’t be too much of a problem.” She dropped the coins on the counter and turned back to her companion. “Now I know you can’t pop directly to Las Vegas and would never ask you to, so where is our next little stop?”

“Dobby is thinking going South then west so there are more shorter hops than the big hops over middle of land. Dobby is thinking Richmond then Atlanta then Dobby be taking Miss Loveygoods to Big Easy before going through really big state and desert.”

Luna took the elf’s hand and smiled brightly at him. “Well we’ve already been to Iceland, Greenland and Nova Scotia. What’s a few more hops. Whenever you’re ready, Dobby.”  
The security guard found himself instantly detached from the wall when the strange duo disappeared and headed over to the counter. He looked down at the thirty-eight gold coins and gaped. You see, this was one of the few times that Luna probably should have heeded Dobby’s advice.

It is a bit of a dirty little secret among the goblins that while they value a Galleon at a little less than five pounds (roughly seven dollars and thirty five cents for us yanks out there), the value of the gold used in the creation of these coins is somewhat higher. Actually, make that much higher. The simple truth is that for all the security charms placed on a galleon to keep it from being forged, Goblins were required to use pure un alloyed gold. So while they’ll only exchange the coins for a rather low set value, if one were to take them to a gold dealer they would make significantly more (In fact, one Lily Potter made a very serious threat to the Goblin high council to do just that a year before her death that resulted in the Potters gaining a serious advantage over the goblin nation in the form of a very binding treaty that would make the goblin nation bound to assist the Potter family if they should ever need it, gratis). 

Now going back to our scene, the security guard found himself looking at a pile of gold coins roughly equaling a troy ounce of gold in weight. This security guard, one Paul Blart, could not believe what had just happened to him on the night that he volunteers to pick up an extra shift to cover some of the expenses of his recent wedding. Now Paul was a very noble and honorable man, but he also realized that there was no way that what the young lady paid was going to be believed...especially after he scrubbed the video tape. No one was ever going to see him get taken down by something a quarter his size. 

He looked at the total the young girl had come up with and adjusted for sales tax before pulling out his own wallet and paying with his credit card. He then scooped up the gold coins and dropped them in his pocket before heading up to the video center and erasing the tape. It would three days until he found out how much he had gained from his actions.

***

Remus Lupin sighed as he opened the door and was instantly assaulted by the screaming voice of one Walburga Black. Ignoring the screeching as he sat down a tool box and two cans of paint, he then began unloading his pockets and unshrinking the various and sundry items that he had brought to begin his renovations. “Let’s see,” the werewolf muttered to himself, “paint, brushes, prybar, hammer, nails, chainsaw, kerosene, matches, silver polish...why do I think that I’m forgetting something?”

At that point Kreacher decided to make his unwelcome presence known by popping into the hall directly opposite of Remus. “What is filthy werewolf doing in Mistress’ House?”  
Remus gave him a passing glance. “You do realize that your mistress has been dead for going on three years now and therefore can not own anything. As it stands, Sirius left this house to me and I steadfastly refuse to live in a hovel. Now you can either simply stand aside and allow me to do what I wish with my property, help with my repairs and improvements, or simply bugger off for all I care.”

Kreacher let out what could be said to be an almost primal snarl before hurling insults. “Filthy werewolf! Kreacher not allow you to do anything to Mistress’ house. Kreacher will grind filthy werewolf into paste and feed him to doxies before Filthy werewolf can so much as touch Mistress’ House!”

Remus sighed and let the elf spit out every punishment the vile little creature could come up with each puntuated with the oh so endearing term ‘filthy werewolf’ proving that the demented little house elf had never met a truly filthy werewolf in his life. Remus prided himself on how well he maintained himself and was more than a little offended by the little shite’s language. Finally, after a good five minutes of listening to the elf’s tirade, Remus pulled a pistol out of his pocket and shot the little bugger between the eyes, felling the little monster in one shot.

Remus then picked up the chainsaw and smiled jovially at the painting of Wlaburga Black. “Now for my next step in operation peace and quiet. I know Sirius wanted me to wolf out on you, but I simply find the thought of that distasteful. I can’t imagine how much mouthwash I would have to gargle to get your foul taste out of my mouth.” Not waiting for a response from the painting, he then started the saw and began cutting out the picture just inside the frame. It was a nice frame after all. 

Once he had removed the painting surprisingly without damaging the frame, he then took it and the elf corpse out into the back garden. They were quickly joined by the house elf heads, several other paintings of prominent Black family members and no small number of dark artifacts. Remus then went about dousing the entire pile in kerosene and lighting it on fire. He set a containment spell on the blaze before heading in to see what else needed to be done and headed for the master bedroom.

Something kept niggling in the back of his mind that he was forgetting something, but couldn’t for the life of him remember what it was. His memory was instantly rejuvenated when he opened the master bedroom door and found himself face to beak with a very annoyed Hippogriff. “Right,” Remus suddenly remembered, “Something to feed Buckbeak. Don’t suppose you’re in a forgiving mood.”

The hippogriff cocked its head and regarded him as if to say, “Depends. What’s in it for me?”

Remus sighed in resignation. “How about I go get you a couple goats and then see if I can find a place where you can roam free.”

Buckbeak seemed to shrug and dismiss him as he went back to its bed turned nest.

Remus sighed and made his way down to the floo, trying to figure out how to get in touch with Harry without Albus finding out. He was sure the hippogriff would be happier out of town than where he currently was, but with everything still locked down the only place to move him would be Hogwarts and Remus wasn’t about to place him back under the headmaster’s control. 

He quickly tossed some floo powder in and shouted “Hog’s Head!” before stepping through.

***

Petunia Dursley wasn’t a stupid woman. She knew that although her nephew hadn’t been there for a week that it wasn’t necessarily a good thing. Dudley had been avoiding his friends since he got home and Vernon was spending more and more time away from home. When he did finally come home at night, he looked evasive and more than a little shifty.

It was now Tuesday morning and she was startled by a knock at her door. She looked out the window and saw a constable. She also noted that Vernon’s car was in the driveway but he was already gone when she woke up. She cautiously opened the door and looked at the constable nervously. “Can I help you?”  
The constable looked a little uncomfortable. “Petunia Dursley?”

“Yes.”

“We found your husband in the park,” the constable said in a slightly uncomfortable tone.

“Oh dear, is he okay?”

“Um well...” the officer shifted and looked back towards the direction of the park. “We had to arrest him. He was in violation of several ordinances as well as committing one or more felonies.”

“What?”

“We found him starkers in the center and it looks like he was pummeled rather soundly. We were just going to round him up and bring him home, but then we found that he had a rather startling amount of juvenile pornography nearby along with a couple bricks of marijuana.”

“What!”

The constable was looking even more uncomfortable. “We’ve taken him down to the station until we can get this all cleared up. I was asked to see if you would give us permission to search his car and to inform you that the inspector is getting a warrant to search your house.”

Petunia was in shock. “Yes...of course. This must be some kind of mistake.” She took the keys from the corner table and handed them to the officer. “Are you sure the pornography was his?”

The officer shrugged nervously. “I really shouldn’t say mum, but yeah it’s his.”

“How?”

The constable sighed. “I really shouldn’t say mum. I’ll get these back to you.”

Petunia watched as the constable joined another already at the car. 

“What’s going on?” came a voice behind Petunia. She turned to see her son. 

“It’s nothing Dudders,” Petunia said softly. “There’s just some misunderstanding with your father.”

“They caught him with drugs and kiddie porn didn’ they.”

Petunia looked at her son in shock. “How would you know that?”

Dudley sighed and looked up at his mother. “Dad’s been selling them to pay the bills. He’s working as a mule for Piers and the guys. He asked me not to tell.”  
“How long has this been going on?” Petunia asked in shock.

“Since dad lost his job back in April. He said some bloke just bought up all the outstanding stock for Grunnings one night and chopped it up amongst their competitors, but not before firing dad. Said it was due to his philandering and embezzlement.” Dudley looked down. “I didn’t know what to tell you and didn’t want to hurt you.”  
Petunia was gob smacked. “Vernon...philandering?”

Dudley nodded. “There was more, but...Mom I just can’t bring my self to admit it. I think dad was having an affair.”

“An affair!”

Dudley put a hand on his mother’s shoulder. “With Aunt Marge.”

“What!”

Dudley looked at his mom sadly. “You know how close they always were and how aunt Marge never married...Well dad said there was another woman and she’s the only one that would fit with how much she was over here. I hope I’m wrong.”

Petunia tried to calm herself. “It’s alright Dudders. Everything will be alright. We own the house free and clear as well as your father’s car. Oh, is this why you’ve been avoiding the house?”

Dudley looked a little nervous. “Well not exactly. I really didn’t want it to come up like this, but I’ve been seeing someone and I really think they’re the one.”

Petunia perked up and smiled at the possibility of some good news. “Oh really? What is the dear girl’s name?”

Dudley gave a bit of a shy smile. “His name is Marcus and he runs the tattoo shop over at the shopping center. He’s offered to give me a couple of piercings on the house with your permission.”

Petunia Dursley’s eyes chose that moment to roll into the back of her head as she fainted dead away. The police responded immediately and it wasn’t long before an ambulance was spiriting her off to the hospital. Dudley freely gave the constables and inspectors everything he knew and even led them to his father’s stashes in the basement. The fact that they also saw the room where Dudley admitted that his cousin was forced to live, was simply further fodder that would likely find his mother also facing criminal charges.  
After the police left with assurances that Dudley had a place to go, namely one Arabella Figg’s, he made his way to the house of cats and knocked on the door with a distinctive pattern. The door opened to reveal not Mrs. Figg but Kingsley Shacklebolt. “Well?” the tall black man asked.

“Everything went exactly to plan,” Dudley confirmed. “Mom’s likely heading to the nut house and Dad’s going to jail for child porn and drug smuggling. How’d you get those pictures of Dad with a little girl?”

Kingsley shrugged. “Polyjuiced Dung to look like your dad and altered some pre-existing pictures seized in a death eater raid. What finally sent your mom over the edge?”

Dudley snorted. “Told her dad was sleeping with his sister and that I was gay. Does this clear us?”

“Yeah,” Kingsley said casually. “It was a rather profound thing you just did for your cousin.”

“Harry saved me from death,” Dudley shot back. “I figured I owed him something. I’m sorry and a hand shake just didn’t seem enough and I doubt he’d think I was sincere.”  
Kingsley nodded sagely. “Yeah, that sounds like some tripe that a hack writer would come up with...or Dumbledore.”

Dudley shrugged. “Well anyway, I gave the coppers this address to get a hold of me. Let Mrs. Figg know I’ll be at my girlfriend’s if they come looking for me.”

“Will do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The words of Dudley Dursley do not necessarily reflect those of the authors, though he does admit that he may have gone a bit overboard in some sections of this.
> 
> Dylan


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The hat comments on Ron. Arthur and Amelia at the office. Neville makes a speech. Ginny's war begins and an elf makes a confession.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: JKR still owns Harry Potter. DC still owns all their characters. Joss Whedon still owns Buffy and company and Disney Still owns Kim Possible and her friends along with any Marvel characters that may show up. Also, the rating isn't a joke. don't like don't read. Not legally old enough to read, don't read. I am not one to be corrupting children. That's what high school and naughty babysitters are for.

Chapter 4

Albus stared out the window of his office as he tried to tune out the wailing of Molly Weasley. He could feel the disapproval of not only Fawkes but also the castle itself. Didn’t they understand that he did all of this for the greater good? He glanced once more at the monitoring devices that were supposed to be attuned to Harry and saw that they were all silent, which likely meant that the goblins had found all of his little enchantments for the boy’s own good.

“What are we going to do, Albus?” Molly’s voice cut through his musings. “That boy is doing Merlin knows what and my family is in shambles.”

“We will do everything we can to correct this,” Albus replied receiving a warning squawk from Fawkes, “but we must walk carefully. I will begin by paying for Ronald’s tuition from the governor’s fund for the last two years.”

“Like hell you will,” warned the sorting hat. “That was set aside for first generation students by Helga Hufflepuff herself. You try to touch it for that and I’ll shift the ward control to Filius and lock you out of the castle.”

“But Ronald has no family and is therefore technically-“ Albus shuddered as he felt the ward controls being stripped from him.

“That’s warning one Albus,” The sorting hat growled from its stool. “You want Mr. Prewitt in Hogwarts, you will have to pay for it out of your own pocket. And I mean you own money, not money stolen from Mr. Potter.” The hat chuckled. “Of course I can guess that the Goblins won’t let you touch a single knut of his money any more.”

“I’m a Weasley!” Ron shouted indignant.

The hat snorted. “Hardly. Your father has thrown you out of the family and even then I’d have my doubts due to your laziness.”

“What’s that supposed to mean?”

The hat shifted to look at the young man.“Arthur and his brothers struggled hard for their positions in the world. Do you realize that the only person your father answers to is the head of the DMLE? Or that your six uncles are the worlds foremost authorities on magical Herbs, technomancy, arithmancy, runes, history of magic and minerals respectively? You oldest brother is the youngest curse breaker in a century, followed by the youngest master dragon handler ever in Charles. Percy rocketing through the ministry even if it’s a bit artificial. The twins opening a shop that has been the first real competition to Zonko’s since the company’s inception, and your sister who is a charms, potions and transfiguration prodigy. You, Mr. Prewitt are amongst all your former siblings singularly unique in your lack of aptitude and general laziness.”

“I can play chess,” Ron countered.

“Which is absolutely useless in the real world,” the hat stated definitively. “Your only strategy is what your father was able to cram into your useless head. I imagine that if you were to meet a true chess master, you would be crying in a corner within three moves. You sir are more useless than a condom at a lesbian orgy.”

“You shouldn’t insult students,” the headmaster chided.

“That would imply the boy actually studied,” the hat shot back. “And don’t get me started on the reincarnation of Merope in front of me here. She’s proof that I should have let the squid drown Muriel Harker so she wouldn’t have been able to influence her equally duplicitous niece. I am grateful that the board of governors has to approve all of Albus’ appointments so his next plan will be dead on arrival.”

Albus looked amused. “I’m sure my friends on the board-“

“Have been replaced since you have lost all the proxies you used to get them in place,” the hat cut him off. “And since I have a very good idea who are going to be the new proxies, I’m equally sure I know who the new governors will be. I have set a meeting for you with them a week before the start of term and set Filius on filling the positions that are lacking.”

“I was intending for Severus to teach defense,” Albus countered. “Surely you can see that he has finally earned the chance.”

The hat seemed to look thoughtful. “You can try to offer it to him, though I doubt he’ll take it. I’ll insist that Filius and Pomona both be present when you offer it so you don’t try to influence his decision.”

“What have I done to earn such distrust?” Albus asked with a bit of a scowl.

“Three words,” The hat responded. “Your beau Gellert.”

Albus had the grace to blush and conceded any arguments until he met the new governors. “Very well, I will pay for Mr Weasley’s-“

“Prewitt!” the hat shouted. “He’s been thrown out of the Weasley family. Prewitt is the only name he can claim. I’ll not have you trying to hide the truth or his shame. The same with his mother. They are no longer Weasleys, so quit calling them that.”

“Fine!” the headmaster snapped. “I’ll pay for Mr. Prewitt’s education this year and we will revisit the issue once I have had a chance to explain things to the new governors.”  
This got a snort from Fawkes as a Ministry owl winged its way into the window and dropped a missive on the Headmaster’s desk before winging back out. Albus looked down at the letter that was addressed to “Mr. Dumbledore, Headmaster’s office.”

Albus cautiously opened the letter to find that it was from the Wizengammot denying his application to rejoin them. What was most vexing was that the missive was signed by Chief Warlock Algernon Croaker. “Well,” Ablus said with a resigned sigh, “It seems that my last stronghold for guiding the world towards the light rests here.”

Fawkes turned towards the sorting hat and gave a confused warble to which the hat responded, “No, I’m afraid he’s completely serious.”

***

Arthur walked into the DMLE head’s office to find Amelia packing. “Something wrong?” he asked with more than a little concern in his voice.

Amelia smiled as she looked up. “Depends on your idea of wrong. I’ve been appointed to be the new Minister of Magic.”

Arthur’s eyebrow raised. “Don’t you mean elected.”

Amelia laughed. “No, the Wizengammot decided with the current situation it would be more prudent to appoint an interim Minister then have proper elections when the term ends.”

“Ah,” Arthur said with a smile, “and the reason they didn’t choose Umbridge? Not that I’m complaining.”

Amelia snorted. “After her little fiasco at Hogwarts, she’s been demoted to Holding Cell Sanitation.”

“Still too good for her,” Arthur muttered. “So who do you have in mind for your under secretary?”

“I don’t know,” Amelia said with a grin. “How do you feel about being under me?”

Arthur snorted. “I think there is some rule about fraternization.”

Amelia’s grin widened. “I wasn’t talking about the job.”

Arthur coughed in surprise. “Well that was certainly forward.” he sat on the edge of the desk. “Should we talk about where this is all going?”

Amelia looked at her former desk with an appraising eye. “I think the desk is strong enough to hold both of us. Just let me lock the door.”

Arthur stared in shock as Amelia cast a locking charm on the door and started undoing her clothes. “Just what do you think you’re doing?”

Amelia raised an eyebrow. “You have seven children, Arthur. I doubt I have to explain it. Especially after last night.”

Arthur blushed. “This is hardly the place.”

Amelia snorted. “That didn’t used to stop you. Remember the Astronomy Tower?”

Arthur groaned and let out a soft chuckle. “I forgot how you liked your spontaneity.”

She mock glared as she shed her blouse and skirt. “I seem to recall that it was you that wanted to do it under the quidditch bleachers during the Gryffindor-Hufflepuff game sixth year. Then there was behind the bar at the Slug Club Party. And let us not forget up against the entrance to the Hufflepuff warren.”

Arthur chuckled and started undoing his shirt. “You were the one that wanted to do it under the study table in the Library.”

“True,” Amelia conceded as she removed her bra. “But who was it that wanted to do it in the Prefects bath while there were three other prefects in there at the time.”

“That was you,” Arthur dead panned as he sat up on the table. “You were also the one that tried to arrange a three-way with Narcissa Black.”

“I would have gotten away with it too if it wasn’t for that bastard Malfoy,” Amelia muttered as she turned her attentions to Arthur, undoing the man’s belt and trousers. “So what do you say, Arthur dear? One good time on the desk before it’s no longer mine?”

Arthur shrugged and gave a grin as Amelia pulled him free of his boxers. “Why change tack now?”

***

Neville gave the group a gimlet stare as he paced in front of them. Not even a week had gone by and he was seeing their discipline had all but vanished. The problem he had was that he wasn’t inspiring like Harry. Neville wouldn’t be able to rely on Harry’s charisma to pull them back into some semblance of order. He also didn’t have Hermione to help him with researching new spells or Ginny’s zeal to embarrass the others into trying to keep up. Hell, Luna had even disappeared sometime in the last couple days so he couldn’t use her to knock some of the mouthier ones off balance. That only left one tool for Neville to use and he wasn’t sure how effective it would be.

“Eleven Death Eaters at the Department of Mysteries facing off against six teens,” Neville began pacing in front of them. “Two of the teens wouldn’t even take their O.W.L.s for a year. Those six held off the Death Eaters for over twenty minutes and took seven of them down before help arrived. Six people. Ron Weasley, Ginny Weasley, Luna Lovegood, Hermione Granger, Harry Potter, and myself. Six people that had the same training that the lot of you had last year. Where were you?”

He paused and looked at them for a second before continuing. “Bones Manor attacked by a force of twenty Death Eaters with three moles on the inside. The second I heard my friend was in trouble, I went in wand ready. I fought with everything I had and in the end was able to make sure two of our number were still standing. Where were you?”

He fought the growl threatening to escape as he paced in front of these children. “Everyday we hear reports of Death Eater attacks and rumors of muggleborns being killed on the rise. Some happening in the very neighborhoods that our friends and classmates are from. Where are you? You have the training. I know because I was right there beside you. You have Harry’s words in your head just like me. Never back down. Never leave a friend behind. So where were you when your friends needed you most!”

He turned and stood tall and proud addressing the entire group. “We named the group Dumbledore’s Army as a joke full of false bravado. Now we need a force to actually fight against the coming dark and I see Albus Dumbledore as a man that has grown far to weary to do what must be done. I will stand with Harry Potter against the coming darkness. I will stand with Hermione Granger to defend the innocent. I will stand with Ginny Weasley and rage against my enemies with my dying breath. I will stand with Luna Lovegood and make sure the light shall never fall. I will stand and make myself known to my enemies. I will stand and charge the gates of Hell with my brother and sisters at my side. I will stand! Who will stand with me!”

The group was more than a little stunned at Neville’s impassioned speech. Silence reigned for several seconds before a lone voice called out. “I will stand.” Neville looked and saw that it was Colin Creevey who stepped forward and tried to look as sure as Neville. “That is if you’d have me sir. I mean, I’m a target anyway. I might as well do some good while I’m here.”

Neville gave him a smile before hearing another shout, “I will stand.” Neville looked up and saw Terry Boot make his way through the crowd. The Ravenclaw looked at Neville and shrugged. “It’s the only logical course of action. Stand together or die separately.”

“I will stand.” This time it was Hannah who pushed Susan aside and walked up to Neville. “Like I told you last night, I belong to-er with you.”

A chorus of “I will stand,” came from a group of Gryffindors: Dean Thomas, Katie Bell, Lavender Brown and Fay Dunbar. It was answered by a matching chorus from the Hufflepuffs: Susan Bones, Ernie Macmillan, Oliver Rivers, and Justin Finch-Fletchley. It was in turned matched by some Ravenclaws: Lisa Turpin, Su Li, Morag MacDougal, and Anthony Goldstein. This was followed by a cry from Lily Moon, then another from Roger Malone.

Before another could shout a sharp whistle broke the atmosphere. Neville turned and saw the three that he knew would be the toughest converts: Cormac McLaggan, Zacharias Smith, and Cho Chang. It was Zach who had whistled and it was this pompous git that decided to speak. “Really good speech there Longbottom. Did Potter leave it for you?”

Neville just stared levelly at the trio. “Nope. Came up with it all on my own. So what do you three have to say for yourselves? Will you stand?”

“What makes you think your so special?” Cormac sneered. “Hell, I’ve seen you cast. You’re barely above a squib.”

Neville smiled casually feeling more sure of him by the second. “I was using my father’s wand until recently. My Gran thought of it as a tribute to him. Turns out it wasn’t compatible. Want to give this one a try?” With that he casually pulled his wand from its holster. “Tell you what, why don’t the three of you and I have a little duel. I’ll even limit myself to stunners.”

The trio looked at each other, a bit nervous at Neville’s sudden confidence, but agreed. Neville nodded for everyone else to step back. “No one interfere. This is between me and them.”

The three stood nervously and pulled out their wands. Each was waiting for the other two to go first. Neville stood casually, waiting for them to make up their mind. “Whenever your ready.”

Cho was the first to move, snapping off a curse which met Neville’s shield. She was quickly followed by both Smith and McLaggan trying to catch him off guard. Neville side stepped Smith’s curse and batted McLaggan’s curse back at him. The other two were startled by McLaggan’s scream as all his hair was ripped out of his body. Neville nailed him with a mercy Stunner before moving. “That the best you’ve got?”

Smith growled and started throwing curses rapidly as Chang held up a shield trying to protect them both. Neville began dodging back and forth and occasionally throwing up a shield at the last minute. As he saw them starting to flag, Neville grinned. “My turn,” he muttered as he dropped his shield, dropped between their latest two spells and fired off two stunners, incapacitating them both.

Neville then stood, walked over to the three and casually picked up their wands before turning back to the group. “Any questions?” He then turned and called out, “Basil. Blossom.” The two elves appeared and bowed before Neville continued. “Basil, I need you to take these three beyond the wards and remove their access to the grounds. They are no longer welcome. Blossom, I’d like you to take everyone that wishes to stay to rooms in the south wing.” Neville then turned back to the crowd. “Those of you willing to stand, we will begin training first thing in the morning. Susan and Hannah, you’ll have the room assignments we’ve already discussed. The rest of you will be two to a room. I don’t want two people from the same house sharing a room and unless I give express permission the pairings had better be of the same gender. This is training, not bed hopping.”

Dean looked thoughtful before calling out. “What if we’re wanting to have a relationship?”

Neville shrugged and headed towards the greenhouses. “Meh. Fine, whatever. Just clear it with me before you do it and it won’t interfere with training. Am I clear?”

The entire crew responded in unison. “Yes sir.”

***

Hermione was on her back gasping for air after her first “light jog” with Tonks. She had come to believe that Wizards and Witches were inherently lazy from what she had seen at school and her experience at the Burrow. Now she was starting to realize that this might not be the case, especially since this “light jog” had been about four kilometers and Tonks had decided to liven it up with silent stinging hexes. At four in the bloody morning!

“Come on,” Tonks called to her, “You continue to lay about like that and you’ll cramp up.”

Hermione gave Tonks a two fingered salute and continued to lay there gasping for breath. “Fucking...sadist,” Hermione panted. She suddenly found herself jerked up and shoved against a wall.

“You think Death Eaters are going to wait for you to catch your breath?” Tonks hissed in her ear. “I’m doing this to keep you alive damn it. Maybe you need a lesson in doing what your told.”

Hermione felt her shorts ripped off her by a banishing charm quickly followed by her smalls. Before she could protest, she felt a sharp pain across her backside accompanied by a sharp “Crack”. The young woman cried out in shock and a bit of pain before she heard Tonks voice in her ear again.

“Your going to count them off and I’ll decide when you’ve had enough for the day.” Tonks breath on her neck made Hermione shiver. “I know you like being in charge, but when I’m giving you something that is going to keep you alive is not the time to piss me off. Am I clear?”

Hermione nodded only to receive another crack on the ass. “One. Yes Ma’am.”

“That wasn’t one,” Tonks growled in her ear. “I’ll tell you when to start, and for the time being until you start doing enough to make me proud of you I think you should call me mistress so we’ve got things understood. Agreed?”

Hermione felt a bit of a guilty shiver. “Yes mistress,” she whimpered.

“Good,” Tonks said in a bit of a softer tone. “Now, begin counting.”

*Crack* “One!”

*Crack* “Two!”

This continued until a count of ten and Tonks finally let Hermione kneel and compose herself somewhat. Hermione realized at some point she had begun sobbing and that her face likely looked a mess, but at the current point couldn’t bring herself to care. She felt the touch of a cool wet rag and looked up into the concerned eyes of her teacher and quickly becoming lover. Oh, how was she going to sort this out with Parvati and Padma?

Tonks gently wiped Hermione’s face before continuing in a soft voice. “I don’t like having to do that, but I’m trying to keep you alive. Now, maybe I started a bit fast for you but you still need to work out your muscles before you get too sore to move. How about we make use of your parents pool and keep you from hurting later on while I’m at my shift?”  
Hermione nodded absently and made to stand. “Just let me go get my swim trunks and-“

“No trunks,” Tonks stated. “Just finish stripping down. In fact I think that may become part of our routine back here. You want to wear clothes after our run during the workout, you got to earn them back.”

Hermione gaped a second at Tonks level expression before asking, “What if someone sees us?”

Tonks chuckled. “I’ve got Muggle, Wizard, and Goblin repelling wards on this back yard. The only thing that might see us is a stray cat or dog. Well Crookshanks too, but I doubt he’ll say anything. Now get those clothes off and lets get your arse in that pool.”

Hermione swallowed and took off her t-shirt and sports bra and quietly followed Tonks over to the pool. It struck her as a little odd that the female Auror hadn’t shed her own clothes yet but Hermione wasn’t about to say anything for fear of getting another spanking. Tonks simply pointed for Hermione to get in which was the only prompting the young woman needed. 

The water was cool but not unpleasant and she noticed Tonks sit at the edge of the pool and dangle her feet in the water after transfiguring her shorts into a skirt. “Lets start off a bit slow this time,” the Auror called out. “Twenty laps and try to pace yourself, you’re not running a race and I won’t throw stingers at you.”

“You’re not joining me?” Hermione asked and saw a frown on Tonks face which got her to quickly add, “Mistress?”

Tonks gave her a wry smile before shaking her head. “I did my work out before I showed up this morning. Your warm up was my cool down. Now, get to swimming.”

The laps went by fairly quickly and Hermione found her apprehension at her current state of attire lessen greatly as her newly minted mistress watched her the entire time. When she had finished her last lap, Hermione saw Tonks wave her over.

Hermione stopped just between Tonks skirt covered legs and looked up at her. “Is there anything else Mistress?” Hermione asked trying to be as submissive as her own ego would allow her. She saw Tonks smile at the request and knew, however hard it was, that she had done something right.

“That’s enough exercise,” Tonks said with a smile. “I’m going to leave you with some books to read over today while I’m at work. Don’t practice the spells just yet, just read up on the theory. I want to be here in case you hurt yourself so that I can heal any injuries. Also, I’m going to take you out on a date tonight. I’ll make sure to send you what to wear, but don’t add anything to what comes to you. Understand?”

Hermione nodded, having already done something like this to the Patil sisters herself. “Is that everything Mistress?”

Tonks playfully shook her head and started lifting the skirt. “No. I have an hour till I have to be at work and my new little student back talked me. Now I’ve already punished her, but I believe she owes me an apology.”

Hermione swallowed a bit as she watched the skirt rise. Merlin, Hermione thought at the scene before her, fully aware as to what Tonks meant and actually more than eager to provide. She looked up and smiled innocently at Tonks before leaning down towards the woman’s crotch. “Well I was a bad girl and should let you know just how sorry I am. Are you sure I have enough time to properly apologize?”

Tonks ran her hand through Hermione’s hair. “If you haven’t finished before I head to work, then you’ll just have to start over at dinner tonight.”

Hermione hid a smirk. “Then I’ll just have to do my best,” she whispered before placing a kiss just below the waistband of the skirt.

***

Ginny was crouched on a rooftop staring down at the residence of one Walden McNair. The plan was a fairly simple one: Wait for him to leave the house for the day and then go in and set up an accident. All she had to do was watch and wait for him to leave. She looked down at her watch to find it was 8:30 am. “When does this guy go to work?” she muttered to herself.

Her question was answered moments later when she saw what had to be the definition of the crooked man stagger down the road to the house. She gaped as he fumbled with his keys before leaning against the door and literally falling in.

“You have got to be kidding me,” she muttered as she continued to stare incredulously at the still open door and the unconscious man just inside.

She waited a few more minutes, watching the empty street intently for signs of a trap, before slipping from her perch and making her way to the passed out drunk that she realized was one Walden McNair. She quickly pulled out her alternate wand and hit him with a quick stunner just to be sure and began searching his house. What she found would have several top Aurors vomiting, but Ginny realized that she had quickly developed a detachment to the situation. Another thing probably left by good old Tom and will have to be explored and discussed with her mind healer. Joy. 

There were things that Ginny was sure would be useful down the road, including some empowerment rituals that would be really useful after she bonded with the horned serpent. In fact, it looked like Walden was looking to be doing a few empowerment rituals himself as Ginny found Mohra Demon blood, Giant blood, a crystal containing the essence of a banshee and enough other ritual ingredients for two rituals. It wasn’t much longer before she found the instructions for the ritual. All of this went into a stash pouch on her belt. Waste not want not. 

She continued going through the house, collecting odds and ends before returning to the stunned death eater and slipped a small vial into his mouth. She then levitated and positioned him in a chair before enervating him. She sat across from him, fully covered by the black body suit even her face.

Walden blinked and began to come around when he saw his assassin sitting across from him. “Who are you? What are you doing in my-“ McNair was cut off by a sharp pain starting in his chest and rapidly spreading to the rest of his body. He quickly spasmed out of his chair and began writhing on the floor in horrific pain as the covered woman watched impassively.

“Walden McNair,” Ginny declared in an almost dead sounding voice, “you have conspired against the welfare of the magical world. You allied yourself with one who seeks our destruction and betrayed the world for your own petty desires. Even worse, you allowed yourself to be branded like a common animal, promising your magic to this false lord of yours and sought to further empower him by empowering yourself. The only fitting punishment is death. When you are found it will be assumed accident or suicide. So it has been ordained, so shall it be done.”

She continued to watch as his body went through the last death throws before returning to what she had been doing, carefully collecting anything from the house of a potentially useful nature but would raise too many questions if she were to procure them herself. When she had pocketed the fifth vial of unicorn blood, Ginny heard the front door re-open and a voice call out.

“Walden? Walden, are you up yet?” 

Ginny couldn’t believe her ears. She quietly disillusioned herself and slipped out to where she could get a better look. Soon her thoughts were confirmed as the toad-like visage of Dolores Umbridge came into view. Ginny slipped back and tried to think of what she had done in a past life to get the two easiest targets on her list back to back. Granted this one was one she put on the list, but there was no doubt that she was just as much a threat to Harry as any death eater was.

Dolores sat down heavily on the couch and glared at McNair’s body as if it didn’t surprise her. “Drunk again. Not that I can blame you and at least this time you made it inside. I swear it is just insulting what they have us, proper purebloods, doing. Cleaning out cages like some lowly peons. I can’t wait until Lammas when we can do the rituals and increase our power to get our revenge on our enemies. Especially that brat Potter and his friends. Then we can set Britain on a proper course.”

Ginny rolled her eyes and flicked a quick stunner at the woman before she could react. Ginny then calmly walked over and searched the former High Inquisitor’s person before finding a key, likely to a room upstairs that she hadn’t tried to break into yet. The young witch smirked as she went upstairs and explored the room, finding even more things that could make her future easier: a quill made from a sphinx feather, a ceremonial dagger made from what looked to be a dementor’s bone, a chalice made from the skull of a baby dragon, and a box containing two blood quills. 

Ginny gave a small smile as she collected a small stack of parchment and made her way downstairs. She pulled a table over to Dolores and placed one of the blood quills in her hand. Ginny smiled as the magic bonded to the other witch almost instantly. Ginny then picked up McNair’s wand and intoned “Verumserus” before touching the tip of the quill.   
The blood quill flashed gold then red, signifying the spell had taken effect. Ginny then whispered softly, just barely loud enough to hear, “The one who holds you has committed many crimes. You will document all her crimes as decreed by law, be it Muggle or Magical, as well as her sins as deemed by the faiths of man.”

Almost instantly the quill began to write and Ginny watched as the toad-like woman began to twitch in her artificial stupor. Ginny hit her with another stunner before leaving, being sure to lock the door behind her. She then made her way back up to her former perch, redressed in her less noticeable attire and made her way back several blocks to where the Knight bus had dropped her off earlier. 

Once she had made her way home, she went into her bedroom, stripped off her clothes, and went to the shower. She was starting to get worried that she wasn’t feeling anything about what she had done when the water from the shower hit her back. As if the was the much needed catalyst, tears began streaming down Ginny’s face. Not for the two monsters in human guise that she had been forced to dispatch, but rather for her own innocence. She remembered what Sirius had warned her about in some of the lessons. She was going to become a monster, that she had no doubt. But the sacrifice would be worth it if no other child had to face the wickedness she had been exposed to at no more than eleven years of age.

She let the water cascade down her body, washing away the wickedness she began that morning. After clearing her head as well as cleansing her body, she returned to the room and went to the sill in her room that the horned serpent had taken to sleeping on. She knelt next to it and ran her hand over its body.

{“When would we have to do the bonding?”} she asked softly, not wanting to startle the magnificent creature.

The snake looked at her evenly. {“I thought you wanted to think about it.”}

{“I did,”} she responded. {“I also stumbled on the preparations for a couple rituals that will make me more powerful and as those are time sensitive, I wanted to know how long it would take to absorb your magic so that it wouldn’t disrupt the magic.”}

{Is that all?”}

Ginny hung her head. {“I killed two people today and didn’t feel anything during it happening. When I finally did, it was anger at what they were doing to me than any remorse. Is there something wrong with me?”}

The snake slid around her body and hissed comfortingly in her ear. {“Oh hatchling, there is nothing wrong with you, just different from those around you. You are a King’s Druid. You feel the call of the land to be cleansed. Those you hunt are enemies of the land and the worst monsters imaginable. Of course you feel no remorse for them, as they deserve none. As for the first question...” the snake wrapped its body around her neck to where its head rested between her breasts and the rest of its body wrapped around hers with it’s tail disappearing between her legs. “I believe it would just be best to show you.”

Ginny gasped as both her and the horned serpent’s magic flared and filled the room with a green and gold light. When the light cleared, Ginny was alone in her room sporting a new full body blue serpent tattoo with its horned head buried in her cleavage and its tail ending between her legs. She also felt like she could take on the entire inner circle by her self and bend Bellatrix over before finishing her off. That caused Ginny to blink and look at herself. 

“Okay that was more than a little weird,” Ginny muttered as she shakily stood and made her way over to the mirror. She stood there for a minute checking out her body before she realized that she may be feeling a bit overconfident. “Okay, so I may need to watch myself when I do those empowerment rituals.” She looked at the clock and realized that Bill wouldn’t get home for another five hours and she could take a bit of a nap. “And maybe take care of a few things while I’m at it,” she whispered to herself as she slipped under the covers without putting a thing on.

***

Once again Harry was wakened by pounding on the hotel room door. “Hope this isn’t going to become a regular thing,” Harry mumbled to Fleur as he tried to extricate himself from the bed. A task that was made even more difficult by Fleur playfully stymieing his attempts. “Fleur,” Harry growled, “There is someone at the door.”

“Let them come back later,” Fleur murmured as she pulled him into a deep kiss.

The pounding became more insistent and was joined by Kim’s whining plea. “Haaarrrrryyyy, get the door. My head hurts.”

The kiss stopped and Fleur looked at Harry incredulously. “You let them in last night?”

Harry shook his head. “They both have door keys.”

“I’ll get it,” Cassie groaned as the pounding started for a third time. “Woah, room spinny. Got up too fast. Urp!” This was followed by the sounds of a mad dash to the bathroom and the sound of retching.

Fleur rolled her eyes and sighed. “Go.”

Harry staggered out of the bed and slid his pants on before heading to the door. He glanced briefly at the couch and saw a blanket that barely covered Kim’s apparently nude body. “Kim, your arse is showing.” He chuckled as she wrapped the blanket back over her body and shot him a very un-ladylike middle finger. With a breath, Harry braced himself for whatever was behind the door.

What he found when he opened the door was Luna dressed in a white knee length dress and Dobby bent over trying to catch his breath. Before Harry could form a coherent word, Dobby spoke up. “Mister Harry Potter sir, Dobby be understanding that you is having to get away from whiskered wanker and finds out just who Mister Harry Potter sir is, but did you is having to go so bloody far? Dobby think he may have ruptured something with that last jump.”

Luna rolled her eyes and shoved Dobby playfully. “Drama queen. Hi Harry. I told you I would see you in a week. Can I come in or are all the girls bashful?”

“Luna?” Harry asked quickly followed by, “Dobby?”

Luna simply smiled and made her way into the room with Dobby quickly following. “Oh good, they’re not bashful about their bodies.”

The blanket covered form on the couch re-wrapped herself and sent another bird in the door’s direction. 

Luna giggled. “You do realize that doesn’t have as much meaning to a Brit right?”

“I’m in pain and was molested last night,” the blanket covered girl mumbled. “I’m trying not to dwell on the fact that I was a willing participant in the molestation last night.”  
“Just go into the bedroom with Fleur while I try to find out what Luna and Dobby are doing here,” Harry said with a groan. “I’ll look into getting you and Cassie your own room later.”

“Why?” asked Luna. “I mean it seems kind of silly when we’ll be leaving for Sunnydale tomorrow.”

“Kim can have the bed to herself if she wants,” Fleur responded as she walked out in a rather short hotel robe. “I’m awake and sober so maybe I can help sort out Lunette’s reasoning.”

Luna squealed and raced over to hug Fleur. “I told you that you’d sleep with the man of my dreams before I would.”

Fleur smiled softly at Luna and kissed her on the head. “You could have let me know that I’d find him in bed with two other woman before hand. It would have made a bit less of a shock.”

Kim grumbled about noise and began crawling towards the bed room, absently leaving behind the blanket and giving everyone a rather impressive view of her backside. Luna cocked her head and watched Kim’s retreating posterior. “Please tell me we’re going to keep her,” the younger blonde muttered to the elder. 

“If I have anything to say about it,” Fleur confirmed.

Harry pinched the bridge of his nose and cleared his throat. “Could we get back to why you are here, Luna? And just how do you two know each other?”

Fleur laughed. “Luna and I met during the Tri-wizard tournament. She was a rather enjoyable bit of fresh air after dealing with all the annoying little book worms at the Ravenclaw table. The fact that she had a bit of seer ability also made things more than a little interesting.”

“As to why I am here,” Luna began, “it’s a bit of a three part process. The first part actually belongs to Dobby and will only include a brief addition on my part.”

The two Witches and the Wizard looked at Dobby who was beginning to squirm uncomfortably. “Dobby is being sorry,” the little elf began, “but Dobby has been a bad little elf and bonded to Mister Harry Potter sir without his knowledge. Dobby is be having a reason but it not a very good one and Mister Harry Potter has every right to be mad at Dobby and be kicking his arse from here to Surrey the long way, but Dobby hopes that Mister Harry Potter sir will hear Dobby’s reason before starting with the kicking of the arse.”

Harry looked a little annoyed but waved the elf on. “You had better start with exactly when you bonded with me so I know just how cross I should be with you.”

Dobby took a deep breath. “Dobby is being bonded with you since five minutes after being freed by bad old cock sucking master. Dobby wanted to be free but if I was freed at that moment then I would have died within a month.” Dobby blinked and stood a bit taller. The trio also noticed that his ears had shrunk a bit. Dobby smiled and continued on. “I didn’t tell you because I was afraid you would get upset. I just kept feeding you magic over that first summer to keep you from dying under the weight of the wards and help you heal from the last bit of damage from the basilisk venom. Of course, that sort of resulted in you having enough power to turn your cousin’s aunt into a balloon, so I had to cut back after you were in Diagon Alley.”

Dobby gasped as he suddenly grew a foot and was sporting a mop of black hair on his head. “Wow,” Dobby muttered, “confession is good for more than the soul. Anyway, knowing that your aunt would freak if I started cleaning around the house, I approached the whiskered bastard for a job at Hogwarts since I knew you considered that place more a home than the Dursley’s. After a rousing game of castrate the head bastard for trying to bind me to him, he agreed to pay me a wage and stay the hell out of my way. I did my best to help you and Hermione while stopping the Weasel’s attempts at poisoning you and her up through the past year, but was stopped from joining you by...a personal matter.”   
Dobby’s magic flared and he was suddenly nearly five foot tall and looked almost human save for somewhat larger eyes and some dramatically pointed ears. His black hair nearly reached the top of his shoulders and his pillow case was now shredded on the floor, giving a rather impressive view of his swimmer’s build right down to...

“Oh my,” both Witches breathed out as Harry blinked and gaped at his friend.

“Dobby,” Harry said in a somewhat strangled voice, “How about putting something on so we can continue this without anyone becoming distracted.”

“Right,” Dobby said with a nod before disappearing and reappearing in a butler’s uniform. “Hope you don’t mind Master Harry,” Dobby said with a grin. “I charged the Potter accounts.”

“Continue,” Harry dead panned.

“Right,” Dobby said with a bit of a blush. “Like I said, a personal matter stopped me from being there to help you at the ministry as well as the fact that I had been less than honest with you. After it, Miss Lovegood had been able to point out that I was hurting not only myself but you with what I was doing and after helping out with my private matter suggested that she and I help you this summer with your issues.”

“What Dobby isn’t telling you is that his private matter was Winky being so into the cups that she had begun selling her body,” Luna commented as she picked up the tale. “He asked me to bond with her and I only agreed on the condition that he come completely clean with you and agree to help me with my plan to help you. Of course what I didn’t tell him was that when an elf master relationship is built on trust and friendship, the bond becomes stronger and the elf becomes more powerful. That’s why he looks like this. I expect that Winky will look similar to Dobby when she has fully recovered from her butter beer abuse.”

Harry nodded and looked at Dobby. “I’m not going to lie. I’m a bit upset with you, but I understand where you were coming from. I didn’t have the best life growing up and it’s good to know that I actually did have someone looking out for me the last few years. You will have days off. You will get a wage. You will wear a uniform. You won’t punish yourself. You will be honest and truthful with me in all our dealings. Agree to all those and we’ll be good.”

Dobby shrugged. “Miss Lovegood said the same thing. I’ve no complaints Master Harry.”

Harry turned to Luna and was about to ask about her when she cut him off. “So how’d you like meeting the King?”

“Huh?”

Luna rolled her eyes and picked up their marriage certificate. “Elvis, Harry. You know the king of rock and roll. What did you think of him?”

Harry blinked then snorted. “He wasn’t really Elvis Luna.”

Luna handed the marriage certificate to Harry. “You two are magicals so he can use his real name on our documents. By the way, congratulations on your bonded marriage.”  
Harry stared at the marriage certificate, namely the line that said “officiant: Elvis Aaron Presley”, for a minute before registering the second comment. “Wait, bonded marriage? What does that mean?”

Fleur grabbed the certificate and groaned as she read it. “It means we can’t get a divorce. Our magic must have bonded while we were letting our mouths move without thinking.”

“But what does that mean?” Harry asked. 

“It means that your magical cores are bound together,” Luna explained. “You can draw on the others magic if necessary and the two of you will get a bit of a boost to your power.”

“There are down sides as well,” Fleur muttered.

“The dying together thing is a myth,” Luna shot back. “My mother and father were bonded.”

“It usually drives the survivor insane,” Fleur corrected. “If you’re lucky, you just shut down.”

“Lucky!” Luna snarled. “You think my father was lucky! He buried himself in his work and confuses me for my mother! It would have been better if he’d lost it and ripped that toad in half!”

Harry stepped back and looked at Luna. “Luna, what...what happened?”

Luna shook herself and visibly calmed herself. “It’s not important right now Harry. I promise to tell you later. Needless to say, there are alternatives that will keep that from happening. In fact, I’m here to do just that.”

“What do you mean?” 

Luna smiled widely. “I’m here to be your Lady Black.”

“What!” Harry and Fleur screamed getting moaning protests from the bathroom and bedroom.

Luna sighed and shook her head. “The best way to counter a bond crashing is to be bonded to more than one person. Also, the fact that I fit all of your requirements would make me the perfect Lady Black.”

“How do you even know about this?” Harry demanded.

“Harry, I’m a seer.”

Harry rolled his eyes. “Fine, then enlighten me on these requirements.”

Luna sat down and crossed her legs before counting off her points on her fingers. “One, I am a pureblood running back four generations on my father’s side and six on my mother’s. Two, no member of any pureblood house can find any legitimate objection to my being the Lady of the house. Three, there is only about two months difference between us in age. Four, the fact that it is me is going to drive all the pure bloods absolutely livid. And five, I’m your friend and you know that I won’t hurt you.”

“Damn,” Harry groused. “She’s got me. Still, I was hoping to wait on any further marriages. At least until after school started.”

Luna shook her head. “No good. Bondings are outlawed in Britain and Dumbledore will arrange Fleur’s murder thinking it will bring you back under his influence. Instead, you’ll go into a berserker rage and kill several dozen people including Dumbledore himself before detonating in the Ministry of Magic and wiping out half of Britain.”

Harry looked at Luna horrified before finally asking. “Would I at least take out Voldemort?”

“Nope.”

“Well damn.” Harry sat down next to Luna and looked at her. “You don’t have to do this if you don’t want to.”

Luna rolled her eyes and looked at Harry. “Trust me, I want to. Especially if what I’ve seen of your manhood is accurate.”

“Oh you were,” Fleur replied with a smirk before sitting on Luna’s other side. “In fact he may be a tad bigger.”

Luna’s eyes crossed a bit before she mumbled. “Maybe we should have a look before we go get married.”

***

Amelia screamed in frustration at the knock at her soon to be former office door. “So fucking close.”

Arthur chuckled from where he was pressed against her. “I believe I’ve already gotten you off about six times, but I could be mistaken.”

“Seven,” she replied as she slid away from him and slipped her robes over her head. “Call me greedy, but I wanted more.” Amelia attempted to compose herself before opening the door to growl at the Auror stupid enough to interrupt her impromptu farewell christening of her former office. “Someone better have died,” she growled at a very bewildered Kingsley Shacklebolt.

“Um, well...funny you should mention that,” Kingsley stammered as he handed her the case file. “Walden McNair and Dolores Umbridge were found dead at McNair’s cottage. He was poisoned and she...well she wrote herself to death.”

Amelia looked up from the file at his last words. “How does someone write themselves to death?”

Kingsley shrugged. “She used a blood quill to confess all her crimes...at least I hope she finished by the time she ran out of blood. There were over a hundred pages.”  
Amelia blinked before replying, “I guess the rumors about her at Hogwarts were true then. How were they found?”

“Alastor Jenkins went looking for McNair when he didn’t show up for his shift,” Kingsley explained. “Seems McNair ties one on every couple of days and Jenkins was getting more than a little fed up with McNair just skiving off whenever he wanted to. When he walked in on them like that, Jenkins called the DMLE.”

Amelia nodded. “Anything to suggest this was anything other than a murder suicide?”

“No ma’am,” Kingsley answered, “but Scrimgeour wants to do a full investigation.”

Amelia slapped the file back into Kingsley’s chest. “Tell Rufus to do his campaigning on his own time. Two despicable people decide to end their lives doesn’t even whisper priority to me. Hell, half the Wizengamot would give someone an award for offing either of them. So lets just close the case and save the tax payers some money.”

“Yes ma’am.” 

“Oh and Kingsley.”

“Yes ma’am?”

Amelia gave the senior Auror a small smirk. “I’m appointing you as head of the DMLE. Just promise me you won’t get rid of my favorite desk.”

Kingsley brightened at that. “Of course ma’am. I’ll make sure of it.”

Amelia shut the door, reapplied the silencing charm and added a notice me not charm before removing her robe. “Now about that eighth...”

***

Fay Dunbar walked up to the door leading to Neville’s private quarters more than a bit nervous. She had been hoping that she could talk to him about...Well she wasn’t quite sure how to put it. She was attracted to him definitely. She had been since second year. It had broke her heart when he’d asked Ginny Weasley to the Yule Ball fourth year. Then she had spent the night comforting a crying Hermione Granger, then making out with her. 

The next day, they had admitted that it was just a one time moment of weakness, but she came to find herself staring at the girl’s lips. Then at other girls lips. Her mind began forming all sorts of scenarios with her and other girls making out, among other things. Then things took an even stranger turn when she began fantasizing about Neville watching her with these other girls if not actively joining them.

She shook the thoughts from her mind and was about to knock when she heard Neville speak. “Is that too tight?”

“You almost split me in two last night and now you’re worried about hurting me?” a girl’s voice shot back. 

“Hannah, I didn’t mean-“

“Oh, I’m not complaining,” the girl, now identified as Hannah Abbot, cut him off. “I was just finding it funny. It’s actually kind of loose. Could you tighten them up a bit?”

Fay heard a series of grunts and groans before she worked up the nerve to actually knock. The door was quickly answered by Neville. “Um...Fay?” Neville stammered. “W-what can I do for you?”

Fay quirked an eyebrow. “That depends,” she began, “What are you doing for Hannah?”

Neville paled at the implication. “I forgot the silencing charms, didn’t I.”

Fay nodded. “Having a spot of trouble?”

Neville groaned. “You’re not going to tell anyone are you?”

Fay shrugged and leaned against the door jam. “Depends. What’s in it for me?”

Neville sighed. “This is blackmail.”

“No,” Fay corrected, “this is extortion and I think you’re overreacting a bit. You haven’t even heard what I want yet.”

Neville rolled his eyes and made a “get on with it” gesture.

“Well,” Fay drawled as she looked at her nails, “I was coming over here to confess my attraction to you and hope that we could see if there was something more between us.”  
“So you want me to break things off with Hannah,” Neville dead panned.

Fay snorted. “Heavens no. I want to join in.”

“Huh?”

Fay leveled a gaze at Neville and bit her lip. “I’ve admitted to being attracted to you, Neville. What probably isn’t a surprise to most of the girls in our house is that I’m also attracted to several of our fellow year mates and would like to have a chance to explore that part of my sexuality.”

Neville’s eyebrows quickly tried to meet his hair line. “Really? Who?”

Fay shrugged her shoulders again. “Oh let’s see. Susan Bones, Su Li, Lisa Turpin, Pavarti and Padma Patil, Morag MacDougal. I would include Hermione, but we already made out. Of course, Hannah is also on that list. And the thought of you watching while we did stuff...” Fay shivered in pleasure.

“The thought of a guy watching you fool around with a girl turns you on?” Neville asked incredulously.

“No,” Fay corrected, “You watching me fool around with a girl turns me on. You actually participating with both of us is even hotter.”

Neville’s reply was cut off by a low throaty moan from the room. He turned back into the room, letting the door swing open. “Hannah, are you alright?”

“Um, maybe?” Came the timid reply.

Curious, Fay peeked through the door to find Hannah tied spread eagle to the foot of the four poster bed. Though the restraints looked to be able to allow her to stand, it looked that she was ready to collapse.

“What happened?” Neville asked with worry.

Hannah took a shuddering breath before replying. “I was listening to what you were saying and then when she was talking about doing things with me and then when she...” Hannah shuddered again. “Oh the thought of the two of you having your way with me. I think I may have messed myself.”

Neville opened and closed his mouth several times before looking back at Fay. “So, how are you at knots?”

Fay smirked as she sauntered into the room. “Well as my brother the boy scout says, be prepared.” 

***

Draco lay in bed with Blaise snuggled up against him and the paperwork sent by the goblins laid out before him. He looked at the papers in exasperation. What had at first seemed to be such a simple idea turned out to be anything but. 

First, the original family name hadn’t been Malfoy but Morfey. The “bad faith” name had been branded on Draco’s duplicitous great grandfather Malcolm had tried to destroy the family in Brittany over a desperate gambit to make him, the fourth son, the sole heir to the family fortune. The whole thing went tits up when the second son, Augustine, had to pass on the dinner that Malcolm had arranged to be attacked by a rival family (ironically the Lestranges) leaving no survivors. 

Both brothers had sworn a blood feud against each other, but Augustine being the older was able to invoke family magics to have Malcolm removed from the family and branded for his evil acts. Malcolm hid in Britain, while Augustine demanded the nation hand him over. The feud was cooled by the first and second world wars, but not before Augustine cursed the line. Apparently, the line would not be free of the curse until one received the headship without malice toward their predecessor. 

There was also the matter of the blood feud itself. Draco had to meet with the current head of the family, Christian, to find some way to end the feud peacefully. It would seriously suck if he gave the headship of the Malfoy family to Longbottom only for the boy to end up being hunted by some belligerent French noble. He only hoped that they didn’t want money.

That was what the third packet had detailed. Thanks to his father, the Malfoy family was property wealthy but very cash poor. It seemed that his father had been borrowing heavily from the Black family fortune and while the debt had been able to be repaid with the sale of several family properties, there was very little in the way of actual money. Only the fact that his tuition had been paid in advance before his first year secured his reentrance into Hogwarts. 

Draco sighed and ran his hand through Blaise’s hair absently before turning to the fourth and final packet. It was all the mail that the goblins had deemed safe enough to forward to him. Daphne and Tracey being invited to a boot camp with Longbottom. Pansy getting pressured by her father to find Draco. Crabbe being lost without Goyle and wanting Draco to come back (not going to happen). An offer by Dumbledore to become a spy for him in the Death Eaters (really not going to happen). A threat from Nott. A threat from Pucey. A letter from Severus promising to boot his arse if he even considers taking Dumbledore up on his offer. A threat from aunt Bella. An invite for tea from aunt Andy with a request of any information on a Hermione Granger...

Draco sat up and smirked at the letter. “Well, well, well. So Nymie’s picked Granger for a playmate.”

Blaise cracked an eye open. “Hermione Granger? I thought the money was on her sucking off Potter.”

Draco rolled his eyes. “And I’m supposed to be shagging Pansy while you’re doing Davis.”

“Point,” Blaise conceded as he read over the letter. “So what are you going to tell your aunt?”

Draco shrugged. “I figured I’d talk to Dora and Granger before I said anything. Besides, I still have to figure out what to do about mother.”

Blaise frowned in thought. “You’re right. If only she wasn’t so...”

“Submissive?” Draco offered with a smirk. “I think your mother finds that quite advantageous.”

Blaise snorted. “Of course she does. How often does one get a broken in toy? Have you thought any further on her offer?”

Draco nodded absently. “I’m probably going to take her up on it. At least mother would be taken care of until I’m out of school.”

“So long as she’s a good toy,” Blaise snarked. “I can’t believe you would pimp your mother out like this.”

Draco put down his papers and glared at Blaise. “I’m not pimping her out. I am asking your mother to take care of my mother for the next two school years. What is decided after that will be up to them. Behind these wards, even the Dark Lord would pause to try attacking her.”

“And all the while she will be my mother’s plaything,” Blaise countered.

“She doesn’t seem to mind.”

“Of course she doesn’t!” Blaise shouted. “She doesn’t have any will of her own thanks to your bastard father!”

Draco leaned back. “What do you want me to do about it? Forbid our mothers from fucking? Lock her in a room? Put her in a convent? Just what options do I have?”

“Maybe we should talk to mother,” Blaise suggested. “Perhaps she can rebuild some of her self confidence and make her more self sufficient.”

Before Draco could respond a loud lusty moan echoed down the halls. “Tomorrow,” Draco stated definitively. “I’m not fool enough to stand between a Zabini and an orgasm.”

***


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey look, it's Phil. Also more fun with our favorite targets...um, characters

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If you don’t know that we don’t own any of this, then you seriously need to climb out from under a rock. This is just the random musings of a demented mind. No money is being made off of this so please do not attempt litigation as I don’t have any money to begin with. Also there are scenes in this story of an adult nature, including sex, violence, random drug use, Bawdy humor, and generally teens behaving badly. If this offends you then you might not want to read. If you are under an age where reading this kind of material is generally frowned on, please stop reading as I will not be held responsible for corrupting your mind...that is what school and your father’s porn stash are for.

Chapter 5

The trick of alternate realities is that somehow in closely related realities individuals still manage to end up in similar positions. The names may change somewhat or how they go about it may be somewhat different, but they still end up on the same sides of the law following their personal crusades. An example of this could be Batman keeping the streets of Gotham clean while in another reality Sergeant Bruce Wayne of the NYPD is hauling down the latest hoodlum caught by your friendly neighborhood Spider-man and in a third Agent Wayne of the Federal Bureau of Investigation is checking into a series over several states trying to find the mysterious Red John with the help of Patrick Jane.

Now why would I mention this? Because there are some people who would find it quite fascinating that one Phillip Coulson who in many worlds was a promising agent of a government agency known as SHIELD was in this particular reality a dedicated member of Checkmate (though is far less tolerant of Amanda Waller and her paranoia than he would have been of a certain one eyed curmudgeon) and was currently assigned to keep an eye on a Las Vegas hotel room containing two high profile teen heroes and now three other teens. 

“What do you want in your coffee?” came the shout from the door distracting Phil from his current assignment and causing him to sigh again.

“Nothing,” Phil shouted back. “In fact, I’m fine with what we have here. Why must you go down to that blasted coffee shop every five minutes, Prince? We’re supposed to be keeping a low profile.”

“It’d be more suspicious if we never left the room,” Agent Prince shot back. “That is unless we had evidence that we were doing something else. As you said we were siblings, even that would call more questions than answers. I’ll be back in twenty.”

Phil returned to keeping his eyes on the hotel room. If he were honest, it looked to be nothing more than a party as one of the other teens seems to have come into some kind of inheritance and the others were doing their best to help him spend it. He groaned as he recalled telling Waller exactly that a week ago when he and the DMA agent Prince were assigned to keep an eye on them. Waller was convinced that they were training new members and bringing Possible in as a new Teen Titan. 

Phil blinked as he saw the newest girl, who according to the bugs in the room was named Luna, waved at him and smiled. Phil picked up his secured cell and hit the auto dial as the girl held up a sign that read “I may be a bit of an exhibitionist but could you please turn off you surveillance equipment while I get in to my wedding dress? I want it to be a surprise for Harry.”

“Waller here,” came the harsh voice over the line.

“We’ve been compromised,” Phil answered.

“How?” Waller asked in shock. “You’re not even in the same hotel!”

“One of the guests just held up a sign asking me to turn off the surveillance equipment while she gets in her wedding dress.”

There was silence over the line before Waller asked. “Are you sure you got the right room?”

Phil rolled his eyes. “Sandsmark is currently enjoying a shower with Possible and the boy. Would you like to know which one is currently giving him a blowjob?”

“And the other one?”

“Packing,” Phil dead panned. “Apparently they bought a vehicle sight unseen and are going to be leaving in the morning after another wedding.”

“Another wedding?”

Phil sighed. “The three unknowns are apparently Homo magi and thus out of our purview under UN charter.”

“Fuck! You and Prince clean everything up and get back to Washington.”

Phil fought the snort that threatened to come out. “Yes Ma’am.” He finished the call and started packing the equipment. He was almost finished when Agent Prince had returned with the coffee. Coulson looked up and cocked an eyebrow. “You’ll have to find some other way to keep an eye on your cousin Agent Prince. We’ve been called back to Washington.”

Diana gaped for a second before responding. “Why were we recalled and what do you mean cousin?”

Phil sat back and looked at the woman. “We were compromised. As for the second matter, aside from your dead on physical resemblance to your alter ego, your identity was rather poorly crafted which makes me believe you tried to do it on your own rather than have the detective do it. The fact that you leave at the same time everyday leads me to believe that you are checking back with either the JLA watchtower or directly back to Batman himself. A fact that he has no doubt criticized you on considering that you always come back more than a little annoyed. 

“As they haven’t done anything illegal, I’m guessing you just wanted an excuse to check the young man out, which I have taken the liberty of doing for you.” He pulled out a file and dropped it down in front of her before pulling two others out and dropping them on top of the first. “Along with the other two that have shown up the last couple days. You’re welcome.”

Diana looked at the files before looking at Phil. “Why are you doing this?”

Phil shrugged before picking up his case. “Not everyone in Checkmate believes that Metahumans are an ever present threat. We’re just led by a woman that makes Lex Luthor looked like the poster child for mental stability.” He made his way to the door only to pause before opening it. “I would advise being cautious with Mister Potter. If what I’ve found is accurate, which I have little doubt it hasn’t been at least a little exaggerated, then he is likely one of those that tends to shoot first and ask questions later. I’ll see you in Washington.”

Diana paused as she looked down at the files before collecting them and touching a concealed earpiece. “Wonder Woman to Watchtower, one to transport.”

***

Hermione wasn’t sure what to expect when she had found the floor length black dress in the box on her bed. She had been slightly more nervous when she had found that it was skin tight and would leave little to the imagination. The last thing she expected was to find Tonks sweeping her off to a Ministry function full of movers and shakers in the wizarding world. “What is this?”

Tonks grinned. “Why it is a ball to celebrate Kingsley being made head of the DMLE and Madam Bones becoming the interim Minister of Magic. Contrary to popular belief Aurors do have balls, they just tend to be great gaudy things that are for the most part pointless.”

Hermione snorted. “I think I would have noticed them when I was down there thank you very much.”

Tonks swatted her young lover on the arse before chastising, “You had better be on your best behavior missy. I pulled quite a few strings to get you in here. Dawlish was more than a little put out that he couldn’t try to force me into taking him.”

Hermione looked at Tonks more than a little concerned. “This isn’t going to cause you any trouble is it?”

Tonks smiled and kissed Hermione on the cheek. “Nah, Shack and Madam Bones both gave me the okay. I just don’t want you getting into it with the likes of Avery or Nott.”

Hermione smiled, “Does that mean we can have a dance tonight?” 

Tonks laughed and led her lover around the room, introducing Hermione to a variety of different movers and shakers. Though many of the people she introduced Hermione to were at least polite, it was quickly becoming apparent to the young Auror that there was more than a little condensation from these so-called power players towards a Muggleborn girl.

Just as Tonks was about to tell a rather pompous jackass just what he could do with his influence, Minister Bones came by with her escort, Arthur Weasley. “I was wondering when I was going to be introduced to the one member of the Ministry six that was able to make it to our little celebration,”Amelia said with a smile. 

Hermione gave a gracious smile. “My apologies Minister Bones. Mister Ogden was just telling me how I would need an appropriate mentor if I expected to get anywhere in the Ministry.” She then drew a wide eyed and almost innocent expression. “He said that he could even get me an audience with Harry Potter.”

Amelia snorted. “Well I imagine it would be quite a feat to get a visitation with your best friend, Miss Granger.” She then turned and raised an eyebrow towards the man. “Really Tiberius, not back on the Wizengamot a week and already harassing young ladies and pandering your influence with Albus Dumbledore. Have you no shame?”

Ogden looked at Hermione and scowled. “I had no idea this little chit was one of that group of delinquents. If I had, I doubt I would have wasted my time.”

Hermione smile turned into a vicious grin. “I would be careful of throwing allegations around about two lords, the children of the current Minister’s companion, and the daughter of a publisher. Granted one of them was later to be found under the influence of a duplicitous individual-“

“Albus Dumbledore is a good man!” snarled Ogden. “I’ll not have some know-it-all mudblood defame him!”

Before Hermione could respond, she was surprised to see Tonks’ fist connect with the Wizengamot member’s face. Everyone, including Tonks, stared at the Auror’s fist as Ogden crumpled to the ground. Tonks caught the glancing nod of approval from not only Amelia, but also Kingsley and Arthur. 

“What was that for!” came a shout of outrage from the floor. 

Tonks found herself glaring at the man and growling, “No one insults my girl.”

Hermione placed a comforting hand on her lover’s shoulder (yes there would seriously have to be a conversation before school). “Nym, maybe we should go somewhere and talk.” After getting an affirmative nod from Tonks she then looked down at Ogden. “And for the record I was referring to Molly Prewitt, though it is fascinating that when I said duplicitous you instantly jumped to Dumbledore.”

Amelia desperately tried to keep a straight face as the couple walked away. “I recommend you save yourself any more embarrassment Tiberius,” she said as both she and Arthur turned away. 

Ogden glared at the new director of the DMLE. “What are you going to do about the blatant assault on my person!”

Kingsley shrugged. “She’ll be suspended with pay until it can be determined whether the assault was warranted or not.”

“And who will be making that determination?”

Hermione shut out the rest of the conversation as she led Tonks over to an alcove and looked her in the eyes. “Care to explain?”

Tonks still looked somewhere between shock and anger. “I’m not going to let some tosser talk down to you like that. They want to fire me that’s fine, but you deserve better than that. And don’t give me any guff about you being able to-“ Tonks tirade was cut off by soft lips pressing against hers. Her eager response was only hindered by her initial surprise. 

Hermione pulled away reluctantly and stared into Tonks...No Nymphadora’s eyes. “Thank you.”

Her lover looked at Hermione and smiled softly. “I’m sorry but you’re not going to get to dance. I’m going to have to take you home.”

Hermione nodded. “Okay.”

“My home,” Tonks added a bit more huskily.

“Okay,” Hermione repeated.

“For the night.”

“Not seeing a problem here.”

“Where I’m going to rip that dress off you and make you scream my name.”

“Nym,” Hermione huffed in exasperation. “I find nothing wrong with this plan. Now will you take me home and fuck me?”

Tonks blinked before nodding and apparating the two of them away.

***

Ginny sat at her desk and went over her list. Of the original twelve, the three Aurors had bit it in the attack on Bones Manor, one of the ministry workers had hung himself rather than face his lord’s wrath and then there was her little Job with Walden and the Toad. That left eight people on her original list that needed to be taken care of. Nott and Avery were both at the Auror’s Ball with her father tonight and were really good at being hard to get. The three others on the Wizengamot (Parkinson, Carrow, and Rowle) were likewise difficult to get to, but not because of any care on their part. They were just too visible. That left the two shlubs still working in the ministry. 

Ginny thought about them for a minute. The easiest to get at was Gibbon who worked in portkey regulation. It would be nothing to catch him at work and arrange a “portkey accident” that sends his head to one country and his other limbs in different directions. Then there was Travers. A man who had seven different addresses and alternated his travel on a almost hourly basis. He was almost as paranoid as Nott.

Ginny shook her head and looked at her other list. The one that held the issues she knew she would have to deal with. The rituals were time sensitive but the date was fixed for some time off. It would be easier to pump the death eater kids for information once they were at least back on the express. Anything to deal with in Knockturn Alley would have to wait until after the rituals. That left Percy.

Ginny leaned back and sighed. She was not dealing with idiot brother number two this early into her summer holiday. So here she was, stuck in a holding pattern until she could figure out her next step. Bill had made her limit her time in the pensieve memories to a couple hours a day. Unfortunately it was also backed up by the therapist that Sirius had recommended her to and Padfoot’s own journal. Ginny sighed and picked up her papers before stuffing them back into the case with the pensieve. 

She looked at the clock and saw it was approaching ten in the evening. Dad was at a Ministry Ball with Amelia Bones and likely wouldn’t be home tonight. Not that she blamed him. Everyone deserves to be happy. Honestly, she wished he would spend more time with her. It would make her life easier.

Bill was off romancing some intern at Gringotts, trying to confirm his masculinity. Ginny had to laugh at the absurdity of her brother’s actions. How did he survive the Goblins when he would act so irrationally? Of course it could be that the Goblins found his reactions so entertaining that they kept him around for laughs. Ginny hoped this new girl wasn’t an air head like Bill’s last conquest. 

Ginny shuddered and thought about her other siblings. Charlie was still in Romania. The twins were working their way through the Harpies and a substantial amount of cannabis. Idiot number one was currently with Aunt Muriel and the Menace. That all meant that Ginny was going to be home alone tonight again.

Ginny sighed and went downstairs to find something to snack on and entertain herself. It was just six hours earlier when she found out that Luna had done a disappearing trick, only leaving a note saying “Ginny, Went to help Harry. Be shagged soon. Luna.” So she couldn’t even commiserate with her oldest friend.

Ginny sat at the table and began nibbling on a coconut ginger biscuit. She hated to admit it but she was bored. There just wasn’t anything for a single witch on her own to do. Well aside from flying on her broom, but that just didn’t seem interesting at the moment. She wanted a bit of...Excitement? Danger? She wasn’t sure what it was that she wanted more than to get her blood pumping. 

She wanted to feel the anticipation she had when she was waiting for McNair to show up. The whole thing had ended up being a bit of a let down. She wanted a thrill, but couldn’t just go looking for a fight. Her father and brothers would kill her. If only there was a way to get her blood pumping without actually being in danger.

Ginny was startled out of her musings by a knock at the door. Curious (and fairly certain that anyone wanting to kill her wouldn’t knock) she went to see who it was. She looked out to see Alicia Spinnet and Angelina Johnson both waving and holding a basket between them. She cautiously opened her door and looked at the two women. “What are you ladies doing here?”

It was Alicia who responded first. “We had a thought that since you’re the only girl in a house full of boys you might need a hand.”

“And that we might have some fun time with our favorite pranksters when we’re done,” Angelina added with a giggle.

Ginny stepped aside to allow the girls in before speaking. “Actually most days I’m the only one here with the occasional check in from Dad or Bill. Charlie’s still in Romania and the twins moved out over their shop, which is fine with me as I don’t want to be that familiar with my favorite quidditch team.”

Alicia sat the basket on the table and gave her a glance. “What do you mean by that?”

Ginny shrugged and returned to her seat. “Fred and George inherited the Hollyhead Harpies from Sirius and the rumors of the girls all being lesbian are less than truthful considering the two of them and Lee are working their way through the roster. At least that was what Bill gathered when he overheard a couple of the girls at a pub the other night. What’s in the basket?”

“What!” both ladies shouted in outrage before screaming out forms of torture that this writer will not repeat for fear of them being done to his person the next time he inevitably severely pisses off the women in his life as men are want to do...Okay maybe just a couple.

“I’m going to cut off their two-timing bollocks and force feed them back to the two little snakes before shoving a bludger up their arses!” screamed Angelina.

“Then tie them up by their cheating ankles to the top goal and fling bludgeoning hexes at them until their own sister won’t recognize them!” added Alicia before calming...somewhat. “No wait, I want them to suffer.”

Ginny blinked at the five minute tirade and hid a small smirk. “Wow, thanks for the tips on how to deal with relationship problems but I’d like to point out that neither of you ever staked an actual claim to either of my less than moral brothers. Therefore, what you’ve said would only get the sympathy of the ladies that are currently shagging them and you locked up. Now, what’s in the basket?”

Angelina scowled and looked at her friend. “She’s right. We never laid our claim and now they got a better offer.”

Alicia sighed and nodded. “Still, it would have been nice to have included us in the whole thing.”

“Yeah,” Angelina agreed before registering what her friend had said. “Wait. You wouldn’t mind being a part of a mostly female orgy?”

Alicia shrugged. “Fred and George are fun and all, but every once in a while a girl wants a good cuddle snog. What about you?”

Angelina blushed and looked away a bit. “I may have gone a bit further than a snog.”

Alicia grinned and sat down next to Ginny. “Who with and how far did you go?”

Ginny sat there torn between her curiosity as to the contents of the basket and wanting to know who did what at Hogwarts, so she held her tongue as she listened intently.  
Angelina bit her lip and seemed to debate on how much she should share before her shoulders sagged in defeat and she sat on Ginny’s other side. “You remember how Clearwater was always hanging around Percy and in a constant state of frustration right?”

Both Ginny and Alicia nodded before gasping in realization. “You didn’t,” Alicia whispered in shock.

Angelina groaned and rolled her eyes. “It wasn’t like it was something planned. Here I am looking for help with my OWL studies and the next thing I know I’m being drug into the prefects bath by the head girl by my mouth and having my robes jerked off me. I mean thanks to her I aced my transfiguration OWL, but I really could have done without knowing that I lost my virginity to a hedgehog wielding head girl.”

Alicia blinked and snickered. “You’re kidding.”

Angelina shook her head and stared down at the table. “I wish. She had her way with me for over two hours then set up a schedule for the rest of the year. By the time OWLs came around, I was prepared not only for the tests but also an intimate study of the female body. Then I go to ask her if she would like to continue outside of school on the express and what do I find? Her riding Percy bloody Weasley’s broom like it’s the best thing coming or going.”

“She used you?” Alicia asked incredulously.

Ginny scowled as she saw Angelina nod sadly. “Never liked her,” she muttered as Angelina looked on the verge of tears. “Please tell me that didn’t send you running into my brother’s arms.”

Angelina snorted. “Merlin no. I’ve always had a bit of a thing for gingers. She just opened my eyes to a few more possibilities. I’m not really upset about what we did and I was mostly willing. The thing with the gillyweed and the engorgio on my tongue still gives me a queezy feeling every once in a while, but most of the other stuff was good.”

“Would you do it again?” Alicia asked.

Angelina grinned. “Why? You offering?”

Ginny coughed to get her blush under control. “Um, intentionally changing the subject, mind telling me what’s in the basket now?”

Angelina and Alicia blinked and looked at the forgotten basket in unison. “Oh,” Alicia said in surprise. “Well, we were going to offer a bit of a late night snack and then slip off with our targeted Weasley for a bit of late night fun and games, so we brought a bit of nibbly bits and a couple bottles of Belladonna Vineyard’s finest. But since those rat bastards aren’t here...”

Ginny grinned and stood to open the basket. “Their loss. Besides, those jerks would likely rather a good fire whiskey.” She pulled out the first bottle and a container of strawberries. “And I can think of a two fold argument that makes sense for you to stay here to partake of this fine spread.”

“Oh?” Angelina asked with a raised eyebrow. “And what would these reasons be?”

Ginny grinned as she brought a strawberry up to her lips. “First, it would be irresponsible to go off drinking somewhere that there was no way to call if someone got hurt.”

Angelina nodded. “That would be a very good argument except for the fact that our flat has a floo connection and we wouldn’t start actually drinking until we got home.”

“Ah but that is where the second part of my argument comes into play. How irresponsible would it be of you to leave me alone here once you discovered that I am by my self?”

Alicia snorted. “Well it looks like she got us there.” She threw a calculating glance at Ginny before continuing. “Is there some ulterior motive you have cooking up in that brain of yours?”

Ginny shrugged as she opened the bottle of wine. “I’m bored and you two are the first interesting thing that has popped up tonight.” She took a sniff of the bottle before fetching three glasses and pouring a bit for each of them. “I also haven’t tried wine before and am more than a little curious.”

Alicia took the offered glass and continued to regard the young witch. “Do you always feel the need to try everything you’re curious about?”

Ginny smiled enigmatically before taking a sip from her glass. “I don’t know if need is the right word.”

***

Neville lay there motionless as a smug Fay was lounging on his chest and Hannah was curled up at his side looking a bit like a Christmas ham with the way the other woman had trussed her up. The primary reason Neville was so still was that he was trying to keep his eyes from crossing after the little play session the three of them had just taken part in. He could tell that Hannah was about to drift off, but Fay seemed ready and more than willing for a second round. Considering that the last round had resulted in Fay demonstrating her oral abilities which had left Neville in his current state, he wasn’t sure he was at the moment.

“G-give me a moment,” Neville finally stammered out. “Just let me catch my breath.”

Fay gave a low chuckle before crawling off Neville and curling up at his side opposite Hannah. “Relax Neville,” she murmured. “I think we all had enough for our first time together. You and Hannah will have to work a bit on your stamina, but things were more than pleasant for me.” She then laid her head on the young man’s shoulder and sighed.  
Neville nodded and started to drift off. “This is just so unreal,” he finally murmured. “Just a couple days ago I was single and thought of as a bit of a joke. Now I’ve got two girls, three if you count being responsible for Susan, have a small army of wizards and witches training for war and am head of my house. What’s next?”

“Looking up your genealogy to make sure just how many houses you have to repopulate,” Fay mumbled, sounding more than a little sleepy. “Then you can pull money out of those houses to help supply the group. You might also want to talk to Harry and Hermione when you get a chance, too. I’m sure they’re up to something and it’d be nice if you could coordinate.”

Neville snorted. “Harry won’t be back until around our birthdays. His’ godfather arranged for some adult fun for him. I sent a letter to Hermione, but she informed me that she’s getting private instruction from an Auror. As for the others that went with us, Luna dropped off the planet, Ginny is dealing with some personal issues, and if I see Ron around I may be tempted to just off him and save Harry the hassle.”

Fay sat up at the last words. “What did the great gilded git do this time?”

Neville cocked an eyebrow at her. “Gilded git?”

Fay grinned. “The Gryffindor golden trio: Harry’s the Shining Knight, Hermione’s the Brilliant Oracle, and Ron’s the Gilded Git.”

Neville barked a laugh. “And seeing as I’m probably going to take Ron’s place, what would you call me?”

Hannah surprised both of them and whispered, “The Radiant Lion.”

“Well said,” Fay praised. “Still, we need to figure out a way to continue our current sleeping arrangements at Hogwarts as well as plan for the upcoming war.”

“I’m open to suggestions,” Neville responded as he pulled both girls close. At Hannah’s gasp and low moan he added, “We might also want to untie Hannah before we leave marks.”

Fay snickered and set about undoing Hannah’s bindings. “Well the easiest way would be to marry one of us and set the other under a concubine contract. That is if you don’t have more than one house to propagate. I would also see about binding Susan under a line continuation contract and plowing her for all that she’s worth. I mean you’re going to have all the responsibility, you might as well have the fun to go along with it.”

Neville sighed. “We just got together Fay. Don’t you think there will be more than a few raised eyebrows at us getting together so quickly?”

“You could tell them it was a marriage contract,” Hannah offered. “Most people won’t even blink twice at that. I’m sure Amelia would agree to something similar with Susan. As for me, it’s pretty much an open secret that I was Susan’s so putting me in a concubine contract wouldn’t be that much of a shock.”

“Shouldn’t we ask what Susan wants though?” Neville protested. “I mean I’m pretty comfortable with things as they are. I’m not too sure if I’d like butting heads with another would be Dom in our little group.”

“I don’t think she really is,” Fay responded thoughtfully as she undid the last of Hannah’s bindings. “A true Dom wouldn’t have put up with you paddling her, especially not in front of her sub. I’m also proof that one doesn’t have to be purely one way or the other. You see that I like tying up women and having my way with them, but I also really liked when you pushed me down on Hannah and took me from behind.”

Hannah nodded in agreement. “Yeah, she’s right. I mean I had no complaints about Susan and she was really good to me most of the time, but there were things she wasn’t comfortable doing with me and she really didn’t seem comfortable with being in charge all the time. I guess you could call her a starter dom. Great to work out what you like with but definitely need someone with a bit more authority down the line.”

“So neither of you would have a problem if I drug her into this?” Neville asked.

Fay returned to her spot on Neville’s side. “You should still ask her. She might say no and then there is no harm no foul. But if she is interested, you should probably be firm about where she is in the pecking order and what you will or will not allow.”

Neville looked thoughtful. “Me, then you, then her and Hannah on the bottom until she proves herself. Only you or I are allowed to punish and Hannah is allowed to tell her no even after she has proven herself.”

Hannah giggled. “I’m not allowed to tell you or Fay no?”

Neville looked at her. “Is that likely to ever be an occurrence?”

Hannah shrugged. “Good point. What are your opinions on oral sex?”

“Greatly appreciated,” Neville shot back almost instantly.

“Good to know, Master.” With that, Hannah slid down his body under the covers, eliciting a gasp from Neville as her lips met his flesh. 

Fay grinned as she leaned in and kissed Neville. “Should I help her or stay up here?” she asked after releasing his lips.

Neville let out a groan as he felt Hannah beginning her own ministrations. “I don’t think she needs any help. How about you straddle my face and I thank you for your earlier efforts.”

Fay felt a thrill travel up her spine. “Yes Master,” she purred eagerly and began to do as told only to be stopped by Neville’s hand.

“And start thinking about an August wedding,” He added. “I want Harry to at least stand with me if you and I are to be wed.”

Fay simply nodded as she was allowed to finish assuming her requested position.

***

The self styled Lord Voldemort was in a quandary. Over the last several days (more accurately ever since being thrown out of Malfoy Manor) he had been feeling a slight pull on his magic. Not anything too bad at first, but it was noticeable. That tugging sensation stopped just the day before only to be replaced by something that felt like a probing sensation. When he had tried to focus on it, he was hit by the most excruciating pain. 

This led to his quandary. He had no idea what was going on but was loath to bring this up with any of his supporters. They would likely see this as some weakness, something the Dark Lord couldn’t allow. That was why he had discarded many of the forms of immortality he had looked into. The Lich’s Phylactery effectively capped one’s power. Their lesser cousin horcruxes caused madness and would eventually leech your magic. The philosopher’s stone meant you would have to constantly take the elixir to survive. Removing your heart left you without the survival instincts that were often what caused your downfall. 

That was why he had decided on the fate binding. He would survive so long as the oracle’s prophecy was not completed. Of course he would rest easier if he knew what the prophecy was. If only that blasted Dumbledore hadn’t caught Severus before he got the full prophecy, then he could just kill the boy and be done with it. Still, something was keeping him from killing the boy and always saving him.

He felt the probing again and tried to ignore it. Perhaps he could trust Severus. Granted the man was Dumbledore’s spy, but his giving Voldemort a part of the prophecy put the man in danger if Potter ever found out. 

The probing suddenly became a spiking pain and he heard what he could swear was Potter screaming. “Fuck! God mother son of a cock shit! Don’t you dare fucking stop! I’m gonna AARRGH!”

“What the hell was that!” screamed the dark lord as he held his head. He was barely aware as Wormtail and Bellatrix made their way into the room but was conscious enough to flick a crucio at Wormtail. “Get Severus,” the dark lord muttered before passing out.

***

“What,” Harry gasped as he leaned against the wall outside the wedding chapel. “What was that?” he barely got out as he tried to regain some composure as Luna re-zipped his trousers.

“Did I do it wrong?” Luna asked worriedly.

Harry rapidly shook his head. “Just wanted to know what it was so I can ask for it in the future.”

Harry could hear Fleur laughing off to the side as he tried to get his body to respond properly. He shot her a glare as he straightened himself . “I’m taking Luna back to the room. Do you wish to join us?”

Fleur shook her head. “I’m going to show these ladies how to properly celebrate a wedding and possibly get Luna some everyday clothes for when we get to Sunnydale. You two have fun.”

After Harry disapparated with Luna, Fleur looked at the two ladies. “So which shall we do first?”

Cassie and Kim looked at each other before Kim asked, “What are our choices?”

Fleur smirked. “Shopping or sex.”

Kim gaped before responding, “Shouldn’t you only be having sex with your husband?”

Fleur raised an eyebrow. “Weren’t you having sex with my husband just a couple hours ago?”

Kim blushed. “Good point.”

Cassie chuckled and held her hand out. “How about I go shopping for things for Luna and the rest of us while you go work out your relationship issues.”

Kim looked at Cassie in betrayal.

Cassie shrugged. “I wasn’t the one that cried out Fleur in the middle of an orgasm last night. I was the one that was getting her head squeezed between your thighs.”

Fleur chuckled and handed Cassie a credit card. “Kim and I will meet you at Yellowtail. Try not to bankrupt my father.”

Cassie chuckled as she took the card. “No promises. Have fun.”

Fleur then took Kim into her arms and disapparated with a crack only to reappear in a place somewhat familiar to Kim. 

Kim looked down at her hometown in Colorado with a bit of shock. “What are we doing here?”

Fleur led her over to a rocky ledge and had her sit down. “I thought I’d try a bit of romance and familiarity. I prefer seducing my lovers than plying them with alcohol.”

Kim glanced at Fleur nervously. “I take it that means you’ve had more than a couple lovers.”

“A few,” Fleur confirmed. “Being a virgin in the magical world is more than a little hazardous after one turns fourteen and I found that I enjoyed sex rather early on.”

“With men or women?” Kim found herself asking.

“Yes.”

Kim blinked and was silent for a long moment. “Cassie and Harry were my firsts. I’m afraid of what will happen when I go home and that comes out.”

“Why is that?” Fleur asked as she knelt next to Kim’s side, giving the younger woman a very good view of her cleavage.

Kim swallowed and looked away. “A friend of mine took me to our junior prom towards the end of the school year. It was just after I had a rather nasty fight with one of my greatest rivals and I was kinda vulnerable at the time. He...He kissed me.”

“And?” Fleur prompted, placing her hand on Kim’s knee.

Kim sighed. “And I think he’s been working up the nerve to ask me out since then.”

“And how do you feel about that?”

Kim laughed sadly. “He’s been my best friend since pre-kindergarten. I almost feel like I should at least give him a chance.”

“I am sensing a but here,” Fleur said with a small smile.

“When I kissed him, it was...nice. Not good. Not great. Just nice. When I kiss Harry...” Kim shuddered in pleasure. “And you just have to look at me to make me weak in the knees. I could be Ron’s whole world, so why do I just want to be a part of some poly-amorous harem?”

Fleur looked somewhat thoughtful before asking, “What do you want out of life, Kimberly?”

“I figure I’ll either go for my PhD or be a medical doctor like mom,” Kim answered automatically.

“Is that what you want?”

Kim turned to look at Fleur and was momentarily stunned by the beauty of the woman staring up at her. “I...I don’t know.”

Fleur smiled reassuringly. “Believe it or not, there is only a year’s difference between us. I was certain before I read that letter that I would be a Gringott’s curse breaker. Now here I am married to the young man that humbled me a year ago and kneeling before the young woman I have admired for years. I honestly can not say I know where we are going to be even a year from now, I know who I would like it to be with.”

“You want me to marry Harry,” Kim said with a smile. 

“No,” Fleur corrected. “I want you to marry me.” 

“That’s not legal,” Kim responded automatically.

“It is in the magical world,” Fleur corrected. “And seeing as I am a witch, I’m fairly certain we can marry. I don’t expect you to say yes right now and I’m not asking right now. What I am saying is that I want the opportunity to pursue you in a romantic fashion. Will you give me that opportunity?”

Kim bit her lip and put her hand on Fleur’s. “I don’t know,” she admitted. “Part of me wants to say yes. You’re obviously attracted to me. I’ll admit I’m attracted to you. It would also mean that I could be with Harry. But I’m also more than a little out of my depth. All of this is new to me. I mean really new. It’s all overwhelming and I don’t want to lose who I am in all of this.”

“What do you want, Kimberly?”

Kim closed her eyes and let her shoulders slump. “I want to go home.”

Fleur sighed and nodded. “Alright. I’ll take you home. Do you want to go now or would you rather wait until after supper?”

“Now please,” Kim said softly. “And thank you.”

“For what?”

Kim smiled. “For not pushing.”

Fleur stood and offered Kim a hand. “I would never press my interest on another.”

Kim took the woman’s hand and stood herself. “I know. Thank you anyways.”

Another apparation later and they were at the Possibles front door. Kim smiled and kissed Fleur on the cheek. She opened the door and paused before entering. “If you want,” Kim began hesitantly, “I’ll be free on Friday. I don’t want to leave Middleton, but if you’re willing to meet that term I could be talked into a date.”

Fleur smiled. “How does Friday at seven sound?”

Kim nodded. “I’ll see you then.”

“Be sure to dress casual,” Fleur responded before disappearing.

Kim shook her head and sighed before walking in and closing the door behind her.

***

The feathered freedom fighter known to the goblins as the white fury had finally been cleared from her stay in “Tahiti” (It’s a magical place...) And was more than ready to return to her mission of protecting her boy and striking at the heart of the dark wizards. Her current mission was to keep an eye on the greasy one and observe who came and went from his domain. The freedom fighter would have objected to this if the order had come down from anybody else than Mother Hat. She was a soldier and Mother Hat would direct her wherever he saw fit. 

The day was mostly boring (though the quick meal of squirrel tartar was a definite bonus) and the freedom fighter was about to bed down for the night when she saw the enemy agent silver paw making his way inconspicuously towards the greasy one’s house. She briefly debated interfering before deciding to hell with it and picked up a brick in her talons. She was a bird of action after all, not some sedentary desk agent. 

She quickly took to the air and after a second of careful aim, dropped her makeshift missile on her target, namely the rat’s pointy little head. She was rewarded with a sharp crack and a squeak of pain before the rodent went unconscious. She quickly concealed the body and called in through her mirror to Mother Hat.

“What is it Agent Hedwig?” Mother Hat asked as he came into view. 

The freedom fighter reported directly her success.

“Really? You got him? What does he have to say for himself?”

She responded he hadn’t said much of anything before being knocked unconscious by the brick she used and really she was an infiltrator not an interrogator. What did Mother Hat expect?

Mother Hat sighed. “Very well, I guess you’ll have to take him to Potter’s Shadow for interrogation. Try not to damage his brain too badly before she has a chance to interrogate him.”

The freedom fighter blinked in surprise and conveyed that she was unaware that the bushy haired one has progressed to that level of determination.

“Not her,” Mother Hat corrected. “The red haired terror. Black chose her directly due to her ruthlessness and knowledge of the abomination. I personally agree with his choice and will be assigning you to her until Potter is back in country.”

For the first time ever the freedom fighter questioned Mother Hat’s sanity.

“You have your orders agent Hedwig,” Mother Hat finished definitively. “Take the rat to the Shadow and assist her as requested. Mother Hat out.”

The freedom fighter sighed and collected the rat before taking off. She hoped he was dumb enough to attempt escaping before she got him in a charmed cage. Having the rat become a greasy stain would be absolutely hilarious.

***

Severus read through the papers that Lily had left him in fascination. Yes, there were pieces missing that he was certain he would have to arrange a deal with Potter to get them, but still there was enough for him to work on for centuries and never be bored. He had been momentarily startled by the proximity alarm, but finding nothing, he quickly returned to the treasure he had been left.

If these were right, he would be able to free the wolf of his curse and may even be thankful enough to concede to a date. It had broken Severus’ heart to find out that the object of his desire had been one of those frightening creatures, but Severus could now see hope for something more than pining away from afar. Perhaps...Perhaps... Severus wondered if the physical enhancements of the curse would be left behind. 

He also wondered if it were true about the size of a wizards wand and their...wand. He knew it was true with himself and the thought of it also being true with Remus...Severus squashed the thought in favor of working on something more tangible. 

The cure for Lycanthropy was only one of the many things Lily had left him. There was also a reformulated stamina potion with what she only referred to as “a most amusing side effect.” And then there was her work on runic arrays and technomancy. While it was over Severus’ head, he was sure that he could get some insight by working with some of the more creative Ravenclaws...or perhaps Granger. It would definitely earn him some points with Potter.

Severus leaned back and considered what he had learned over the last couple years. Up until last year, he had been led to believe that Potter was being treated like some pampered prince. That had of course turned out to be one of Dumbledore’s many lies. When he had found out the truth, he had looked into other things that he had always been suspicious of. He had been more disappointed than surprised about what he found.

In short, Albus was ruining his most necessary people to keep them loyal. Albus had secretly supported the anti-werewolf registration, had made sure Black had stayed in prison, had pushed for Arthur being marginalized, and had placed countless roadblocks in the ways of his most promising students. Why? Because if they were successful, then they would overshadow what Albus truly cherished: his precious little purebloods. There was even evidence that he had participated in the death of his half-blood step sister.  
Severus picked up yet another parchment and was momentarily taken aback as to what he was seeing. It was a set of runes to be inscribed on one’s body as part of an empowerment ritual. The ritual was very specific and required the two individuals taking part to be involved in the great rite on the winter solstice at midnight and both being covered in the runes before hand. “Give to Harry before his sixth year” was written on the top of the paper with “I’m serious Sev!” on the bottom.

Severus paused and looked thoughtful before getting another parchment and adding a few potion regiments and other recommended rituals to a small packet for Potter. Once he had completed the parcel, he set it aside for delivery with his other outgoing mail. He looked at the clock and saw that it was nearly four in the morning. 

He shook his head in exasperation. He was to have a meeting with Dumbledore and the other heads of house in five hours. He knew the headmaster wanted him to take the Defense position, a position that was the last thing he wanted. In truth, he had never really wanted it. The only reason he kept up the pretense was that it made his allegiance to Voldemort seem that much more believable. Now there was a very real chance that he could get it and he would most assuredly turn it down. 

Merlin, if he could find a way he’d just retire from teaching. The only students that showed any real promise this year were Granger, Boot, Draco, Zabini and as loathe as he was to say it Potter. With Draco deciding that he won’t sabotage Potter any more, the boy could actually turn out to be the best of them. There were even fewer promising ones in the year below them: Weasley, Lovegood, Parker, possibly Creevey. Beyond that seemed completely hopeless. 

Severus sighed and trudged off to bed, hoping for a few hours of sleep before he would have to be civil to his colleagues. Perhaps he would be fortunate and Albus would suffer a stroke.

***

Fleur made her way into the room where Harry and Luna were apparently sleeping and quietly removed her clothing. She knew that it was probably going to be poorly received, but she really didn’t want to be alone tonight and it just didn’t seem right to sleep with Cassie when there was really no chemistry between the two of them. 

“I take it that Kim went home,” Luna asked sleepily as Fleur’s smalls hit the floor.

Fleur looked over at the bed and saw her husband and his new wife watching her with a gaze that mixed desire and amusement in equal measure. “Yes,” she admitted with a blush. “I guess I came on a little too strong.”

Luna giggled and turned to kiss Harry’s nose. “You owe me a coke and a poke, Lord Black.”

Harry chuckled and kissed Luna’s neck. “You going to tell Fleur the rest of what you saw or are you going to make her sweat?”

Fleur blinked and glared at Luna. “You let me embarrass myself to win a bet.”

Luna rolled her eyes. “No, I let you set up a chance for us to get some Kimmie action down the road. She did get you to ask her out on a date Friday, yes?” At Fleur’s nod she continued. “That means she’s still interested. As long as you take it at her pace, which is faster than you may believe, you should be engaged to her by Christmas and married by Harry’s seventeenth birthday. You just have to be a little patient.”

Harry pinched Luna earning a squawk of surprise. “Come to bed Fleur,” he said cutting off his other wife’s protest. “I want you to hold this wiggly little tart while I finish claiming her.”

Fleur looked thoughtful before responding. “What would I get in return?”

Harry grinned as he pulled back the covers. “I’ll hold her while you claim her afterward.”

Luna whimpered and moaned as Harry began running his hands over her tender stomach. “Oh please say yes. I can’t wait until I’m just a gooey mess between the two of you.”

Fleur chuckled and climbed into bed. “How can I refuse such an exuberant offer?”

***

Draco sat down at breakfast and tried to ignore the byplay between his mother and Lucretia Zabini. This of course has him staring directly at his boyfriend glaring at him and motioning back to the scene that he was trying to ignore. Draco rolled his eyes and coughed politely. Merlin, how he wished he could bring this up when his mother wasn’t present.

“Lady Zabini,” he began nervously, “could I ask that you please tone down the...affection the two of you show each other. It has been making Blaise uncomfortable and lately even I have found it to be a bit much.”

Lucretia rolled her eyes and looked at Narcissa. “I guess we’re on Hogwarts standards until the children go back to school Sissy.”

Narcissa pouted. “Does this mean I won’t be allowed to sleep in your bed?”

Lucretia snorted. “Heavens no, just keep public displays of affection to a minimum. I will not ever deprive myself of your lovely tongue.”

Draco winced at their byplay and the growl from Blaise. “Um, that was another thing I wanted to talk to you about. Is there any way we could build my mother’s self confidence back up to where she’s...uh, how do I put this?”

“To where she’s no longer a door mat and a plaything to those around her,” Blaise growled out.

Draco blushed and looked down. “Yeah, something like that.”

Lucretia shrugged. “I wasn’t able to break the little attention slut of her meandering ways in seven years at Hogwarts. What makes you think I can do it over the course of the summer?”

Draco and Blaise looked at Lucretia with identical looks of shock. “What?”

Lucretia took a sip of her morning tea before explaining. “Narcissa was born without the usual stranger danger instinctive reaction. She also was born with a genetic anomaly that turns many nervous reactions into pleasure responses. The later was corrected when she was young so that she could recognize pain, but she had already become addicted to pleasurable experiences. Once she discovered sex, it was all over. The Blacks contained this problem by having her watched over by minders: first myself and then Lucius. I’m not ashamed to admit I may have taken liberties with her, but she was always more than a willing participant.”

Narcissa nodded. “I like having fun, and sex is fun.”

Draco shook his head trying to comprehend the picture laid out before him. “Wait, then what about the dom sub stuff we’ve seen between the two of you?”

Lucretia shrugged. “That’s always been one of your mother’s kinks.”

Narcissa nodded and smiled. “Andy and Bella used to lead me around on a doggy leash to keep me out of trouble. It’s kinda comforting once you get used to it.”

“And the gag?” Blaise asked.

“We were afraid the two of you were asleep and Narcissa is a bit of a screamer,” Lucretia explained. “I told you it wasn’t as bad as it looked.”

“So my father had nothing to do with this,” Draco clarified.

“Actually he’s probably why I’ve been so needy,” Narcissa explained. “You see, he hasn’t touched me since you were born. Why, if it wasn’t for the wolfhound and a jar of peanut butter I’d have not gotten any action at all.”

Draco turned green. “Really?”

Narcissa rolled her eyes. “Really Draco, do you believe everything an adult tells you? Yes, your father hasn’t touched me since you were born. No, I did not have sexual relations with the family dog. I do have my standards.”

Lucretia raised an eyebrow. “Arthur Weasley.”

“Oh like you wouldn’t have ridden his broom in school.”

Draco’s jaw hit the floor. “You slept with Arthur Weasley!”

“No,” Narcissa said glumly, “but not for lack of trying. I was lined up for a nice three way with him and ‘Bone me’ Bones, but that bastard Lucius interfered. I swear that man was gay. Even after school he spent more time with Severus than me.”

“In her defense Arthur does have a big dick,” Lucretia explained.

“I am not hearing this,” Draco declared as he put his hand over his ears.

“So I shouldn’t tell him about you and the Hufflepuff orgy?” Lucretia asked innocently.

“Fa la la la la la!!!”

***

Elsewhere, Handy Smurf looked up from his latest project. “Wow, what smurfed that? It sounds like when Papa tries to smurf us about his smurf life.”

As if on cue, Papa Smurf sat up from where he last passed out. “Did I ever tell you about the time I smurfed a House Elf?”


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> What Happens to Peter. Hermione and Tonks have a heart to heart. Neville's plans get a boost.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Still don't own it. Still not making money. Still allergic to lawyers (They make me break out into screaming and crying fits...it's all rather embarrassing). Still don't want kids reading this (hence the rating).

Chapter 6

Hermione purred as she luxuriated in the silk sheets and listened idly as Tonks bantered with Kingsley. Of course she was excused from the conversation due to the fact that her only piece of clothing in the apartment had literally been torn off her the previous night. The fact that she could see Tonks from where she was laying and more importantly see that the only concession to modesty the woman had made was a Weird Sisters t-shirt was sending Hermione into fits. She wanted her Nym back in bed and damn it her boss was fucking with their morning nookie.

She was about to float a quill over to start distracting her lover when the floo call ended and Tonks stood up looking at her oddly. “What is it?” Hermione asked. “Do we need to make an appearance at the DMLE?”

Tonks shook her head. “No, Kingsley put me on suspension with pay for show but it’s more a paid vacation because he’s dismissing the charges.” She sat down on the bed and looked at Hermione. “He had sent someone by your house earlier to let your parents know you were alright and found the house empty. Want to tell me what’s going on?”

Hermione huffed and looked away. “I’d rather get back to what we were doing before Kingsley called.”

“Hermione please,” Tonks whispered, “what is going on? I didn’t think anything of it at first but I haven’t seen your parents at all this summer. Did...did something happen?”  
Hermione snorted as she started tracing runes in the bed sheets. “I wish. That would give them an excuse. No, they’re in London until the end of the week working at their practice and then it’s off to Seville I believe this year. They usually just stay in town most weekends and entertain their friends and up until the start of my second year I stayed with my governess. Between second and third year, they took me with them to France and I thought we were actually going to be a family. Instead I spent most of that time with uncle Armand, learning about guns and other things that a young girl shouldn’t be exposed to.”

“Wait,” Tonks interrupted in realization. “You were at Grimauld last year a week before the Weasleys. I can’t believe I didn’t realize that.”

“My parents were thrilled that I wouldn’t be home to mess with things and they wouldn’t have to drag their deviant little accessory all across Tuscany. Like they have room to talk, fucking swingers. I know my family life is screwed to hell and back, Nym. No where near as bad as Neville, Harry or Luna, but definitely far from ideal. I guess that’s why we all sort of banded together: outcasts of Hogwarts unite.”

Tonks stared at Hermione intently before standing and stomping to her wardrobe. Hermione watched in surprise as the Auror pulled on a pair of jeans before tossing a shirt and jeans at her. “Get dressed,” Tonks ordered as she finished fastening her jeans.

“What?” Hermione replied, obviously stunned.

“Get dressed,” Tonks repeated. “We’re going to get your things and you are going to move in here.”

“Nym no,” Hermione protested. “I’m a big girl and can look after myself.”

Tonks snorted derisively. “Do you actually think I’m going to leave you alone after the last few days? You’d either be with me at the house or here, so why waste time on the commute?”

“But this place is barely big enough for you,” Hermione tried again. “I’d be continually underfoot.”

“Then we’ll just get a bigger place,” Tonks countered. “Sirius left me all that money and it’s not like I’m going to need a dowry.”

“You might,” Hermione mumbled as she dropped her gaze to the bed. “You never know.”

Tonks walked over and lifted Hermione’s chin before kissing her on the lips. “No I won’t,” she whispered huskily as she stared into her lover’s eyes. “Unless of course you intend to ask for one.”

“Nym,” Hermione whimpered back. “Padma and Parvati...”

“Will have to deal,” Tonks returned steadily. “I’m not letting you go. If you got a problem with that, tell me now.”

Hermione mutely shook her head.

“Then get dressed and let’s go get your stuff.”

“There’s no way to talk you out of this is there.” Hermione was staring at Tonks in awe. She hadn’t seen this side of her lover before. The possessiveness was something she wasn’t quite used to but comforting.

Tonks sighed and stroked Hermione’s face. “Hermione, you tell Harry this and I’ll deny it. I remember him being born. My mom was like a big sister to Lily and it was generally assumed that I would be the same for Harry. Then he was taken away and when we’re finally reunited, he was this abused and beaten little boy. It killed me to see him, my little brother, suffering and not being able to do a damn thing about it. Don’t make me go through that with someone else I love.”

Hermione sighed in defeat. “Fine, but I’m going in half on the house. Sirius left me some money as well.”

Tonks smiled. “Great, then we can get a better place. Any preferences on neighborhoods?”

Hermione shrugged. “I prefer civilization to country living.”

Tonks rolled her eyes as she stood up. “You do realize that anywhere we live will have a floo connection and after you take your apparation license exam, pretty much all of Britain will be open to you. Now get dressed so we can go get your things.”

Hermione climbed out of bed and smirked. “You could just apparate us over and I could get dressed over there.”

Tonks shook her head. “And we’d get nothing done. Get dressed.”

Hermione sighed and picked up the shirt. “Yes Mistress.”

“And don’t you forget it.”

***

Ginny woke and found herself staring at a particular snowy white owl perched on a golden cage holding an unconscious rat with a silver paw. She glanced to the left and found a nude and unconscious Angelina and found a similarly unclothed and passed out Alicia on her right. The pleasant soreness that she had never felt before told her that maybe drinking with two horny women and being ambivalent to the outcome was perhaps the wrong idea. 

She looked back at Hedwig and glared. “You don’t judge me for what happened here and I won’t judge you for what happens in the owlery.”

Hedwig looked down at her disdainfully and seemed to project an air of superiority.

“Three words,” Ginny warned, “Malfoy’s eagle owl.”

The owl suddenly looked abashed and quickly agreed.

“I take it that you caught Scabbers,” Ginny replied with a glance. After another nod from Hedwig, she sighed. “Take him to Luna’s and keep him unconscious until I get there. I’ll be along as soon as I can get rid of these two.”

The owl nodded and flew off with the cage. 

Ginny looked at the two witches and became thoughtful. She could just wake them up and allow a stammered apology and goodbye, but that just didn’t seem right. She had just lost her virginity to one of them (or both of them for all she knew). She sat up and considered her options carefully. 

A moral and ethical person would acknowledge that this was the result of too much alcohol and some really raw emotions. Thus if Ginny were to take the ethical path she would thank them for a wonderful evening and let everything drop. Ginny smirked as she admitted that she left ethics and morality behind when she agreed to be Harry’s Shadow. Hey, there had to be some perks to being an amoral saboteur and assassin.

Ginny mentally flipped a coin and settled on waking Alicia first. She slid back down and pressed her lips to Alicia’s allowing the other woman to respond and draw her deeper into the kiss. While she was really enjoying it, Ginny knew the real pay off would be when Alicia became more aware of her surroundings.

Alicia sighed and pulled back before she opened her eyes and realized who she was kissing. “Ginny?”

“Morning,” Ginny said softly, gazing lovingly into Alicia’s eyes. “How did you sleep?”

“Uh,” Alicia tried desperately to recall what had happened last night and was drawing a blank. “Good I guess. Last night...”

“Was amazing,” Ginny sighed. “You and Angelina were so understanding and generous with me. I...I know I’m being silly but do you think we could do that again some time?”

“Uh...” Alicia looked over at a still snoozing Angelina. “Perhaps we should wake Ange up before we make any plans.”

“Oh right,” Ginny said a little timidly. “Do you think I should um...”

Alicia shook her head. “Ange tends to startle easily.” She sat up and shook Angelina. “Hey Ange,” she called out. “You might want to wake up.”

Angelina started and jerked up. “Huh? Whazzup?”

“We’re in Ginny’s room,” Alicia pointed out. “With Ginny. In the buff.”

Angelina looked around, then at the other two ladies, then finally at her self. “Uh, last night...”

“Was absolutely brilliant,” Ginny enthused. “I really don’t know how to describe how it felt.”

Angelina groaned. “I’m so sorry Ginny,” she pleaded. “I can’t believe I did this to you.”

Ginny cocked her head in confusion. “What do you mean? I clearly remember being a willing participant.”

Angelina groaned. “You’re fourteen Ginny. We coerced you to participate in our own depraved desires.”

“Hold on,” Alicia countered. “When have you ever heard of a Weasley, any Weasley, being coerced into anything?”

“What she said,” Ginny agreed enthusiastically. “I went in to last night with my eyes open. I just hope that I was able to perform to you expectations.”

Both Alicia and Angelina looked at each other in shock before they nervously smiled at Ginny. “Y-you were great Ginny,” Alicia stuttered out. “Of course it was my first time with another girl. W-what do you think Ange?”

Angelina glared at Alicia before turning back to Ginny. “You were fine Ginny. I...I really would like to spend more time talking about this but Alicia and I need to get back to our place so we can go look for work.”

“You could shower here,” Ginny offered.

“NO!” Angelina shouted before she re-plastered her smile. “No. All our stuff is at the flat and it would just be easier to get ready there.”

Alicia nodded in agreement. “I’ll come back later to see how you’re doing and we can talk.”

Ginny shrugged. “If you’re sure.” She made her way to the bathroom. “I’ll see you later then.”

She closed the door and listened quietly.

“Do you remember what happened last night?” Angelina asked Alicia.

“It’s all a blank after Ginny suggested truth or dare,” Alicia responded quietly. “It’s obvious Ginny remembers though. What do we do?”

“Nothing,” Angelina hissed. “In a couple months, she’ll head back to Hogwarts and find someone else to fixate on.”

“Ange,” Alicia scolded, “We took her innocence.”

Ginny heard a snort that she was sure was Angelina. “You said it yourself. No one ever accused a Weasley of being innocent.”

“No, I said no one coerced a Weasley into doing something they didn’t want to do. Whether that was an informed decision is another matter. Remember the canary creams?”

Ginny had to bite her hand to keep from laughing at the discussion. 

“Look,” Angelina finally said, “if you want to find some way to make it up to Ginny, fine. Just leave me out of it. I don’t want a reputation as a cradle robber.”

A second later, Ginny heard two pops as the ladies disaparated. She leaned back and sighed. What had ended up happening was likely the best outcome. Angelina was too panicky about what had or could happen and would have obsessed if she hadn’t decided to put the whole thing out of her mind and Ginny was certain that Alicia was the more easy going one and more likely to help Ginny if she ever needed to take the edge off. 

Right this moment, Ginny felt the need for a shower before she went to deal with dear little Peter. As the water began to cascade down her body, she tried to reach back herself with the rudimentary occlumency skills she had developed with the help of the potions Padfoot left her. Of course this was boosted with some knowledge lifted from Tom’s possession and augmented by bonding with the horned serpent. 

She felt her hands washing her body slowly as she recalled a pair of rich chocolate eyes gazing into hers as a phallus transfigured from an empty wine bottle was being pressed into her. She could recall perfectly the woman’s lips crashing into hers as she was entered and how their other companion had long since passed out. Ginny sighed and smiled as she finished her shower and toweled off, feeling satisfied and more than a little eager at this new twist in her summer plans.

“Why Alicia,” Ginny said with a bit of a smirk, “Who knew you had it in you. Maybe we’ll have to see what else you’re willing to do with an eager and curious little fifth year.” She made her way back into her room and began pulling out clothes that wouldn’t be missed if she had need to dispose of them. “But first I have a rat to torture for information.”

***

Neville lead the morning jog and was more than a little disappointed by what he was seeing. Though he intentionally kept the pace fairly slow, there were still people that were falling behind. Now this was mostly Lavender (who he was sure had only ever run in her life if there had been a sale) and Anthony Goldstein (who he was certain had his butler do all his running for him), but the others were starting to look a little winded as well. In fact, the only ones that were keeping up with him and having no problems what so ever were Fay, Hannah, Susan and of all people Colin Creevey. 

Neville quickly called a halt and looked at the group in dismay. “Fay, continue leading everyone but Susan and Colin through some exercises. Hannah, you’re her second for this. I’ll be back after talking to these two.”

Fay snapped off a quick salute and a wink before turning back to the group. “Alright people spread out and start giving me some pushups, and I don’t want to see any of those girly ones from the knees!”

Neville chuckled and led the two he’d called out to the side. He looked at them both for a second before turning to Colin. “Alright, I know why Hannah and Susan were able to keep up. Madam Bones would have had a fit if they didn’t stay in shape. And from what I’ve been able to gather from Fay, her father is a military man and is about as hard on her. What I’d like to know is why you’re in such better shape than even the quidditch players out there.”

Colin shrugged. “I work out like I guess you do. Normally over the summer I’d be in one of the martial arts classes I usually sign up for. It helps keep me out of trouble given my hyperactivity.”

Neville raised an eyebrow. “What hyperactivity?”

Colin grinned. “You don’t see it because I usually make myself scarce and practice with the other Martial Artists at school when I’m not in class. You do realize that photography club is just a cover right?”

“I didn’t until now,” Neville admitted. “Who else is in this photography club?”

“It was mostly upper years,” Colin admitted, “but Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis, Wayne Hopkins, Padma Patil and Rion O’Neal from your year, and Wes Smith, Arwyn Quaid, and myself from my year. After us I think it just leaves Dennis and he’s not very good.”

Neville looked thoughtful. “Millie and Tracey are Slytherins but neutral. Padma and her sister are out of the country until late August. Rion said she had something to take care of and I never heard from Wayne.”

“You likely won’t,” Colin explained. “Wayne was going to a retreat for the summer. He won’t be back until just before we get on the express and then it will take him a week before he’ll be sociable again. As for Rion, she’s doing the tournament circuit until the end of July. I’ll write her and let her know what we’re doing here and she’ll likely be on board with it when she’s back in country.”

Neville nodded. “Okay, what about the others?”

Colin looked thoughtful. “I’d like to keep Dennis out of this because quite frankly he’s accident prone. Arwyn and Wes are good and would both be pretty good trainers. You might want to get in touch with Millie yourself as she’s really good in Sambo which I think you have the body for and Tracey is deadly with her savate and single stick styles. Wes has more modern combat training from his dad being in the SAS while Arwyn’s folks wanted her to be a good little elf and shopped her around to about as many classes as I’ve been in.”

“Arwyn’s an elf?” Susan blurted out, getting an annoyed glare from Colin.

“No,” he said irritably. “She’s a Muggleborn like Wes and me. Her parents are unfortunately Tolkien fans. I would recommend not making fun of her if you enjoy your nose in the shape and location it currently resides.”

Neville bit back a chuckle and pressed on. “Alright Susan, quit irritating the hands of death. Colin, quit threatening the naive Hufflepuff. Now, What do you know and would you be willing to train this group of reprobates along with your friends?”

Colin grinned. “Second question first: Sure. Just let me get in touch with Wes and Arwyn. They could be here tomorrow. I could even get Wes to stop by my house and get a few of my books. I think Millie and Tracey were going to contact you after they talked to their allies and got a feel for how the wind was blowing in Slytherin. All is not what it seems on the green and silver front. Rion will be all for it as well. 

“Now first question second: I’m a bit of a slap dash mix it together type. I’ve got a bit of Jeet Kun Do mixed with Krav Maga and a dash of Judo with a bit of Eskrima and Bartitsu thrown in for flavor. Of course to say any of us is pure anything is a bit of a laugh. A couple of us have been talking about building our own style from what we know, but we haven’t really worked it out yet.”

“That’s your job then,” Neville replied. “Work with Fay on a workout schedule as she’s my second in command for now.”

Colin nodded and went back to the group, taking up a position next to Fay and opposite Hannah as they continued exercising.

Neville then turned his attention to Susan. “Walk with me, Susan.” He then strode off toward the greenhouses leaving Susan to fall in line behind him. He was quiet for the entire walk until he had reached the smooth glass walls of the building. Without turning around he addressed the young woman. “Hannah and Fay have determined that they want to have a long term relationship with me. It turns out that Lady Dunbar and my mother had arranged a marriage contract on a lark, so there is no problem there and Hannah is more than willing to be put in a concubine contract. I intend to have this done by the end of August per their wishes.”

Susan nodded and tried to keep from tearing up. “Thank you for telling me. I knew I upset Hannah, but I didn’t realize how much.”

“I didn’t tell you this to upset you,” Neville clarified. “Neither one is opposed to you joining us if you are interested.”

Susan blinked and stared at him. “What?”

Neville turned and looked at her. “As you need a line continuation marriage, you would either have to be a second wife or marry a man that would be willing to give up his name. Now it is true that you did upset Hannah, but she is still worried about you and wants you to be safe. The question is what do you want?”

Susan looked at him for a few minutes before she responded. “I’d have a few conditions first.”

“No.”

That set Susan off guard. “Excuse me?”

Neville crossed his arms and leaned against the wall. “This is an all or nothing deal Susan. You either do this how I say, with my rules or this goes nowhere. You don’t get a say beyond this one time offer. You turn it down it won’t be offered again. We won’t force ourselves on you but Fay and I are the dominants in the relationship with me as alpha. Fay is my very willing Beta and you will be respectful and subservient to her. You will only be allowed to be over Hannah after we have determined you are able to handle the responsibility and not a moment before. You will do what we say when we say it or this will go no further. Now, what do you say?”

Susan opened and closed her mouth several times before sighing and dropping her head. “I don’t suppose I get time to think about this.”

“As long as it takes for me to get out of ear shot,” Neville responded.

“Fine,” she muttered. “It’s not like I’ve got much choice. Aunt Amelia is already considering the line continuation contract and I doubt Harry would put up with me and you’re at least not going to hurt me.”

Neville shrugged and grinned. “Aside from the occasional paddling and maybe some rough sex if we’re both in the mood,” he confirmed. “Now I just have to figure out some way to formalize this relationship.”

Susan looked at Neville nervously. “What do you have in mind?”

“Well,” he drawled as he eyed her up and down, “as Hannah has informed us that you are for all intents and purposes a virgin I would rather your deflowering be special and likely with Hannah and Fay present. However, I need a way to test your willingness to become a part of our little group. So what to do to test your resolve?”

Susan bit her lip before making up her mind and pulling off her shorts and t-shirt. She knelt before him in her bra and panties before whispering, “Do whatever you want to me.”

***

Dobby was cackling as he sent off the package off to Hogwarts courtesy Turbo Owl Delivery. “Soon,” The now five-foot-tall elf cackled as he watched the package wing away. “Soon it shall begin and the whiskered fucker will know why you never mess with a Potter elf.”

Cassie sat on the couch and eyed the elf suspiciously. “Do I want to know?”

“Probably not,” Dobby confirmed as he produced a bottle of Patron. “Midnight Margaritas?”

“Yes please.”

***

Remus growled in frustration as he finally got Buckbeak out into the back yard only to find that the damn hippogriff was more than able to not only leave but had been for most of the last year. He left a snickering Charlie Weasley to take the fucking bird back to Romania with him and decided to clear out another room before tackling the mess in the master. “Stupid fecking bird,” Remus muttered before he heard the front door chime.

Curious (and fairly certain that anyone who wanted to kill him wouldn’t ring the damn bell) Remus made his way down to the front door. He looked through the peep hole and found a scruffy looking bugger that he hadn’t seen in many years (and quite honestly would have preferred not to for several more). With a resigned sigh, Remus opened the door and look sidelong at the man who was at the door. “What are you doing here, John?”

John Constantine grinned. “Well hello to you too, Remus. Going to invite a bloke in?”

Remus snorted. “As if I want to have your silk cut air pollution in my house. I am trying to renovate this house, not burn it down.”

“Such animosity,” Constantine drawled as he pulled out a cigarette and lit it. “And here I come with news of your adopted nephew.”

Remus glared at Constantine. “Spit it out.”

“What?” Constantine asked in mock surprise. “No tea and biscuits? Not even a little hospitality?”

“You’re lucky I don’t string you up for that prank with the aconite laced licorice,” Remus said mildly. “I’m afraid all the hospitality you will find here is that I’ll shine my shoes before kicking your arse. Now spit out the information you want to torment Albus with before I go get the polish.”

Constantine chuckled. “Same old Moony. Alright, well it seems that Mr. Potter has gotten himself bonded to two lovely witches and has claimed his lordships which means that you can expect two more marriages in the very near future.”

“You’re kidding,” Remus muttered. “Who are the poor souls that Albus is going to try targeting?”

“Fleur Delacour and Luna Lovegood,” Constantine replied casually, “and I would advise him strongly not to do anything of the sort if he enjoys breathing as the queen mum has recognized him as a lord and is going to knight the lad as soon as he turns eighteen. In fact it would be best to tell the pain in the arse not to make any sudden moves any time he leaves warty ol’ hoggy.”

“Do you honestly think that will stop Albus?” Remus asked.

“Honestly I’m hoping it doesn’t,” Constantine said with an easy smile. “I arranged for him to be Jason’s pet project and can’t wait for the whole poetry and mass destruction that will follow the head bastard’s stupidity.”

Remus gaped. “You’d unleash the Demon to take down Albus. Are you mad?”

Constantine’s demeanor turned hard. “Make no mistake Moony, I’d bring down hell itself on Albus’ head for all the suffering he’s caused. If it had been my call I’d raze Hogwarts to the ground, drag the bastard out by his beard, and feed him to Apophis feet first for all the shite he’s pulled. The only ones who see him as the leader of the bloody light are those that don’t look past all the flash. As it stands, I’m limited by what the Prime Minister and Her Majesty will allow. The PM appointed Blood. You can take it up with him.”  
Remus paled at the realization. “Albus seriously over stepped this time, didn’t he.”

“You have no idea,” Constantine replied. He moved to walk away but stopped and pulled out a book and handed it to the werewolf. “A little housewarming gift,” he said with a nod and a smirk. “I found it rather enlightening.”

Remus looked at the book as Constantine walked away and saw that it was Sirius’ memoir with a note to look at page 27. Remus quickly flipped to the page and read it rather intently for a minute before screaming “Padfoot you bastard!”

***

Tonks looked around the ground floor lifting items that had Hermione’s image or her name on them while her young lover was upstairs packing her bedroom. She had gathered about seven photo albums, fourteen books of different subjects, a couple bodice rippers (Not necessarily Hermione’s but great for a few ideas), and roughly seventeen pounds of assorted silver and gold that she had shrunk down before Hermione came down with her trunk.

Hermione looked around before raising an eyebrow at Tonks. “Don’t you think my parents would miss the family silver.”

Tonks shrugged un-apologetically. “Is this everything?”

Hermione snorted and shook her head. “There are some things I need to get out of the attic and a couple items out of the basement. Unfortunately, I’ll probably need your help with the attic.”

Tonks rolled her eyes. “Hermione, it’s no bother. I’m glad to help you. Now lead the way.”

Hermione led Tonks up the stairs and up and up the ladder to the attic, fully aware of the view she was giving her paramour. “Sure you don’t want me to take off the slacks before I start up?” Hermione teased once she was halfway up the ladder.

“Moving stuff now,” Tonks shot back. “Naked sweaty fun time later.” Once she was in the attic, Tonks looked around. “So what are we up here to get?”

Hermione was already behind a stack of boxes. “I have some boxes of books that were put up here for storage,” she responded as she was searching through some plastic tubs. “There is also some older clothes of my mothers that I liked and a hope chest my Nanna helped me put together when I was younger. Feel free to continue robbing my parents if you see anything useful.”

Tonks chuckled and started shrinking furniture and boxes that she thought might be handy to have. As she reached the far end of the attic, she felt a pull to a rather ornate trunk. As she brushed the dust from its lid, Tonks could feel the magic pour off of it in low waves. How had no one noticed this here before? She traced her fingers over the silver monogram plate that read “F.A.R.” and shuddered a bit as magic washed over her sensing her intent.

“Hermione,” Tonks called over. “Mind telling me why a magical trunk is in your attic?”

Hermione walked over to where Tonks was standing and looked at the trunk, herself a bit surprised. “I’ve never seen it before in my life. Are you sure it’s magical?”

Tonks nodded. “Sure as tea time,” Tonks muttered. “I just got felt up by it’s wards.”

Without thinking, Hermione placed her own hand on the trunk and felt a similar brush against her magic before the trunk’s latch fell open. “Oops.”

Tonks glared at Hermione. “When someone tells you they just got something trying to judge their magic, the first thing you do not do is touch the bloody thing!”

Hermione had the grace to blush. “Sorry, curiosity got the better of me.”

“Well unlike Crookshanks you do not have nine lives,” Tonks hissed. “Could you please not kill yourself before I’ve had a chance to get you down the aisle?”

Hermione gaped a second before responding, “You haven’t even proposed yet.”

“And I don’t plan to until you are out of school,” her lover returned. “So you are not allowed to put yourself in danger until then, got it?”

Hermione nodded meekly. “So, what are we going to do with the trunk?”

Tonks looked thoughtful before answering. “We’ll take it with us. I don’t want someone getting injured because it’s here or worse trying to open it. We’ll check it out after we’ve found a new place to stay and can explore it safely.”

Hermione nodded and shrunk it with her wand. Before Tonks could protest, Hermione raised her hand. “It unlocked for me, which likely means it won’t react negatively to my magic. Now I can transport it without causing too much fuss. Let’s pack up our collection up here and then we can go to the basement and clear out the items I need from there.”

Tonks reluctantly agreed and after a few minutes they were heading downstairs and into the basement where Hermione entered a code into the side of a rather large safe. Tonks eyed the freestanding box of metal warily before asking, “Hermione, what is this?”

Hermione chuckled a bit nervously. “It’s my father’s gun vault. He’s a bit of an enthusiast.”

Tonks raised an eyebrow. “How much of his collection is legal?”

“Promise you won’t have him arrested?” Hermione asked nervously. “He really is responsible and seeing as he’s had training in the Royal Marines he knows how to handle them. I’m really just wanting to get my hunting rifle.”

“I won’t have him arrested,” Tonks assured her. “I was just curious given the amount of security.”

Hermione bit her lip. “About seventy percent is legal, with another twenty being antiques that we don’t have the ammunition for.”

Tonks fought her eyes bugging out. “And the last ten percent?”

Hermione winced. “He got a really good deal on a couple AK-47s that he just couldn’t see going into some gangsters hands.”

Tonks blinked and opened the door. The inside of the vault looked like a firearms museum with over forty weapons, each in pristine condition. The Gatling gun broken down in the bottom was exceptionally impressive. Tonks glanced at Hermione. “You know how to shoot?”

Hermione nodded. “Father insisted I know since I was eight.”

Tonks looked back at the guns and smirked. “We’re taking these with us.”

Hermione sighed but nodded. “I understand. It will break father’s heart but we should turn them in.”

Tonks snorted. “Turn them in? Hermione, we can enchant all the antiques so that they’ll create ammunition and the more modern guns can be traded if nothing else.”

“What?”

Tonks rolled her eyes. “Guns aren’t illegal in the wizarding world. Most wizards are just too stupid to see them as any use. Personally, I’ve always thought guns were a bit sexy.”

“Really?” 

Tonks nodded absently. “Blame it on my da and all those muggle movies he liked to take me to. All that blending of sex and guns in them sorta hard wired them together in my head.”

Hermione’s lip twitched threatening to break into a grin. “Really?”

Tonks licked her lips. “Oh yeah. In fact just looking at what you have here is really turning me on.”

Hermione pressed her body against Tonks and purred into her ear, “And what about the thought of me using one of these guns to take down some death eaters?”

Tonks let a low moan escape her lips. “I want to take you so hard now it isn’t funny.”

Hermione chuckled and started leading Tonks back upstairs. “Well it’s not like we’re in a rush. Why don’t I tell you about all the big guns I’ve handled while you show me your appreciation.”

Tonks whimpered as she followed her lover. “Tease.”

***

Peter awoke screaming in pain as a white hot knife cut through his arm severing his silver hand from his body. The pain continued as he could actually still feel the hand as it was seemingly being burned by something. Peter tried to move away only to find himself bound to a chair in the middle of an empty room. 

“Oops,” came a voice from behind him, “It says in this book that the silver hand is psychically attached to his consciousness so he’ll still feel the pain of it dissolving in acid even after it has been removed. How does he look, Hedwig?”

“Prick.”

“Well yeah,” the now somewhat familiar voice responded. “I know he’s a prick but is he still conscious?”

“Preck.”

Peter was soon graced with a face to go along with the voice as Ginny came around to face him. “Good morning Peter,” she said in a too chipper voice. “I hope you don’t mind me disabling Tom’s little trap. It’d be a shame for you to die before I even got a chance to torture you for information.”

Peter blinked then began laughing. “Oh, I got caught by the Order. For a minute I was worried. When is Dumbledore going to come in to make his offer?”

Ginny looked at Peter quizzically. “Dumbledore?” she asked. “Why would Dumbledore be coming in here? And I’m not with the Order. You might consider me as a semi-independent agent.” She then pulled a table with a variety of different blades and implements on it along with a plate with a sandwich. She picked up her wand and tapped it against her hand. “Now, it behooves me to tell you how this is going to work.”

Peter snorted. “Let me guess, You’re going to ask me questions and then Remus or someone else is going to torture me until I talk.”

“No,” Ginny said with a bit of a drawl as she flicked her wand and caused all of Peter’s hair to be pulled out by the roots. She waited until he stopped screaming and passed out from the pain before enervating him. She placed the tip of her wand under his chin and lifted up forcing him to look at her eye to eye. Her friendly smile never left her face as she cheerfully informed him, “I’m just going to keep torturing you until you tell me everything you know. It saves time that way, don’t you think? Oh, and don’t get any ideas about apparating or someone coming to look for you. Hedwig caught you purely by chance and the Lovegoods have some of the best wards on the planet. Add to that the fact that I’m the only one that is allowed through the wards currently in country and we’re just going to have a nice little conversation. Isn’t that nice?”

“You’re insane!” Peter yelled only to have a constriction spell aimed at his crotch.

“Insanity is a legal definition Peter,” Ginny responded. “According to my mind healer, I am suffering from a dissociative disorder combined with an acute post traumatic stress disorder that went untreated for four years. He also said I may have issues resulting from a man disguised as an animal in my home that may have been perving on me for years. So yes I do have a few issues, but insane? Really Peter? You’ve known me practically all my life.” She then picked up a scalpel and knelt down and picked up his foot. “How about we reconnect with a pedicure?”

Peter’s response was made inarticulate by Ginny slicing off his left pinky toe. After healing it and depositing the toe in the bucket of acid, she then repeated the procedure on his right toe. “Isn’t this fun?” she asked in a chipper voice. “Why I can get you into a nice pair of heels before we’re done. Of course I’ll have to use the hatchet to trim down your width a bit.”

“Voldemort’s home is the Riddle manor in Little Hangleton!” Peter screamed out. “The Dark Lord is in Little Hangleton! Please, someone come out and stop her!”

Ginny sat back and stared at him. “I would have thought he’d put that information under a fidelius.”

“I’m his secret keeper,” Peter admitted. “I was on my way to fetch Severus when I was caught.”

Ginny shook her head in exasperation. “Why does anybody trust you with anything? You’d think your animagus form would be a warning. Oh well.” With a happy hum, she cut off another toe causing the man to scream again.

“I told you what you wanted!” Peter screamed. “Why are you still hurting me! And why can’t I change!”

Ginny looked up at Peter in confusion. “Oh come now Peter, you have to know more than one little piece of information, and I told you that you were under some of the best wards in the country. One of them just happens to be an animagus transformation ward. You won’t be able to change until you get out the front door. Now, where was I?”  
Peter wailed as Ginny continued cutting off toes. He was frantically babbling in seconds, completely oblivious to the scratching of a dictation quill behind him.

***

Kim sat at the table quietly eating breakfast as her mother regarded her over her cup of coffee. As she finished her grapefruit, Kim let out a sigh. “You might as well ask,” she said to her mother. “I know you’re wondering why I’m home so soon.”

Her mother raised an eyebrow. “No conditions?”

Kim shrugged. “I doubt you’ll be sharing what I say with the Tweebs and I think my vacation would break dad so you might not want to tell him.”

“That bad?” her mother asked in surprise.

Kim shook her head and gave her mom a smile. “That good. It was definitely an eye opener for me and I experienced things that I never would have tried otherwise.”

Her mother smiled. “Like what?”

Kim blushed but plowed on. “Well let’s just say that I can expand on what you gave as the talk...greatly.”

Her mother blinked and chuckled. “That’s quite a feat if I recall correctly.”

Kim’s blush deepened. “I don’t think any of my friends had their mother quoting the Kama Sutra to them. However, I can give a bit of information on girl-girl sex that you weren’t familiar with. Or at least you hadn’t led me to believe you were.”

“Oh,” her mother said with a bit of a start. “You and Cassie I take it?”

Kim nodded looking at the table. “I’d like to say alcohol was involved but we had been fooling around before the booze. I think I’m bisexual.”

“Not worried about being gay?” Her mother teased.

Kim shook her head with a bit of a smile. “Definite Harry-sexual, just it turns out I like girls too. If it wasn’t for the mess his family left him in, I’d be all for seeing where thing would go between us.”

“Mess?”

Kim groaned and looked up at the ceiling. “Due to some really obscure wizarding laws among other things, Harry has to marry four women and it looks like they should all be witches.” 

Her mother sighed and looked up. “You might be able to get around that if you wanted,” she said with a bit of a sigh. “I don’t know quite how to tell you this but-“

“Dad isn’t my biological father,” Kim cut her off. “I found out a couple years ago. O positive doesn’t come from O Negative and A Negative. So I take it Sirius is my biological father?”

Her mother nodded. “I would have told you sooner but he was imprisoned until a couple years ago when he went on the run. I didn’t want to burden you with that knowledge.”

“Does that mean I’m a witch?” Kim asked in a small voice. “Is that why I can do all these things?”

Her mother shook her head. “No. I checked with a wizarding doctor when you first started doing unusual things. Sirius had a lot of things done to him growing up and they were transferred down to you. So yes you are considered magical, but your magic is trapped in those abilities. The wizarding doctor referred to you as squib plus.”

Kim rolled her eyes. “Still not helpful with my problem.”

Her mother looked at her with a raised eyebrow. “Did he ask you to marry him?”

“No, his first wife asked me to marry her.”

“What?”

Kim gathered her dishes and took them to the sink. “Well not actually ask me to marry her. She said she wasn’t even going to approach it until after I graduated, but she does want to date me and get to know me.”

“What?”

Kim put the rind into the compost and turned around to look at her mother. “I agreed to go out on a date this Friday and am kinda looking forward to it. I just felt it was all moving so fast, so I came home to try to decompress.”

“What?”

Kim sat back down next to her mother and looked into the older woman’s eyes. “She makes me melt with just a look and when she speaks to me it’s like my whole world just melts away. The only other person that makes me feel like that is Harry and if I married her I’d be with him also. But is that fair to me? Heck, is it fair to them? I could really use some advice Mom.”

“What?”

Kim looked at the shocked and vacant stare her mother was giving her and after a few seconds sighed. “Great. I broke her. I need to find someone with an unbiased opinion that will give me a straight answer.”

***

Rupert Giles was seated in his home going through the latest box of books to determine if it would be anonymously dropped off at the school board or was actually part of his collection when the phone rang. As it was on the other side of the room, Giles was forced to fight his way around a group of boxes just to reach the blasted contraption. “Hello?” he answered tersely as he picked up the receiver.

“Uh yes, Rupert Giles? This is Harry. Harry Potter. We met at Sirius’ will reading.”

“Oh yes,” Giles re-modulated his voice. “I apologize. There was an incident right before I went to the will reading and I’ve been a bit preoccupied with quite a bit more in my house than normal.”

“Ah,” Harry responded. “Would the incident have something to do with the bombed out high school I’m looking at?”

Giles blinked. “You’re in Sunnydale?”

“I’m in Sunnydale,” Harry’s voice confirmed over the phone. “So are Cassie, Fleur and Luna. You might remember them from the will reading as well.”

Giles already had his glasses of and was polishing them furiously. “And just what are you doing in Sunnydale?”

“Oh you know, cursing Sirius, having married two women with another two marriages yet to go, desperately needing training so the dark tosser won’t off me in the first nine seconds the next time I face him. The usual.”

Giles sighed. “It’s Thursday, isn’t it.”

“Last I checked. Why?”

“Just where this seems to fit in the schedule. I’ll explain it when we can meet. How about I give you directions to a protege’s residence.”

There was a pause before Harry responded. “Luna just said to meet us at the Slayer’s house and that you may want to call her so that she doesn’t come out swinging.”

“How-“

“Apparently Luna’s a seer.”

“Of course,” Giles sighed as he pinched his nose. “I’ll see you there.”


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: If you don’t know that we don’t own any of this, then you seriously need to climb out from under a rock. This is just the random musings of a demented mind. No money is being made off of this so please do not attempt litigation as I don’t have any money to begin with. Also there are scenes in this story of an adult nature, including sex, violence, random drug use, Bawdy humor, and generally teens behaving badly. If this offends you then you might not want to read. If you are under an age where reading this kind of material is generally frowned on, please stop reading as I will not be held responsible for corrupting your mind...that is what school and your father’s porn stash are for.

Chapter 7

Shego stared at the ceiling of her cell, contemplating just how much her employer may have royally screwed up. At the moment, Shego herself was contemplating killing the blue moron and offering up his broken body to Kim to make sure the red head never came after her again. Almost being killed once was way more than enough for her.

The sound of a grate falling outside her cell made the jade warrior start and she looked over to find her current worst fear staring at her from the other side of the energy wall. “H-hey princess,” Shego said nervously as she sat up and tried to make herself as small as possible. “Y-you know I had no idea what Drew was doing right?” She swallowed nervously as the hero reached over and powered down the energy field holding Shego in. “N-now we wouldn’t want to do anything drastic now would we? I mean, you’re not a killer Possible. You remember that, right? Right?”

Kim stepped into the cell and sat down on the cot. “Relax. The suit was messing with my brain that night. I’m not here to finish what I started.”

Shego sighed in relief then looked at Possible. “Then why are you here?”

Kim’s lips twisted into a frown for a minute before she responded. “I need some advice and I can’t trust my friends to give me honest answers.”

“But you can trust me,” Shego said incredulously. “The thief?”

“You’re not personally invested in my personal life,” Kim responded. 

“Ah,” Shego said in realization. “You want to know how to let the doofus down.”

Kim snorted. “Not really. I’d just have to tell him about my last week and watch his brain melt.” She then cocked an eyebrow at Shego. “And quit calling Ron a doofus.”

Shego shrugged. “So what’s the problem?”

“I have a date tomorrow.”

“Guy or girl?”

Kim blinked. “Girl and why did you think to ask?”

Shego grinned. “You’re always checking out my ass.”

“Am not!”

Shego just stared at Kim. “Are we really going to have this conversation or are we going to talk about what you came here for?”

Kim rolled her eyes and huffed. “Fine. I met the girl after spending about a week with a couple others in Vegas getting drunk and doing every immoral act we can think of outside of gambling.”

“So Kimmie’s no longer a virgin. Doofus and dweeb will be so heartbroken.”

Kim shot Shego another look before continuing. “Anyway, one of the people I was with is a Wizard with a capital W and has all these family obligations heaped on him that requires him to marry several times, one of these times to the girl I’m about to go on a date with.”

“So he’s a lord of more than one house,” Shego clarified. At Kim’s shocked expression, she smirked. “I don’t just work for Draken. Sometimes I take a contract in the Magical world. Surprises the fuck out of the purebloods when the ‘silly little Muggle’ sets their hair on fire.”

Kim snorted and grinned. “I guess I should let Harry know you’re for hire then.”

Shego sat up straight and looked at Kim. “You boned with Hary Potter? Way to go.”

Kim’s jaw was on the floor again. “How!”

“Harry’s not a common name amongst Wizards,” Shego explained. “Add the fact that he’s a lord and that number drops dramatically. So how was he?”

Kim bit her lip and grinned briefly. “Well since he was my first, I really don’t have a standard but...” She then shook her head and laughed. “I can’t believe I’m having girl talk with one of my rivals, but yeah he was good.”

“And you got a date with his wife tomorrow.”

“One of his wives,” Kim corrected. “Turns out his first marriage was something called a bonding and he had to get married again really quick so that he wouldn’t go crazy if the first one died.” She leaned her head against the cool prison wall. “And I think I’m in love with them.”

“Them?” Shego asked, curiosity piqued.

“Harry and Fleur,” Kim responded, not opening her eyes. “Maybe Luna as well. I’m not sure with Luna since we spent all of seven hours in each others company, but...yeah. I was falling so hard it scared me and I asked Fleur to bring me home.”

“But you’re going on a date with one of them tomorrow.”

“Yeah.”

“So what’s the problem?”

“Am I being fair to them?” Kim’s voice was suddenly very quiet and scared. “Am I being fair to myself?”

Shego sighed and shook her head. “You’re looking too far ahead, Possible. You should just take it a step at a time.”

“There are other things too,” Kim added. “My mom confirmed what I suspected for a while. My dad isn’t my birth father. That was a revelation, but not as big as finding out my birth father was Harry’s godfather. So I’m not a normal girl like I always thought and-“

Shego reached over and slapped Kim in the back of the head breaking the girl’s train of thought. “You’re over thinking it Princess.”

“Ow!”

“Suck it up Blossom,” Shego growled out. “The truth hurts. Now, you like her right.”

“Yes.”

“And she likes you.”

“Yes.”

“So go have fun.”

“What about Harry?”

“Is he going to be there?”

“I don’t think so.”

“Then don’t worry about it. It’s just a date.”

“But.”

“Look, you wanted advice and advice I have given. What you do with it is up to you. Take it a day at a time.” She then nudged Kim off the cot. “Be sure to lock up and replace the grate when you leave.”

Kim sighed and stepped out of the cell before re-locking the cell. “We’ll talk about the Powerpuff Girls reference.”

Shego snorted as she laid back down. “You are so not a Buttercup. Now, get out of here. You’re interrupting my nap.”

Shego laid with her eyes closed and waited until she heard the grate put back in place and the sounds of her erstwhile nemesis crawling away. She let out a groan of frustration and crossed her legs. “That’s all my overactive imagination needed: Kim Possible, amateur muff diver. I wonder how pissed Global Justice would be with me if I explained the reason I broke out was to have some private time with bob.”

***

Ginny was finishing her sandwich and going over what had been transcribed by the dictation quill when Pettigrew finally woke up from his latest fainting spell. Well fainting spell may seem a little weak sounding since the man was currently missing his legs below his knees and his arms below his elbows. The fact that the last spell had been caused by the young red head using a nutcracker to castrate the Animagus would completely explain his passing out to any of the male population. Even Hedwig was beginning to wonder if there was something seriously wrong with this child.

She took a dainty sip from her orange juice washing the last of the sandwich down before looking in the Death Eater’s direction. “Well, let’s review shall we? Not only is Tom an unimaginative prick, he’s dumb enough to make you his secret keeper. No one but you and Bellatrix currently know where he is. You were sent to get Snape to help him with a problem that has been plaguing the waste of space since Harry’s been out of the country. Bella’s a fan of torture porn and ‘pretty pretty pegasus’...whatever that is. You got into the Death Eaters by molesting a fourteen year old boy and torturing him to death in front of Tom, an act even he found disturbing. You have to do something vile of your own free will to become a Death Eater, which everyone has except for Snape who was let off easy with only having to make a potion that allows Greyback and friends to control their transformations.”

She flipped the page and shook her head in exasperation as she continued. “You have seven caches of valuables that you stole and were planning to use to escape the country when Sirius surprised you all those years ago. I’ll just skip over the locations for now, but you can consider them as acquisitions for the cause of making the wizarding world a better place. You have also named three people as Death Eaters that I was not aware of: Tibirius Ogden, who spies on Dumbledore and thus has to be unmarked, Dimitri Bulstrode, who is in the Invisibility task force, and Martin Edgecombe, who not only is a grand duke of the Knights of Walpurgis but also father of Marietta Edgecombe and the real reason the bitch sold the DA out.”

She flipped another page tsking as she looked down it. “You also confessed to several times of perving on my brothers and fondling Percy in his sleep. While this probably explains some of what’s wrong with my odder brother, it also eases some of my anxiety about being watched by a dirty old man. Then comes the downright disturbing stuff. Just what is this fascination with Animagi and having sex with their animal counterparts?”

Peter blinked owlishly. “The others did it too?”

“Not according to Sirius,” Ginny clarified. “But he did think about it during a particularly long dry patch and James and Lily may have conceived Harry while romping about all stag and doe. And the whole squid fixation is all you. You sir are one foul individual. So I guess all that’s left is to ask you want it: head or heart?”

“What?”

Ginny sighed in exasperation and stood up in front of Peter. “Where do you want me to hit you with the reductor? You didn’t really think I was going to let you live.”

Peter went pale...again. “But you’re one of the good guys!”

“No,” Ginny corrected. “I’m the monster that other monsters will tell ghost stories about. I’m the Shadow of Aucoin. When things go bump in the night, I’m what bumps back. You should feel special Peter. After all, you’re my first message to Tom.”

“The Dark Lord will-“

“What Peter!” Ginny yelled cutting him off. “The Dark Lord will do what! Threaten me! Kill me! Don’t you think what the bastard has already done enough damage! Ginny Weasley died September 30th, 1992! The first time he took me over I became some twisted thing that can’t feel anything from torturing or killing. Tom made me, his own little monster!”

Peter’s eyes widened as something clicked in his head. You see, contrary to popular opinion Remus wasn’t the smartest of the Marauders. He was actually the balancing force that kept them from getting out of control. Peter was top marks in theory in most of his classes and actually graduated fourth in his class behind Lily Evans, Severus Snape, and that blasted Ravenclaw Muggleborn Rupert Giles. So Ginny’s tirade triggered something the Dark Lord had confided in him; a piece of a prophecy that never really made sense until right now. “S-seventh month...” Peter whispered out in horror.

“Bugger it.” Ginny growled before snapping off a reductor at Peter’s head. After a rather grizzly scene and a sound not quite like someone taking a crowbar to a pumpkin, Ginny took a breath and wrote out a quick note. Then, using Tom’s knowledge she turned a scalpel into a time delay portkey before shoving it through the note and Peter’s chest. Once the body had disappeared, she went about cleaning the room in case she needed to use it again. 

She took another breath before looking back at Hedwig. “I’m sorry you had to see all that, but thanks for staying with me.”

“Preck?”

Ginny chuckled. “No, I’m pretty much irreparably broken. The therapist has hope I can still be an adjusted and productive member of society. I agree, in principle if not in direction.” She finished putting up her tools as she became contemplative. “I mean exterminators are productive members of society. Right?”

Hedwig shrugged. “Preck.”

After putting away her case, Ginny held out her arm. “Come on. I think we still have a couple of those special owl treats Charlie sent for Pig. You know, the ones made from lemmings.”

Hedwig flapped over and landed on the outstretched arm before looking at Ginny inquisitively. “Preck?”

Ginny rolled her eyes as she headed out of the house. “Of course I’ll make you bacon as well. What do I look like? A savage?”

***

“Alright you pukes!” Collin shouted out to the group he stood in front of. “As of this moment I am your Primary Martial Arts instructor. Unless your name is Neville Longbottom or Fay Dunbar, from here on out you will address me as either Sensei or Sir. Other acceptable monikers are Master and God.” That got a laugh from all of the crowd on the floor below, which trailed off as they realized the seven on the raised part of the pitch with him weren’t laughing. “Trust me,” Colin called out to them, “at least one of you will say each of those titles before I am done with your arses. Up here with me are my subordinate instructors: Millicent Bulstrode, Tracey Davis, Rion O’Neal, Wes Smith, Arwyn Quaid, and of course you know our leaders Lord Longbottom and Fay Dunbar.”

He stopped and stared directly out at the group. “Out in this crowd, you will find others that are also new here: Daphne and Astoria Greengrass from Slytherin, Adela and Dragos Moldovan from Durmstrang, and Christian and Lyssette Lambert from Beauxbatons. Yes, we now have Slytherins and Durmstang students among us. I don’t care about your opinions of either. They are among the few that have shown the cunning and intelligence they are supposed to be known for and decided to join us. Millicent herself turned against her family to be here. Tracey, Daphne and Astoria’s parents are likely either dead or soon will be when that snake faced bastard finds out they turned on him. Adela and Dragos are answering ancient oaths of fealty to join their lord in battle as are Christian and Lyssette. If I hear of any of you disrespecting them or worse attacking them, you will become one of my object lessons. Am I clear!”

He looked among the group and pointed to Roger Malone. “Malone, you fancy yourself a scrapper. Come up here for a demonstration.”

Malone chuckled and headed to the front. “Your funeral mate.” Many in the crowd seemed to agree with him as the boy outweighed Collin by a good sixty pounds and most of that was solid muscle built from time as a beater for his house team.

Colin looked at him and said. “Rules are simple. You don’t hold back because I won’t. We have magic to heal any breaks. We only stop when one of us passes out or someone taps out, hitting the ground three times. Understand?”

“Yeah,” Roger confirmed. “Any refs?” 

“Are there any refs in the real world? We’re teaching you to survive, not win tournaments. Begin when you’re ready.”

Roger shrugged and went after him, throwing a punch. No one caught exactly what Collin did but the bigger boy found himself on the ground with him arm behind his back and Collin’s knee in his back. 

“Sloppy,” Collin said dispassionately. “You telegraphed that punch from the beginning. I’ve been taking martial arts since I was six. You’ll have to do better.” He let the boy go. “Oh and so you know, people were calling me a freak way before I found out I was a wizard. To use some Muggle terms my brain is seriously over-clocked. It gives me a couple advantages.” he flashed a grin before actually taking a stance. “Just so you know. Full disclosure and all that.”

The battle was soon joined again with battle being the appropriate word. At least on Malone’s part. Collin kept dodging, side-stepping, and smacking away Roger’s attacks, but not making any attack of his own. After this had gone on for about two minutes, one of the teens up on the dais called out “Time.” Then the battle changed rapidly as Collin went on the offensive. Malone took several vicious hits before everyone heard a rather sickening crack and Malone fell down screaming. After a second, Collin pulled out his wand and stunned Malone.

“Blossom!” Colin called out as he knelt down and tended to the unconscious student. When the house elf appeared, he looked at her. “Take Mr. Malone to the healer that Madam Bones arranged for us. Also inform him that this will be the only one for today. I believe I made my point.”

As Blossom disappeared with the boy, Collin stood and looked at the now stunned assembly. “I and my fellow instructors are all trained martial artists. They are the best physical fighters in Hogwarts. That is not a boast. Nor is it a boast when I say I have fought and beaten them all. Some of you have thought of me as that creepy little kid with the camera. Well now you can think of me as that creepy little kid that can hand you your arse on a silver platter. 

“We are teaching you a martial art we have been developing to go with our natural weapon: Magic. It doesn’t have a name and it is far from a complete discipline, but it is the best advantage we can give you in defending yourself from Death Eaters. We will be refining and focusing our techniques and shape you into a fighting force. On that note, as the main instructor Lord Longbottom has graciously allowed me to name our group. Now there were those of us that naively called ourselves Dumbledore’s Army last year. In hindsight that was a mistake, as the headmaster is too much of a soft touch to ever want anyone to actually fight. He would rather we die innocents so that the blood on his hands is righteous.”

Collin closed his eyes and took a breath. “None of us that had to deal with that toad can ever be called innocent. And Hogwarts herself gives us a warning and a battle cry that we all too often overlook. Never tickle a sleeping dragon. Well I say we are that Sleeping Dragon and the Death Eaters have done a damn bit more than tickle us! What say you!”

Neville smiled as the cheer of agreement rang though the field. He turned and glanced at Rion. “He’s quite the impassioned speaker.”

Rion snorted and shook her head. “The little nerd just cribbed from all his comic books,” she muttered. “I’ll keep him from going overboard.”

Neville chuckled and shook his head. “Well, thank you for coming on such short notice. I’m sorry you’re going to miss your tournaments.”

“I’m not,” Rion said seriously. “This is important Nev. I can do the tourney circuit any year. How often can you help change the direction of an entire civilization?”  
Neville blinked and looked at her.

Rion sighed. “Hermione’s right. You and Harry just don’t see it. People respect Dumbledore. They fear You-Know-Who. But when it comes to you and Harry, when you stand up people will follow your lead. The way the two of you go will determine the way the rest of Wizarding Britain goes for good or ill. That’s why the Ministry tried to silence Harry, why Dumbledore tries to keep the two of you down, why You-Know-Who wants the both of you dead. The Potters and Longbottoms are the closest things to royalty in our world. The fact that the two of you are mostly well adjusted and likable is a considerable bonus.”

Neville snorted. “I wonder how likable I’ll be when I end up marrying multiple women.”

“Multiple titles?”

“Multiple titles, plus line continuation contracts.”

Rion winced in sympathy. “Please tell me you’re at least starting to sort it out.” at Neville’s nod she smiled. “You know, I’m actually starting to feel sorry for Harry. Who knows what he’s going through.”

Before Neville could respond, Basil appeared next to him. “Master Longybottoms, a man is being at the front gate and wishes to talk with you.”

Neville nodded before turning back to Rion. “Excuse me.”

Neville then allowed his elf to take him within sight of the front gate where he saw someone he was most definitely not expecting. He cautiously made his way forward, palming his wand though fairly certain that if this was a trap then his guest would not approach from the front door. Still, this was Victor Krum. One of the Tri-wizard champions. It would pay to be at least a little cautious.

“Mr. Krum,” Neville addressed him, “You seem to have me at a loss. What is the nature of your visit?”

Krum looked at the young man before him before speaking. “You are with Hermione and Lord Potter.” Neville could see in his delivery that it wasn’t a question. He could also tell that Victor was much easier to understand. There was still an accent, but it wasn’t as thick as when he first met the Bulgarian seeker. “You are against that which makes our world weak.”

Neville stood and stared in the eye of the man opposite him across the gate. “I am and so are those here with me. We will stand and fight. We will train to push back the darkness and make a better place for our children to live.”

Victor didn’t flinch from the gaze. “You know many will die.”

Neville gave a dark chuckle. “That is why the gods created Valhalla.”

Victor gave his own dark grin. “When we get there, I will buy the first drink comrade. If you are with Hermione and Harry, then I am with you. I told Harry that I will fight for him.”

Neville shrugged and gave a sheepish smile. “I would fight for my brother as well, but right now he’s busy enjoying a vacation in the Colonies shagging and partying.”

Victor chuckled and shook his head. “Lucky bastard. Perhaps we should get to the training then.”

Neville granted him access and led him up to the main house. “By the way, no offense but your accent has gotten much better.”

This time it was Victor who was sheepish. “Hermione was tired of my butchering of her name and sent me a language lozenge. She really is a formidable woman. If only she was interested in men.”

Neville stumbled a bit but corrected quickly. “Right. Well lets get you kitted out shall we.”

***

Hermione followed Tonks and the real estate agent into the third house on the day’s list of houses. From what she could tell, it was a nice three story in Devon, just north of Ottery St. Catchpole sitting on about five acres of land with a barn and paddock for horses. In short, just about the opposite of everything that she wanted. Just like the last two places they looked at. 

She stifled a sigh and tugged Tonks back. “You did tell her my requirements for a place to stay right?”

Tonks scowled and nodded. “She’s also ignored my requirements for security and just about any aesthetics we’ve agreed on. I mean Formica counters in a fifty thousand Galleon house? Really?” She sighed and looked at Hermione. “What’s your money on? Bastard or Snake head.”

Hermione whipped her wand out and stunned the real estate agent. “Bastard, but better safe than sorry. Let’s take her to the DMLE and pump her full of veritaserum.”

Tonks blinked at the speed Hermione stunned the agent and gave her young lover a reproachful glare. “What have we said about stunning people out of school.”

Hermione grinned. “That we are only to stun them if we need information, which is the case now.”

Tonks rolled her eyes. “And I am the one to be doing the stunning until the emancipation papers go through. I swear you are going to get paddled when we get home.”

“And then oral sex,” Hermione shot back.

“Well of course,” Tonks agreed. “It’s silly to have one without the other.” She looked around the house distractedly. “Still, it really is too bad this place is so poorly defended. It’d make a nice family house.”

Hermione grunted as she trussed up the agent. “You thinking about for Harry?”

“I was thinking about for us,” Tonks responded. “You know if we ever decided to have kids.”

Hermione stopped and looked up. “Are you talking about adoption or a surrogate?”

“No, I was talking about you and me having kids.” Tonks shifted nervously. “I mean if you want to that is.”

“H-how?” Hermione stammered then blinked and hit herself on the head. “Right. Magic. Of course.” Hermione stood up and stunned the agent again. “To be honest, I hadn’t thought much about it since there aren’t many options for lesbians in the Muggle world. Right now, let’s deal with little miss honey trap. I need to process.”

Tonks nodded and levitated the agent over to a nearby fireplace. After Hermione lit a fire in it, Tonks threw in some orange powder and called out “Auror alert emergency protocol Whisky Tango Foxglove.” After letting Hermione go through first, she guided the stunned woman through the temporary floo and followed right behind. She was greeted on the other side by Kingsley, Chief Auror Scrimgeour, and Minister Bones along with six Aurors.

Kingsley was the first to speak. “What’s the nature of the emergency? I know you said it’s only a rating one, but with the nature of what has happened over the last couple weeks I want to be sure.”

Tonks placed the agent in a secure chair and activated it before she turned to the three authorities in the room. “Miss Granger and I contacted an agency to shop for new accommodations. This real estate agent was sent over by the agency and was personally given our requirements which included requirements mandated by the DMLE for all officers.”

“You’re talking about the security requirements,” Scrimgeour interrupted. 

“Yes sir. So far, she took us to one outside of Hogsmead, one a mile east of Godric’s Hollow, and one north of Ottery St. Catchpole. All three were completely indefensible and while they looked nice, met none of our other requirements. At best, she is suffering under an imperious to put us in a dangerous situation. At worst...”

“At worst, she is willfully endangering one of my Aurors and a prominent and shining star that our department has it’s eye on,” Kingsley snapped angrily. “Dawlish, get me the veritaserum. Rufus, can I count on you to ask the questions? I’m afraid I’ll kill the tart if I do.”

Scrimgeour nodded. “I’ll need two witnesses.”

“I’ll stand as a witness,” Amelia said plainly. “I can also get Arthur if you feel Auror Tonks isn’t adequate.”

Scrimgeour winced. “Technically she’s still suspended.”

“Actually she’s on a deep cover assignment to protect one of the Ministry Six from all threats foreign and domestic,” Kingsley said with a grin. “The suspension was just a cover.”

“What!”

Tonks winced and cringed a bit as she was suddenly being pounded on by that very charge. “Ow! Yeah I deserve this.”

“You told me you were suspended with pay!” Hermione shouted. “I’ve been feeling guilty even though you told me Kingsley said it was just for show!”

“Well what was I supposed to say,” Tonks shot back. “I’m getting paid to shag my girlfriend? You’d rail about corruption and the last couple days wouldn’t have been nearly as enjoyable.”

Hermione huffed and glared at the assembled chuckling adults. “This is ridiculous. I’m not made of glass.”

“But you are a target,” Kingsley replied. “I’d have Harry Potter and Luna Lovegood under protection as well if it weren’t for them being out of the country. Neville has built a private security force on his family estate and Arthur’s youngest never leaves the family’s wards according to her father. The only one I haven’t been considering is Ron Prewitt since he’s been hanging on to Dumbledore’s coat tails so tightly. Let me tell you, that book of Sirius’ and that debacle a couple weeks ago put paid to Albus’ precious order. Remus and Moody would like to talk to you and Harry when the two of you have time. Remus has been acting as everyone’s go-between with Albus, but his opinion of the man has seriously dimmed.”

“As fascinating as Tonks love life is,” Scrimgeour interupted, “can we get on with the interrogation? If Tonks isn’t really on suspension, she’s more than adequate to sit in on the interrogation.”

“I would like to be present as well,” Hermione added. “I have a couple questions that I’d like to have asked. I can write them down and give them to Mr. Scrimgeour, but they’re a couple things that could help with some of the trickier spots you may have been having with routing out corruption.”

Scrimgeour nodded and handed her a pad and a self-filling quill as Dawlish returned with the veritaserum. 

***

“I’m telling you Albus, the Queen has declared Harry off limits.”

Albus gave an amused chuckle. “Surely it can’t be as severe as you are picturing Remus.”

The werewolf rolled his eyes. “I’m only warning you because I happen to like Hogsmead and would hate to see Etrigan demolish it to get at you.”

Albus paused at that. “Are you sure he said Etrigan would be sent after me?”

“No,” Remus replied and waited for Albus to relax before continuing. “I am certain that John Constantine told me that you were made Jason Blood’s personal project by the Prime Minister. Constantine wanted to level the castle around your ears and introduce your bloody body to a fireplace poker. You have no friends outside of this castle, Albus.”

“Surely you jest. Alastor is still-“

“No friends,” Remus interrupted him. “Mad-eye is still pissing mad that you left him in a trunk for over a year. His vote was for us to help Constantine grab you and ship your sorry arse of to Nuremgard. Arthur wants to draft an Avada on sight order, only being stopped by Amelia’s calming influence.”

“Amelia Bones doesn’t want me dead?” Albus said with some twinkle coming back to his eye. “Then perhaps there is some hope.”

“Not really,” Remus shot back. “She wants you to suffer. And I bet you didn’t remember an old student of yours in the front row with Harry: one Rupert Giles.”

Albus looked thoughtful. “The name sounds familiar, but for the life of me I can’t place it.”

Remus gave a wolfish grin. “How about adding the names Ethan Raynes, Tesla Bishop and Lily Evans?”

Albus turned pale. “The Hogwarts Horsemen.”

“Yes, and I got a call from ol’ Ripper. Seems Lily’s son has looked up one of his mum’s best friends and is looking to find out about her past. I hear he’s going to invite Tesla around so they can tell him all sorts of stories about his parents. Good, bad and indifferent.”

“Remus,” Albus implored, “you can’t let Harry be influenced by those people. They are dangerous. You have no idea what reckless ideas they’ll put in his head.”

“Like what Albus? That he’s got a piece of the Dark Lord in his head?” Remus was up on his feet faster than Albus could react and erecting the strongest shield he knew. “Don’t try it Albus. The Goblins sussed out enough to know where that twisted little brain of yours was going. You bound a mass of dark magic to Harry’s scar in order for you to convince Harry he would have to sacrifice himself. They found your notes when they raided your vaults to repay Harry the moneys you stole. I wouldn’t recommend going back to Gringotts for the next seven centuries if you want to consider keeping your head. As for Harry, stay away from him. This is the last warning you will have from me.”

“Has your trust in me fallen so much Remus?”

Remus snorted as he backed out of the office. “My lot is with my brother’s son and I’ll be damned if I’ll let you murder him like you’ve done with the rest of my family. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’ll take my leave.”

He heard the door behind him open and Severus’ voice smoothly reply. “Now this is a surprise. Someone being as wary about the headmaster as I am at the moment. Good afternoon Wolf.”

Remus risked a glance back to see Severus along with Pamona Sprout and Filius Flitwick standing in the doorway. Both Severus and Filius had their wands out and looking at the Headmaster. Remus let out a low chuckle and glanced back Albus’ direction. “It seems that you are running out of friends all around. I’ll see myself out.”

“No need Wolf,” Severus responded. “I’ll join you in a second. I’m only here to say that I will only accept the Potions position for the upper years and that this will likely be my last year. I have come into a bit of a windfall and will be spending quite a bit of time repaying my debt to society in a more productive way. One that I am hoping Remus among others will want to take part in. I have already sent this request to the Board of Governors and await their decision.” He turned and left through the door and was quickly followed by Remus.

Filius looked at Albus in disappointment. Just as he was about to say something, a large great horned owl swooped in with an equally massive crate. As the crate dropped it broke open, releasing a dozen rather large nifflers into the room, which began grabbing anything they could get in their mouths before taking off past the three stunned occupants and through the open door. As soon as the flurry of action had dissipated, Albus noticed a finely penned note.

Dear Whiskered Menace,

Take this as a note to self: never mess with a Potter elf. If at this warning you choose to scoff, next time I warn the gloves come off. And before you think I should give a shit, your school’s employ my girl and I quit. So next time you try to throw your weight around, remember I’ll put your arse in the ground.

Sincerely,

Dobby Potter

Albus blinked and looked around his office. A small frown graced his lips. “Bother,” he muttered as he could swear that the hat and that accursed bird were chuckling.

***

Voldemort was dealing with his own unwanted package at that moment. He stared dispassionately at the note that had been attached to what was left of Wormtail’s body.

Dear Mr. Riddle,

I would like to address a few issues in our upcoming relationship which I feel you need to be made aware. I will of course not be calling you by that ridiculous made up name. You are quite likely going to lose many of your followers before we finally meet. I know exactly where you are thanks to the late Mr. Pettigrew. There is no point in running or hiding because I will find you. In the end, you will know fear before I end you. There is no reprieve. There is no bargain. In the end there is only your death. Probably preceded by the witless followers that you wish to send after me. Make no mistake Tom, you are now on borrowed time.

Sincerely,

The Shadow of Aucoin 

Voldemort crushed the letter in his hand and seethed with anger. He would find this Shadow and crush them like a bug. How dare this upstart presume to be the equal of the Dark Lord. He turned and looked out at the few Death Eaters that Bella had collected when Wormtail had disappeared. “Murphy, go collect Severus. We can not recast the Fidelis at this time without being sure we have not been compromised and I require him on a private matter. Edgecombe, go to your contact in Knockturn and see what can be found out about this Shadow of Aucoin. Bella, I want you to plan a jailbreak at Azkaban to coincide with the back to school shopping for Hogwarts. The rest of you leave until you are summoned.”

The Dark Lord sat on his throne and pondered as his subjects left on their assignments. There were too many coincidences as of late. A major raid foiled, followed by the death of one of his agents about to do an empowerment ritual and his own body being attacked by an unknown force. Now one of his inner circle, albeit the least useful, had been brutally murdered and apparently tortured for information as well. Was this all the work of one man?

Almost as if to answer his question, he was hit by another blast of searing pain and rictus inducing spasms. He could not understand the flashing lights he was experiencing or the inarticulate noises that were currently shredding his vocal chords. It went on for a good thirty seconds before he was released and allowed to collapse into unconsciousness.

***

Harry panted from his spot behind the boxes of books with his two wives smiling down at him smugly. “Blearg murguffle,” he said with a half glare.

“I think we may have broke him with that last bit,” Luna pointed out with a bit of a smile.

Fleur licked her lips suggestively and nodded. “I do believe you are correct. Perhaps we should modify what we did in the future.”

“He did seem to really enjoy eating you out while I-“

“Giles,” Harry cut Luna off with the first coherent word he could formulate. “We...we are in Mr. Giles house... He and Buffy are on patrol... Will be back soon...”

“And we promised to have the books sorted,” Fleur conceded he husband’s point. “And since this is a hellmouth, we can’t use magic. Alright, I’ll start on the left stacks. Luna, you start on the right. Once Harry has recovered, he can start where he is.”

Harry stared up at the ceiling for a second before re-fastening his pants and starting on his own pile. It was a strange situation that they had gotten themselves in. Luna’s suggestion to come to Sunnydale had the unintended consequence of introducing Harry to another facet of the magical world: demons. This was made evident in the explanation of just what happened at the Highschool and the introduction of Giles' charge Buffy Summers, the vampire slayer. 

It also led to the discovery of the fact that there was in fact more than one and that the other one was a psychopath currently in a coma at Sunnydale General. This had prompted Cassie to call the Justice League and have the psychopath slayer (one Faith Lehane, aka Ms. Not Appearing In This Story) taken to a secure medical facility in the super prison known as the Vault. The Justice League also collected copious amounts of data from Mr. Giles about the semi-legal institution known as the Watchers Council. 

Harry sighed as he looked through the first box and determined that it was mostly demonology books before moving on to the next one. He realized that his agreement to help Mr. Giles with the clutter from their hurried removal of books from the library was the right thing to do, but honestly it was more of a Hermione thing than a Harry thing. He felt a twinge of sadness that his friends hadn’t been able to join him. Of course Ron had turned out to be a backstabbing traitor and Luna had still managed to show up, but he missed Neville and Hermione. Merlin, he felt bad that Ginny was probably home alone and bored out of her skull.

He was just about to start on the second set when he heard Luna exclaim, “Ooh, Tingly.” He looked up to see her holding her chest and staring at a small wooden chest.

“Luna, are you alright?”

Luna looked over at Harry and grinned. “Oh I’m fine. One of the keys Sirius left me decided to get excited when I got close to that chest.”

“Huh, I wonder what’s in it.”

“Oh this is not going to end well,” Fleur muttered with a chuckle.

Luna snorted and pulled out one of the keys. “Well, we’ll never know until we try it.” Before anyone could protest, she placed the key in the lock and turned, rewarded with a audible click. The lid swung open to reveal a gauntlet made of interlocking gems. “Beautiful,” Luna whispered, “but sadly not for one of us.”

Fleur joined her and gasped. “An Atlantean war gauntlet. I thought they were a myth.”

Luna nodded absently. “And way too powerful for any of us. Hermione and Neville included.”

“What about Ginny?” Harry asked as he came over.

“Oh Hela no!” Luna snapped. “She’d go up like New Years Day. No Harry, this increases one’s magical ability. A muggle would become a minor caster like Buffy’s friend. On her, she’d become the next Dumbledore or Voldemort. What we need is a Squib that we can trust.”

Harry blinked and looked at Luna. “That’s more than a little bigoted, Luna.” 

Luna looked back at Harry. “No, it’s practical. Squibs have slightly more magic than a non-magical. If this is properly bonded to a squib, they’d be able to practice magic and be a part of Magical society. And seeing as we are talking about a society that has continually persecuted and sometimes killed Squibs, we definitely do not want one that wishes to kill every Wizard on the planet. Ergo, a Squib that we can trust.”

“So where do we find a Squib we can trust?” Fleur asked. “I mean it’s not like one is going to call out of the blue.”

The phone on Mr. Giles end table began to ring. Fleur cautiously went over and picked it up. “Hello, Giles residence...Kim?...Where did you get this number?... Ah... No, it’s fine. How have you been?... Alright. Are we still on for tomorrow night?... shorts and a t-shirt will be fine... No, it’s a surprise...” Fleur’s lip curled into a small smile as she listened to the phone. “I promise there will be no unpleasantness on my part if we do run into your friends... I will be on my best behavior...Alright. Good night Kimberly.” Fleur sighed as she hung up the phone. “This is going to be agonizing.”

Harry chuckled as he went back to his stack of books. “Come on, lets finish our stacks and then call out for pizza. Luna, stash the gauntlet in our stuff and we’ll deal with it later.”

***

Kim hung up the phone with a sigh. “This is ridiculous,” she muttered to herself. “She’s married.” Any further musing was interrupted by a knick at the door. Kim looked out and frowned as she saw Will Du and Doctor Director waiting on her front step. The frown deepened as she scanned the remainder of the area and noticed far more “nondescript” people traveling back and forth through the neighborhood than even lived there. She pulled out her Kimunicator and tapped it with a short sequence. 

A short series of ones and zeroes played across the screen before “PROGRAM T0G3T#3R SENT” appeared across the screen quickly followed by “RR, RVG, RVN, BB, KD ALL INBOUND. OTS ALERTED AND BRINGING REINFORCEMENTS. RR REQUESTS DETAILS.”

“Global Justice has my house surrounded,” Kim whispered. “It looks like a detainment detail being led by Doctor Director and Will Du. Just wanted reinforcements incase things went sideways.”

The Kimunicator beeped and the screen changed. “RR: GJ HAS BEEN ORDERED TO STAND DOWN BY DEPARTMENT OF METAHUMAN AFFAIRS IN REGARDS TO YOU. DOCTOR DIRECTOR HAS ALSO BEEN ORDERED TO TURN OVER ALL METAHUMAN PRISONERS IN THEIR CUSTODY. GJ IS CURRENTLY IN DEFIANCE OF US LAW. DO NOT LEAVE THAT HOUSE UNTIL WE GET THERE. JL NOTIFIED AND IN BOUND. DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE.”

Kim groaned. “Of course.”

There was another knock at the door followed by Doctor Director’s voice. “Miss Possible we need you to come out.”

Kim rolled her eyes. “Yeah that is so not going to happen,” Kim called back through the door. “I’ll just wait until my friends show up.”

“Friends?” Doctor Director asked through the door.

Kim grinned. “The Titans and Justice League are both inbound. Possibly others. You know disobeying orders is usually a bad idea.”

The cursing outside filled Kim’s heart with a certain wicked glee. “Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m going to go make some refreshments for my inbound friends then go back to obsessing on my date tomorrow. Feel free to hover outside until they get here.” She walked away from the door before opening a panel in the wall and activating the Tweebes latest security countermeasures. After all, it was better safe than sorry when dealing with someone as...determined as Doctor Director.

***

Cassie tried not to giggle as she was watching the Slayer’s back...and backside if she was being honest. They were sneaking up on a Sleazy demon (well that was what she and Buffy were calling it. It’s close to Sh’ Lehziy right?)and its corpse vampire followers while Mr. Giles was acting as long range support, when her communicator went off. This of course clued the demons into the fact that they were not alone and started the obligatory fight and quip fest. 

About halfway through the fight (as in the vamps all being dusted and the sleazy demon being all that was left but was just too...sleazy to get a hold of), Cassie tapped the rather insistent communicator and growled, “I’m busy Red Robin. If it’s that damn important, take the project case with you and have her kill it.”

“I thought you’d like to know that Ms. Possible used the emergency code that you installed in her communication device and that we are on our way to help her,” Red Robin commented back calmly. “Is there something you could use some help with while we’re in route?”

“Nope,” she quipped as she ducked one of the Sleazy demon’s tentacles.

“Ask him if he knows anything about sleazy demons,” Buffy called out.

“Does she mean Sh’ Lehziy demons?” Red Robin asked over the comm.

“That sound like what her Watcher said,” Cassie confirmed as she dodged again. “Looks like your typical Hentai tentacle monster only with barbs on the tentacles. Remind me to bludgeon Beast Boy for making me watch that Angel of Darkness movie.”

“Is there any water nearby?” Red Robin asked, ignoring Cassie’s threat to their team mate. 

Cassie rolled away and took a quick look. “Does a sprinkler system work?”

“Sh’ Lehziy have a catastrophically fatal reaction to water.”

Cassie nodded to herself in understanding as she started climbing towards the fire suppression system. “How about anyone caught nearby?”

“Unpleasant but not injurious.”

“Good to know,” She quipped as she jumped up and broke the sprinklers, causing water to spray all around the floor and most definitely on the Sleazy Demon. She landed next to Buffy and the both of them braced themselves for whatever would happen next.

Which just happened to be the Sleazy Demon exploding into so much Sleazy goo, covering our two erstwhile heroes. Cassie scowled as she could hear Red Robin snickering over the communicator. “I will have my vengeance Timothy.”

“I did say it was catastrophic,” Red Robin pointed out.

“You forgot to mention it exploding into goo,” Cassie countered.

“You’re not injured.” 

“Our outfits are ruined and we’re seven blocks from the nearest place to clean up.”

“My mom is so going to kill me,” Buffy groaned. “I just got this blouse.”

Cassie sighed and started towards the nearest door. “Are you going to need us to join you in Middleton?”

“Not really,” Red Robin answered. “According to what she sent, we’re just going to show up in force and scare a rogue government agency into disbanding like they’re supposed to. The League’s actually going to take point.”

“Give Diana my love and Kim my unbridled lust,” Cassie snarked as she turned off the communicator. “Do you think Mr. Giles would be willing to give us a ride to your mom’s?”

Buffy flung some goo off of her hand and gave Cassie a disgusted look. “I don’t want to sit down covered in this.”

Cassie sighed. “And here I was hoping to use my last freebie to go to Amsterdam for my birthday.” She reactivated her communicator and called out. Wonder Girl to Watchtower, two to transport to station.”

***

Martin Edgecombe walked into the gentlemen’s club that served as a front for the London chapter of the Knights of Walpurgis completely unaware of the shadow that was following him. That the shadow had been following him since he arrived at the Leaky Cauldron and caught the attention of one Ginevra Weasley (who was actually there to clean out one of Peter’s bolt holes, but that’s a topic for another time) would show just how lacking in situational awareness he was. 

Ginny watched the building for half an hour, making note of people coming and going as well as the subtle clues that told her that this particular club was something other than it appeared. As she had been about to go in and start what was becoming her own special brand of trouble shooting, she caught Mr. Edgecombe exiting the building out a side entrance and making a hasty retreat down a rather crowded street. “

“Well bugger,” Ginny pouted. “I really wanted to hurt that arse. Well nothing else to be done but go in and do a little redecorating I guess. Perhaps I’ll get lucky and snag some actual dark wizards beyond the usual racist prigs.” She silently made her way over to a less visible side of the building and made her way to the roof.

Unbeknownst to her, the reason for Edgecombe’s rapid retreat was his meeting a few minutes previous with his superiors in the Knights of Walpurgis. When he innocently asked about the title “Shadow of Aucoin” he was instantly met with fear and terror from men who gleefully killed in the name of racial purity. 

You see, in trying to pick a name that would show her allegiance to Harry but not put an even bigger target on his back, Ginny had accidentally named herself after a rather infamous enemy of the Knights and Gellert Grindenwald in particular. He was known for cutting large swaths though the ranks of his enemies and had never been identified beyond his title.

In truth, the previous Shadow of Aucoin was actually several people building a myth about a nazi hunting ghost and at the end of the war, no one wanted to come forward less they made themselves a target of the few remaining sympathizers who were still around. The last person to actually use the name was killed by Grindenwald in a pitched battle that happened hours before the famous duel with Dumbledore and was more likely the reason that the wizard won than any actual skill on his behalf. 

Regardless, the mere mention of the name had sent the club into a panic and Edgecombe was barely able to make it out before the Knights sealed themselves in, waiting for the inevitable attack. Had Ginny simply gone in wands blazing, she would have been cut down before even firing a single spell. 

Lucky for her, she decided to do a little shock and awe effect before charging in to kill the lot of them. Taking a vial of Erumpent exploding fluid out of one of the protective carriers in her suit, she dropped it down what she was sure was a chimney. It was in actuality an exhaust vent for the boiler in the basement. Which was in relative close proximity to several illicit and actually quite explosive materials often used in dark rituals, including but not limited to a half dozen Erumpent horns and a vat of Malaclaw venom.   
So instead of the “Bang” that she was expecting, she was surprised by a series of ground shaking explosions and was barely able to get to a nearby roof top and scramble away from the ever increasing wave of destruction. She had urged herself into a dead run and several jumps to nearby buildings later, she finally found herself safe four buildings away.  
Unbeknownst to her, a nearby building (one that she had actually used in her escape in point of fact) happened to be the primary headquarters of the infamous Watcher’s Council. Now while the building was not seriously harmed, the Malaclaw venom was vaporized but not destroyed... and dispersed into the nearby buildings. Namely, the Watcher council headquarters (And the law firm of Shyster and Swindle but more on that later). 

Ginny found herself gazing back at the brand new hole in the London skyline and swallowed nervously. “Hopefully no one saw me,” she muttered before climbing back down to ground level and disappearing in to the crowded London streets.

***

Draco sat at the café sipping his tea (he didn’t care what the local custom was, he was British damn it and he simply couldn’t get started with out a decent cuppa) waiting for his meeting with the one member of his former coterie that he still gave a damn about and wouldn’t be able to head to Longbottom’s protection. In truth, he was more than a little nervous for his one childhood friend and even if he didn’t return her affections, there still was some concern for her.

He felt tension he hadn’t realized he was carrying when he saw the pug nosed girl enter the café and try to look inconspicuous as she sat at the far side of the room. He started to stand when he caught the subtle shake of her head. Passing his brief movement off as simply getting more comfortable, he slipped into their old hand code.

[Were you followed?]

[Of course,] she signaled back. [Dark Lord wants leverage on your father. Livid about getting the boot from manor.]

Draco snorted. [That was me. Lucius is not Lord Malfoy anymore. Who is following you?]

Pansy’s raised eyebrow spoke volumes. [Father,] she quickly signed. [There is other news. I’m supposed to see if you have any information on a Shadow of Aucoin. Apparently they have been killing Death Eaters.]

[No idea. Do you want assistance getting away from your father?]

Pansy smirked. [Taken care of. Would you happen to have a spare room? Preferably one with nubile serving boys to slake my carnal desires with?]

Draco was about to reply when a conspicuously inconspicuous man outside the café grabbed his throat and fell down choking before quickly expiring. Draco tried to appear nonchalant as he sipped his tea and signed. [Ah, poison. Nice work. Have room but you will have to supply serving boys.]

Pansy rolled her eyes and sighed. [Story of my life.]

***

Hermione curled up next to Tonks as they sat in the DMLE office waiting for the final paperwork on Hermione’s protection order was completed. “This is ridiculous,” she muttered. “A safe house? We are being put up in a safe house? I’m not made of glass.”

“Oh hush,” Tonks admonished before placing a kiss on Hermione’s forehead. “We’re buying the safehouse from the DMLE and then putting it under a fidelis with Mr. Weasley as the secret keeper.”

“I never understood why one of us couldn’t be the secret Keeper,” Hermione groused.

“Tell me about your neighborhood,” Tonks prodded.

“Well it’s this lovely place in Crawley that has a...” Hermione’s eyes widened at what she had just said. “I...how...why did I just start rattling off information?”

“It’s human nature,” Tonks replied. “If you like your neighborhood, you want to tell everyone about it so they can share in your happiness. If you hate your neighborhood, you want to warn off all your friends so they know to steer clear. Therefore, if you’re the secret keeper for your own place, you’ll invariably tell everyone or at least enough people that the secret collapses. The trick is finding someone that you trust with the information but doesn’t have a vested interest in the location.”

“I still can’t believe that woman was willing to sell us out for Harry’s autograph,” Hermione grumbled. 

“I’m still trying to figure Ogden’s angle,” Tonks confirmed. “I mean unless it’s just trying to get even with you or me, he just made himself an enemy of the entire DMLE.”

Hermione was about to comment when an alert rang through the DMLE. “Holy shit,” one of the Aurors shouted. “The Rein Club.”

“What are those Walpurgis pieces of dung done?” Kingsley demanded as he marched out of his office. 

The Auror looked up. “Well it’s more what’s been done to them sir. The building was leveled. It looks like their wards were at max so the blast was largely contained, but the explosion was big enough to kill everyone inside. The Muggle Authorities are calling it a terrorist attack, but it looks like someone targeted the terrorists to me. Um...do we tell the muggles?”

Tonks sat there gaping as she watched the byplay forcing Hermione to ask. “What’s the Rein Club?”

“A front for the Knights of Walpurgis,” Tonks replied numbly. “We knew they funded different groups like the Death Eaters but could never prove it. There’s always about fifteen to twenty wizards inside itching for a fight so we never even considered raiding it. Too much of a cost in lives. Someone just dealt the pureblood movement a major kick in the block and tackle.”

Hermione blinked and cocked her head in thought. “Director Shacklebolt, would you say there is a risk of retaliation?”

Kingsley went from stunned to absolutely pale. “All Aurors are on alert and I want triple coverage of both Diagon Alley and Hogsmead! Contact Longbottom Manor and alert them of what happened. Tonks, as soon as Arthur returns I want you and Ms. Granger in that safe house. No arguments.”

Hermione huffed and crossed her arms.

Tonks chuckled and pulled Hermione closer. “You’re being a bit childish.”

“Apparently I am a child from the way everyone is treating me.”

“Well far be it for me to speak for Kingsley,” Tonks drawled, “but I for one have no intention of treating you in any way close to a child when we get to our new home.”

“Oh?”

Tonks leaned in and began whispering into Hermione’s ear, causing the young lady to quickly go half lidded and shudder in pleasure. Before the scene could devolve much further, Arthur stepped through the secure floo smiling at the couple. 

“The Fidelis is set and I have the address written right here.”

“Gimme!” Hermione shouted as she bolted for the paper. She quickly read it and handed it to Tonks before dragging the Auror to the apparition point. 

“Thanks Mr. Weasley,” Tonks yelled as she was being drug away.

Arthur blinked and looked around. “Did I miss something?”

***

Neville fell on his backside for the fifth time in the twelve minute training session and slapped his hand on the ground in frustration. “What the bloody hell am I doing wrong?”  
Millicent sighed and offered a hand. “You’re watching my feet and hands.”

Neville took it and stood up. “What should I be watching?”

“Hips and shoulders,” Millicent responded automatically. “Of course Collin says you can usually get away with watching my tits and arse.”

Neville snorted. “Doesn’t that usually get people knocked on their arse.”

“I’m already knocking you on your arse,” Millicent snarked. “What’s the difference?”

“Good point. Okay, any other tips?”

“Pay attention to what you’re doing and not your going to be doing to your girls later.”

Neville blinked and looked at Millicent. “Excuse me?”

Millicent rolled her eyes and motioned over to the edge of the training area. “You’re distracted Longbottom. Merlin knows I understand with those three willing to do what ever strikes your fancy, but it’s a distraction. You’ve got so many irons in the fire that you’re not sure if you’re coming or going and let’s be honest, you’d much rather be coming.”

“That’s a rather crass way of putting things,” Neville growled defensively.

“Tell me I’m wrong,” Millicent challenged. When Neville looked away, she snorted. “That’s what I thought. Like I said, I completely understand. As a matter of fact, I’m hoping do become distracted with that piece of prime Bulgarian that showed up today if he’s willing, but you need to learn how to keep that stuff outside the training area.”

Neville sighed and ran a hand through his hair. “You’re right. I’m sorry for wasting you time today.”

“Who said you were wasting my time?” Millicent countered. “I got to spend the last twelve minutes throwing a Gryffindor around while checking out Victor Krum’s back side. It’s all good to me. Besides, I doubt you’ll need to have all this martial arts stuff the way I hear you wield a wand.”

“Yeah, everyone is impressed with how I handle my wand.” Neville blinked then face palmed. “You did that on purpose.”

Millicent grinned unrepentantly as she picked up a glass of water from a nearby table. “You Gryffs are too easy some times.” She took a drink then stopped as something caught her eye. “A couple Aurors are heading this way.”

Neville turned and blinked as the two red robed wizards approached. “How can I help you, sirs?”

“There was an attack on a prominent pureblood establishment in London,” one of the Aurors explained. “Director Shacklebolt is concerned there may be a chance of retaliation and asked us to shut this down.”

Neville looked at the Auror steadily, his wand casually palmed. “Did Kingsley explicitly say to shut this down or are you taking the initiative for your terrorist master?”  
“What?” the Auror got out before both were stunned from behind. 

Neville grinned at the two Sleeping Dragons that had managed to sneak up on the Aurors and hit them from behind. “Good job. Now strip them down and we’ll interrogate them before handing back to Kingsley. Anyone know where we can get some veritaserum?”

“Please,” Victor asked as he stepped up, “Allow me to handle the interrogation. We shall soon have all the information they know without the expensive use of controlled potions.”

“Mind if I help?” Millicent asked with a smile.

“Interrogation is not for the faint of heart,” Victor warned.

“I have been called many things in my life,” Millicent replied. “Faint of heart isn’t one of them.”

Victor nodded in acceptance. “Very well, we will need a nursing calf and a place where we can force these men to stand.”

Neville began to ask why but then reconsidered. “You know, I’m just going to notify Minister Bones about us detaining these two and block the rest of that out.”

“Probably for the best,” Millicent commented as she helped Victor with the detainees.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: Nope, still don't own it. Yep, it's still not for kids.

Chapter 8

Quentin Travers was having decidedly the worst day of his life since he had assumed leadership of the Watcher’s Council. Possibly the worse day of his existence if he was being honest with himself. This was even worse then when that Summers chit threatened to beat him to a bloody pulp. Not the extra Slayer, the other one that turned out to be an experiment by the Yanks. It was then that he remembered that they spelled their names differently and were likely completely unrelated. Why that had seeped in his mind to distract him at that moment in time completely flummoxed the Wizard.

Getting back to the matters at hand, Quentin fumed over the forty-seven different reports of his agents being arrested in various and sundry nations for attempted kidnapping as well as stalking, voyeurism and several other crimes that would have them spending rather uncomfortable stays in various prisons around the globe. That these crimes involved minors just added a rotten cherry to the crap cake. It was absolutely bewildering how the seers had screwed up this terribly for every agent to go at the least auspicious time to collect their potentials.

He scowled as he looked over the financial statements next. Apparently all the Council’s previously stellar investments had tanked in a twenty-four hour period and left the Council officially bankrupt. Even their hidden caches had been taking a beating as various third world governments had taken to raiding them to shore their failing regimes. What was left was being hit by the so-called super heroes working off of tips that terror cells were stockpiling resources for attacks against the bastions of freedom and justice. If this kept up, the Council would be bankrupt within the week.

“This has to be that brat Summer’s fault,” he muttered as he went to the next report on his desk. It seemed that the extraction crew sent to collect Miss Lehane not only didn’t arrive before she was moved but also found themselves dealing with a mischievous House Elf that delivered them to Bogota, Columbia, without their passports but with enough gay pornography to ensure them life sentences in the very Catholic nation. That they were also tied up in compromising positions probably didn’t help their cause either. 

He threw the report down on his desk in disgust and made his way to his office window. There was still another pile of other reports coming in, each with equally distressing news for the council. From Sam Zabuto and that idiot Wyndam-Price turning states evidence against the Council in Commonwealth Court to the queen revoking their Royal Warrant, it seemed that the whole world was turning against the Council. At least the bloody Wizarding world wasn’t after their heads as well. 

He looked down to see the work crews still removing the rubble from the Rein Club’s ruins and shook his head in dismay. If any day he could use a drink and commiseration, it was today. He thought back to all the groundwork they had laid for the eventual takeover of the world, all gone down the drain so quickly. Even his son Corbin being close enough to the Dark Lord to take him down once all the dirty work had been completed. Now it was all so much shite and he without a shovel.

So distracted was Quentin that he didn’t notice the bright red dot on his chest, something that his years of spending time in the filthy Muggle world would normally make him aware of. But at this particular moment he was in a rather bigoted pureblood state of mind and wasn’t aware of the fact that Checkmate’s top sniper team of Steven Rogers and James Rhodes had lined up the shot and were simply waiting for orders to take out the newly perceived threat to liberty.

It was something he would continue to be oblivious to as when the order was given agent Rhodes had scored his seventh instant kill of his career. The Council’s existence was only a few hours longer as the building was raided mere moments after by a joint task force of Checkmate and British SAS Officers.

***

Faith Lehane awoke inside a cell that looked to be made of steel and plexiglass (huh, I guess she is appearing in this story after all). As she looked around, she notice that a similar cell was situated opposite her and occupied by a green skinned woman with long black hair. 

“Welcome to Monte Cristo,” the other woman called out as she filed her nails. “About time you woke up. They only brought you in seven hours ago. I figured you’d have woken up from hunger before now.”

As if in response to the other woman’s comment, Faith’s stomach started to growl. She cautiously got up and started examining the contents of the room and found an intercom unit attached to the wall. Cautiously, she pressed the button and called out, “Hello?”

“Ah Ms. Lehane,” a voice on the other end responded. “Good to see you are finally awake. We’ll have some food down to you and your roommate shortly. I will leave it to her to explain the rules for the time being and we’ll have a much longer conversation once my associates and I have cleared up some other unpleasantness we’ve been forced to deal with. Until then, please consider this at least a partial payment of your debt to society.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” Faith protested weakly.

“Ms. Lehane don’t take us for fools,” the voice chided. “We are fully aware of the two murders you committed in Sunnydale as well as your participation in the attempted ascension of a greater demon that took place shortly after you falling into a coma. We also know of your shall we say colorful life before you gained your metahuman abilities. As I said, we will be having a much longer discussion later and Ms. Goh will explain the rules of your stay here for now. If you require something, be it writing supplies or something of a more personal nature, feel free to press the intercom button and ask. If it is determined to be reasonable, we’ll make sure to supply you with what you need.”

Faith was left gaping as a small doorway opened and presented a large pepperoni and sausage pizza and a six pack of Sam Adams. Cautiously, she pulled out both the beer and the pizza before returning to her bed. “They do realize that I’m only sixteen right?” she asked the woman across from her.

The woman shrugged as she had retrieved a salad and a six pack herself and mimicked Faith’s actions. “Probably, but seeing as you’re in beyond super max they figure to just give you what you want. I’m Shego by the way.” she bit into the salad and moaned throatily. “Oh yeah, way better than the garbage Global Justice would try to feed me. You don’t know how good real food is until you’re forced to eat that crap.”

Faith tentatively took a bite of pizza and was pleased to find it was definitely one of the best slices she’d had since she last passed through New York. She then opened a beer and took a long pull before sighing in satisfaction. It wasn’t the best beer she’d had but it was far better than some of the crap that mass market tried to pull off. “So what’s this about rules?” she asked after she finished off her first slice.

“Not really that hard if you ask me,” Shego commented. “Keep your cell clean. Don’t threaten each other. Don’t make Waller come down here to straighten things out. Don’t piss off the heroes if they come down to talk to you. Mind your manners and don’t talk back. Basically keep you head down and do your time. If you’re really good, Waller will arrange an outing to get you some time off.” 

“What kind of outings?”

“Things the world needs done but probably would make the good guys balk.”

“Like killing,” Faith said with a sour look. She didn’t know why, but she was a lot more reluctant to take a life now than when she was before her little nap.

“Actually more like sabotage, smuggling people out of countries that are holding them illegally, and generally pantsing people that want to destroy the world.” Shego watched the girl for a few moments before commenting further. “You do know that you were probably coerced into doing what you did, right.”

Faith jerked her head up and glared back at Shego. “No one makes me do nuthin’ I don’t want,” she snarled.

“You’re sixteen,” Shego countered. “Also a drop out if I’m not mistaken. You’re the right age and education level to be easily manipulated. Your attitude also helps those with a bit more experience and know how to lead you around by the nose. Even worse, your paranoia makes it so that you are suspicious of the wrong sort of people. Always out to go along with the people that hand you things for a job than those that actually want to help you. Hell, you’re hardwired to be the lackey and probably have been since your mom sold you for...what was it? A fix? A bottle of Jack?”

“Mind your own fuckin’ business,” Faith snapped feeling her control of her accent slipping. 

Shego snorted and went back to her salad. “Whatever Buttercup. Just know I’m here if you actually want to talk about it.”

“Why would I want to talk to a loser like you,” Faith snarled and went back to her pizza.

Shego smirked to herself and continued eating her salad.

***

Arthur entered Amelia’s office to find her rubbing her temples in frustration. He quietly walked around behind her and started rubbing her shoulder eliciting an appreciative moan from the rapidly relaxing Minister of Magic. 

“I’ll give you til the end of eternity to stop,” she told him softly.

“That bad a day so far?” Arthur asked, a hint of amusement in his voice.

“That stressful,” Amelia returned. “It seems that there were several people that were unaware that their bribes to the Minister didn’t mean anything now that he had been replaced and they were rather upset that they were being hauled in by an unusually vigilant contingent of Aurors doing their job. I just got the howlers redirected about ten minutes ago. I hope Albus enjoys them as much as I did.”

Arthur chuckled. “Well I see a drop in crime in your administrations future in that case. That’s sure to look good in the upcoming election.”

“Only to be mirrored by the accounts of Auror stupidity towards heroes of the wizarding world,” she countered. “Kingsley sent Dawlish and Collins to warn Neville about possible retaliation attacks in response to the Rein club’s destruction and one of the idiots decided to try shutting them down instead. The two idiots walked in bold as brass and talked down to a Lord before being stunned in the back. Neville interrogated them and found they were just idiots instead of Death Eater sympathizers, but I doubt Dawlish will ever be the same again after what they did to him.”

“I’d feel sorry for the lad but John always was a bit of a pillock,” Arthur commented as he began working on a particularly stubborn knot. “Is that all that has you stressed?”

“I have to meet the Muggle Minister today and I’m not relishing having to tell him that the wizarding world may be on the brink of war. I contacted Constantine and asked him to join us so that we can determine just what the rest of the world is to know. Did you know that the statute of secrecy was vacated by the magical UN fifteen or so years ago? Only Britain and Egypt still uphold it.”

“Really?” Arthur responded with a bit of surprise. “Aren’t they worried about how the Muggles would react?”

“Apparently there has been an up tick in powered Muggles across the globe,” she replied with a smile. “Wizards and Witches are pointedly passe by comparison. It was only an issue here due to Albus Dumbledore and a contingent of purebloods afraid of losing their grip on power. I’m considering whether we should approach the Muggle Minister about folding our government under his like so many other nations have already done.”

“People will say you are making a play for power,” Arthur warned.

“I’d be eliminating my job as well as the entire Wizengammot. Not to mention cutting taxes by twenty seven percent if your son’s estimates are correct.”

“You’ve talked this over with William?” Arthur asked more than a bit surprised.

“No, Percival. He actually has a rather uncanny head for numbers. I don’t want the Goblins to realize we’re going to the Muggle side of things until it’s too late. Seems that they may have been less than honest with the Wizarding world over the years and I want the backing of the Muggles before we knock them down off their high horse.”

“You’ve lost me Amelia.”

“The Goblins have been less than honest about just how much our money is worth and have been keeping us in an artificially deflated economy for centuries. That may just be why they have a rebellion every couple generations. As long as we are afraid they’ll rise up we’re not as likely to enquire about the value of our currency. According to Sirius’ letters to the ministry, Lily figured it out just before she and James married and blackmailed the little blighters into more favorable rates. If they’ve been hiding that, what else have the bastards been doing behind our backs?”

“Good point,” Arthur conceded. “Still, this isn’t likely to go over well.”

“Which is why I’m not even going to start going through with it until after our dark lord problem has been dealt with.” she mewled pleasurably as Arthur got another troublesome knot to release. “Distract me with some good news Arthur. How is Ginevra faring?”

“Surprisingly well considering she has been home alone the last couple weeks. I understand that she has even been visited by a couple of her former house mates who were concerned about her living alone with a bunch of men. I offered to put them up there due to my ah...”

“Lack of presence?” Amelia offered, feeling equally guilty about her part in his absenteeism. 

“Quite,” Arthur agreed. “And Miss Spinnet seemed amenable to the idea. I was planning on going home tonight and talking it over with Ginny to see how keen on the idea she was. In fact, I was wondering if you would care to accompany me.”

Amelia winced. “Are you sure? I mean we haven’t suggested her joining us at Longbottom Manor because we weren’t sure how she would take our relationship.”

“Actually it was more that her Mind Healer said that the privacy would do her good,” Arthur admitted. “Regardless, it would be better to get it all out in the open and this way she will still have her privacy and now have someone to talk to.”

“You’re not trying to shield her from Neville’s bunch are you?”

“Hardly,” Arthur said with a chuckle. “William has been teaching her on his days off from Gringotts and I’ll imagine that Miss Spinnet will as well. According to Minerva, she has an aptitude for charms and transfiguration.”

“Very well,” Amelia said with a sigh. “This isn’t some next step towards getting me down the aisle is it?”

Arthur snorted. “Please. What do either of us need with the headache of a wedding at this time?”

***

Neville pulled at the neck of his business robes as he and Fay were making their way to the main floo. “Do we have everything laid out?”

Fay nodded as she flipped through the expanded file one last time. “It appears so. The only thing we left behind was the Black property you just inherited, and you were rather adamant about leaving that for when Harry returns.”

“I promised him we’d look at it together. Now after the Goblins, what do we have planned?”

“There is a meeting with Director Shacklebolt about the status of the imprisoned Death Eaters, then a Luncheon with Hermione and her escort followed by slamming me up against a wall behind the restaurant and fucking me cross-eyed.”

Neville raised an eyebrow. “You actually scheduled a fuck session in the middle of our day.”

“Three actually,” Fay answered with a grin. “Your afternoon meeting with Ambassador Constantine is likely to be stressful and you really wouldn’t want to be stressed before visiting your parents would you?”

“So after the Constantine meeting...”

“I’m going to drag you off to a hotel room and ride you like a hippogriff. After visiting your parents, we’ll go back to the room and screw again before heading down to the Ministry and having Minister Bones officiate our wedding as well as sign Susan into the line continuation contract.”

“Which will be followed by more screwing,” Neville commented casually, fighting the snort of laughter that threatened to escape.

“Well you screwing Susan.” Fay responded. “I don’t want to seem greedy”

“Of course not.” Any further words from Neville were interrupted by an angry shout from the direction of the floo.

“What do you mean you hadn’t told him! You idiot woman! How the bloody hell do you think he’s going to react when he finds out!”

“That’s uncle Algie,” Neville said softly, stopping just outside the entry to the room.

“He’s too vulnerable to hear such distressing news. I’ve just been waiting for the right time.”

“And that’s your gran,” Fay whispered.

“Augusta, the boy has a visit scheduled for this afternoon before meeting Amelia! Didn’t you think he might notice his father’s empty bed! Especially since the man hasn’t left it for as long as Neville can remember!”

“What has happened to my father?” Neville asked as he stepped into the room.

Both elders looked at him in shock before Algernon replied bluntly, “He died. Likely not long after you assumed headship.”

Neville nodded absently before turning to his gran. “How long have you known this?”

“Neville, I-“

“How long?”

Augusta looked somewhat torn. “About an hour after you had returned from Bones manor. I was simply trying to spare you the pain. I would have told you eventually, but you have so much going on I didn’t want to intrude.”

“Completely understandable,” Neville said in a somewhat detached manner.

“Really?” Algernon asked in surprise.

“Of course not,” Neville said with a much tighter voice. “I’m just trying to keep my temper in control lest I pull a Potter and turn my grandmother into a fine red mist. I should have been told the bloody day it happened. Instead the woman I had looked up to as a mother figure for years decides to hide important information from me as if I’m the fragile invalid and not my parents. What else have I not been told because my delicate nature? Have there been any Wizengammot votes that weren’t necessary to concern me with? Was there a Death Eater trial that I was too frail to attend?”

“Neville,” Augusta pleaded, “You are taking so much on I didn’t -“

“Silence!” Neville hissed, his magic crackling through the room. He turned to Algernon. “Has my father been laid to rest by his wishes?”

Algernon nodded. “He was cremated and his ashes taken to the family crypt as is the custom of all Longbottom lords.”

Neville nodded solemnly. “At least some things are done appropriately. Can I ask you to take over regency of the Longbottom seat? I seem to find the current regent lacking and can not condone her continuing in the position.” Neville noticed his gran pale at his words, but couldn’t bring himself to care at the moment.

“Are you sure you want to do this lad?” Algernon asked softly.

“She seems to forget that I am the lord and she merely my advisor. She sides with those who would keep me weak instead of trying to help me become strong. Most egregiously, she secrets away that which I need to know and maneuvers behind my back.” he turned and looked directly at his gran. “Dawlish confessed that it was you that encouraged his bout of stupidity yesterday. I was going to confront you about that tonight to get your point of view, but now I find your view unnecessary. If we weren’t at a state of war, I would through your arse out in the street. As it stands, you are no longer welcome in this house. You will move by the end of the day to the Longbottom estate in Oslo. You will stay there until such time as I am no longer angry or you decide to leave the protection of the family. As far as I am concerned, you are dead to me.”

Fay took his hand and squeezed it. “My lord, do you wish for me to-“

“No,” Neville gently cut her off. “We have a schedule to keep. Uncle Algie, can I count on you to see to Augusta?”

“Yes Lord Longbottom,” the head Unspeakable said formally. “For what it is worth, I am sorry you found out this way.”

“Not as sorry as I,” Neville replied before grabbing a bit of floo powder and throwing it in to the fire yelling out, “Gringotts Bank!”

***

Severus was enjoying his morning coffee (Valhalla Java Odinforce blend, brewed with a pepper up potion thank you very much) as Lupin made his way into the sitting room. Severus suppressed a smirk at the wolf’s wrinkled nose directed towards his drink of choice and offered his guest a prepared pot of tea. As the two both sat back and appreciated their own morning ritual beverages, Severus decided to approach the reason for Lupin’s presence.

“So what do you think about Lily’s research?”

Lupin looked momentarily pensive before replying. “It’s promising, though it does present a problem for you. What will You-Know-Who say when he finds out you are taking away his instrument of terror? And then there’s Greyback to worry about as well. I’m not saying that you don’t follow it, just that you should be aware of the implications. If this cure really works, it could very well make you a target.”

“As well as Mr. Potter,” Severus conceded. “It would be disingenuous for me to not include Lily’s name as the originator of the idea and since the detractors would not be able to attack her, they would undoubtably go after her son. Still, would you be willing to be my first test subject?”

“Of course,” Lupin responded. “I would do just about anything to be rid of this curse. Do you have anyone else lined up?”

Severus gave Lupin a thin smile. “I was considering Greyback actually.”

“Are you mad?”

“Well I never said he was going to be a willing test subject,” Severus drawled. “I was just going to shoot him with one of those Muggle tranquilizer darts filled with the potion. This is of course after I have tested it on willing participants.”

Lupin found he was unable to make a coherent response for several seconds before he finally asked, “Would you mind terribly if I was the one to shoot him?”

“Depends,” Severus responded. “How’s your aim? We’re likely to only get one shot at this.”

The wards pinged before the conversation could go much further and Severus quickly closed his eyes, letting his senses take in the information the wards were attempting to feed him. He scowled when he realized that the person that set his wards off was a marked follower of the Dark Lord. Unlike the previous time when the follower stopped then left, this time they were coming directly to his public entrance. As his Animagus alert hadn’t been triggered he was also certain that it wasn’t Wormtail. 

He opened his eyes and looked at Lupin. “One of the Dark Lord’s followers is approaching my door. As it is not Pettigrew, I feel we are somewhat safe but it is likely that I am being summoned.”

Lupin frowned in thought before responding. “How long would it take to brew the potion?”

“Several hours if I am uninjured,” answered Severus. “A condition that I would not be in if I were to meet the Dark Lord. His mood has been less than pleasant of late.”

Lupin nodded in thought before standing. “I’ll get rid of him. I’ll tell him that you were sent away by Dumbledore on a mission.” A grin played across his face. “In fact, I’ll say that you were sent after Harry. That way when you are able to go to him, you can say that you were intending to bring the boy to him.”

Severus was impressed. “That was rather thought out, wolf. But what would explain your presence?”

“I’m monitoring the completion of several potions for Hogwarts that were too sensitive to be brewed at the school, but not so fussy as to require a master’s presence.”

“And what if it is someone that knows you?”

Lupin shrugged. “Piercing hex to their head. We are in a state of war after all and I could use the bounty money to finish Grimmauld.”

Severus rolled his eyes and shooed him on. After the wolf had left, Severus pulled the note from behind the portrait out and looked it over again. There was something unsettling about it. It was as if something was whispering to him about the parchment, some half forgotten memory that he should remember. He was still staring at it when Lupin had returned from his self appointed mission chuckling. Severus looked up at him curiously.

“Do you recall Angus Murphy?”

“I recall teaching him my first year at Hogwarts,” Severus responded. “Please tell me he hasn’t taken the mark.”

“Unfortunately I can’t,” Lupin said ruefully. “Fortunately for us, it looks to be most reluctantly. He was indeed sent to retrieve you, but obviously didn’t say it in those words. He left word that you were to contact Lord Parkinson at your earliest convenience. I’m actually surprised that You-know-who didn’t summon you through your mark.”

Severus looked thoughtful. “The Dark Lord’s current base is under a fidelis. It is likely what he needs me for would require my full capabilities and he did not want me distracted by not knowing where I was. Young Murphy was likely sent with a message from the Secret keeper to tell me the Dark Lord’s location.”

“A pity then,” Lupin sighed. “We could have had the location if I had simply captured him.”

“Are you telling me that you wish to jump into a confrontation with the Dark Lord and who knows how many of his followers around him?”

“Good point.” Lupin glanced at the letter. “Something else bothering you?”

Severus sighed. “The bloody post script on this note. A question that even the mutt would have found imbecilic. Why is the national anthem God save the Queen when Elton John wasn’t born until 1947?”

“Because Albus fucking Dumbledore was screwing with the country half a century before that and is at heart a coward,” Lupin responded automatically. At Severus’ incredulous expression, he explained. “It was something James and Lilly were always muttering under their breath there towards the end of the last war. Sort of a way to stay sane with Albus constantly telling people not to kill those that were trying to kill them.”

Severus was about to comment when the paper flashed and started rewriting itself. He looked down in amazement as a script not the mutt’s appeared revealing the words Remus is the secret keeper for the location of Lily’s greatest treasure. 

Severus blinked and handed the letter to Lupin. “Do you have any idea what this could refer to?”

Lupin looked at it then briefly grabbed his head. “Oh bloody hell. I have to get a hold of Harry and Neville as soon as possible.” He made his way over to the floo and threw in some powder. “Ministry of Magic!”

“Why the hurry?” Severus asked as he joined him at the floo.

“Their sister will be waking up in about a month and we’ll need both of them to let her out.”

“Their sister?!?”

***

Tonks woke up feeling something wasn’t right with the world. It took her a couple minutes for the fog to clear and her to realize that the something that wasn’t right was the fact that Hermione was no longer in bed with her. With a sigh and a shake of her head, the Auror pulled on her dressing robe and went to look for the missing object of her affection. “I don’t care if I have to shoot them,” Tonks muttered. “There’s no way I’m losing her.”

She found the young woman in what they had dubbed the study (and christened three times the previous night, but who’s counting?) Busily scrawling across a sheet of parchment like a woman possessed. Tonks noted that her young lover had smudged a bit of ink on her cheek and hadn’t bothered to put so much as a pair of knickers on before coming in here to work. It was at once amusing and a bit of a turn on.

She cleared her throat to get Hermione’s attention. “What are you doing up?”

Hermione looked up, appearing more than a little unfocused. “Hu-whah? Nym? I...” She glanced down at the paper then back up at Tonks. “I got an idea for something and had to write it down before I forgot it. Originally I was going to just make a quick note, but then I had another idea on it and another and I didn’t just want to forget them so I wrote them down as well and now...” She sheepishly stepped away from the desk. “I think I may be ready for a prototype.”

Tonks walked over and looked down at the sheet. The arithmancy was far beyond anything that she could even comprehend and the cylindrical drawing did nothing to explain what Hermione had come up with. “What is it?”

“An Organic Scanning, Nano-coding and Adaptation Program with an easy to swallow delivery system,” Hermione responded quickly.

“Which means?” Tonks asked with a raised eyebrow.

“It’s a way to encode certain abilities onto another’s genome by taking a pill.”

Tonks blinked. “And you came up with this last night?”

Hermione blushed, something that Tonks noted was nearly full body. “Well, it started last night when you shifted into that more masculine form and started taking me with you newly formed...” Hermione glazed a bit with a dopey expression on her face before shaking herself and coming back to her train of thought. “Anyway, I was feeling sad that I wouldn’t be able to do the same for you, well not with the same sense of spontaneity that you had shown and my mind started asking what if I could. 

“Genetics has shown that it is just a matter of finding just where an ability is located on the genome and determining whether it can be activated in the person. After that, a modified potion can deliver the ability if not the skill to control it and since the potion would be something akin to polyjuice, it stood to reason that a delivery system could be integrated to avoid the horrid taste.” Hermione’s full body blush deepened. “I sort of got carried away. I meant to be back in bed after only a few minutes, not an hour and a half.”

“It’s alright,” Tonks soothed as she pulled her lover into an embrace. “This was touching if a bit odd. Still, it’s a lot of work for getting some ability for an hour or so.”

“Oh the effect is permanent,” Hermione perked up. “I was able to crack the polyjuice conundrum as well. It turns out that the only reason the change isn’t permanent is because you’re trying to rewrite the whole genome instead of a few pieces. This opens us up to a whole world of cures and solutions, possibly even-“ Hermione found her speech stopped by Tonks lips on hers. 

After luxuriating in the surprise kiss for a few moments, Tonks pulled back and looked at the younger woman. “Explain it to me later. Right now I want to get you showered and shagged before we have to meet Lord Longbottom for lunch.”

“Right,” Hermione whispered. “Any chance we can change the order of those events?”

Tonks smirked. “I was going to be doing them at the same time.” She further demonstrated this by picking Hermione up and carrying her to the bathroom bridal style.

***

Seven figures in black cloaks appeared at the departure dock for Azkaban Prison. Before the ferryman could ask what was going on, he was hit with a confundus and told, “You have received orders to take us to Azkaban prison for a surprise inspection. It is in your best interest to get us to the prison as soon as possible.”

The ferryman blinked then nodded. “Right, let’s get you over then. Don’ want the new Minister upset with me for keepin’ her Unspeakables overlong.”

The figures remained silent the entire journey over, only turning to stun the ferryman once they were on the far side. The apparent leader held up what appeared to be a snitch and whispered, “Attack pattern Potter Plow.”

The snitch took off and flew through the front doors of the prison. In a matter of seconds, shouts and the sound of spell fire filled the air. After a matter of minutes, silence once again returned to the shores quickly followed by the snitch’s reappearance. The leader collected the snitch and stroked it fondly before putting it away. “The guards are taken care of,” he replied. “We should have a good four hours before they wake.”

The second cloaked figure (and shortest of the seven if we are being honest here) rubbed his shoulder and shifted uncomfortably. “Are you sure we should be doing this? I mean, it just feels like we’re going behind Harry and Neville’s back.”

“Yes Collin,” the third cloaked figure (a young woman judging from her voice) replied. “We’ve been over this. It gives them plausible deniability and robs the Death Eaters of some of their best fighters. I know Neville doesn’t want to be on the offensive and this isn’t. Not really. It’s more like limiting the enemies resources.”

“It’s also far more merciful than they would be to us,” the fourth (a young man) replied. 

“I know,” Collin sighed then straightened and seemed to look more resolute. “Alright then, everyone ready with the Patronus. No telling if the Dementors are still here.”

“You all know the Patronus?” the first cloaked figure asked in shock. 

“Yeah,” Collin confirmed. “Well me, Terry, Rion, Katie, and Oliver. Not sure if Millicent knows.”

“Where in Merlin’s name did you all learn the Patronus?” the woman now identified as Millicent asked incredulously.

“Harry taught us,” Collin replied with a shrug. “Everyone that was in the DA could cast it...well except for Smith, Chang, MacLaggan and Edgecombe.” He looked over at the first. “You can’t?”

“I can,” the lead figure acknowledged, “but I only learned it in my last year at Durmstrang. That Harry taught you such a spell while only being a fifth year is impressive.”

“He’s known it since he was a third year,” one of the others offered up. “It turns out he’s a bit of a Dementor magnet.”

“Speaking of Dementor magnets,” Millicent called out, “we’ve got incoming.”

They all looked up and saw group of the dark creatures swarming toward them. Collin stepped forward and pointed his wand towards them shouting “Expecto Patronum!” A bright silver form exploded from his wand and hurtled through the first Dementor before circling back around and standing next to Collin growling at the others, fiercely protecting its caster.

The Dementor that was torn through looked down at the newly created hole in its chest and poked at it before collapsing into a lifeless heap on the ground. The other Dementors in turn looked at their fallen comrade, then at the group of cloaked figures, then back at their fallen brother before nodding and quickly retreating.

“Wow,” one of the male cloaked figures commented, “That must have been some happy memory.”

“Daphne Greengrass bending over in those running short Rion got her to wear,” Collin replied, a dopey smile clearly evident in his voice.

“Yeah that would do it,” another voice admitted. 

They made their way in and quickly found where the Death Eaters were being held. As they made their way to the first cell, Collin finally looked to the lead figure. “Alright Viktor, this is your show. How do you wish to handle this?”

“Like so,” Victor replied coldly. “Diffindo!” The Death Eater’s head flew off before the man could even move.

Collin started then pulled himself together. “Right. Everyone pick a barrel and start taking out the fish.”

***

Luna sat up straight in bed and scowled. “Well that moves things up significantly. Merlin buggering a badger, I can’t leave any of them alone for more than a couple minutes.” She rolled her eyes and pulled herself out of bed. Stepping into the next room so as not to disturb her husband and sister wife she called out quietly. “Dobby.”

The now five and a half foot tall elf appeared in front of her. “How may I be of service madam?”

“Plans have been sped up a bit,” she explained. “Nothing too terrible, but we’ll have to return in a couple weeks rather than the end of the month. There fore, I need you to collect Mr. Osborn and send him to Grimmauld so that he can receive Lily’s cure. Also, you might want to prepare your next care package for our esteemed head bastard. Something violent, but not too injurious to the school.”

Dobby grinned maliciously, “Of course madam. I believe I have something appropriate in mind.”

“I trust your judgement,” she replied, sporting a smile of her own. After the elf had popped away, Luna turned to return to her lovers before realizing that she was wide awake and that neither of her bed mates were what could be called morning people. “Crap, what am I going to do with myself for the next couple hours?”

***

Draco sat at the table in the private room, waiting for what had to be the most uncomfortable meeting he would ever experience. While he was certain that it wouldn’t happen, there was still the faintest chance that he would not be walking out of the room alive. The looks on Pansy and Blaise’s faces when he left did nothing to dissuade the fear pooled deep within his stomach. Trying to end a blood feud by any means other than utter annihilation of one’s enemy was difficult enough, but trying to have a name curse removed so that you could change the family name and completely eradicate your own line was practically unheard of. 

But then so was defying the Dark Lord and he had been doing that quite effectively as of late. Perhaps chance was on his side. Draco stood as he heard footsteps outside the door and placed his wand on the table before stepping away. The door opened to reveal an aristocratic man and a younger, more elfin-faced maiden. Draco quickly bowed towards the two.

“Lord Morfey,” he intoned formally, “I Draco Malfoy of the disgraced house of Malfoy offer myself up to your justice as you see fit. As I have assumed headship of the house, I assume all the guilt of my house’s crimes and await your judgement.”

The man looked Draco over momentarily before looking at his daughter. “You told me this was a way for you to marry the man of your dreams, not that I would be facing one of my disreputable cousins. Perhaps you should explain daughter.”

“I have been in contact with a seer father,” the elfin girl said with a hint of a smile. “Young Draco is going to be the means for me to become Lady Potter.”

“By me killing him?” Her father asked with a bit of surprise.

“By you forgiving him.”

“Why would I do that?”

“He is Lord Potter’s cousin by blood. Furthermore, he has parted ways with not only his father’s master but also the House of Lestrange even though he also shares blood with them. He is seeking to reform his family.”

“You are mistaken madam,” Draco interrupted. “I have no intention of reforming the Malfoy line. I intend to destroy it. All my families estates not paid to your family for the blood price to spare my mother will go to my cousin Neville of House Longbottom.”

The man looked at Draco again. “You will offer no blood price for yourself?”

Draco swallowed but answered honestly, “I figured there would not be enough to ransom us both. As she was only a Malfoy by marriage, I felt it best to give her a chance to live than keep the line alive. A line that was always destined to end with me anyway.”

“Why is that?”

“I am more inclined towards those of my own gender and my lover and I have no intention of procreation.”

“Ah.” The man continued to look at Draco shrewdly for another few minutes before shrugging and waving towards the table. “Shall we?”

Draco relaxed and waited for the man and his daughter to sit before sitting himself. “So as to your judgement?”

The man smiled. “Your mother shall be spared for the blood price of...” He turned to his daughter. “How much did Arsenau say your latest boots would run?”

The girl snorted. “One hundred and twenty Euros.”

“Right,” he turned back to Draco. “One hundred and twenty Euros. As you are a British Wizard, I recommend that you have the Goblins do the conversion. As for the judgement on your family, we will consider your debt to be paid upon the completion of a simple task.”

“What task is that my Lord?” Draco asked.

“You are to introduce your cousin, Harry James Potter, to your cousin Collette Abigail Morfey, before the last day of August. Until that happens, you are to host her at your current residence and treat her as the most honored of guests.”

Draco bit his lip. “That may prove difficult my lord as I am myself a guest at another’s house at the current time and have been attempting to get my family’s house in order to pay off outstanding debts. While by no means am I poor, my assets are still in the process of being liquidated.”

“Yet you were able to pay your mother’s blood price?”

“Before I was going to pay out in land and the price you offered after I believe I can pay from a recent inheritance. It will be at least a week before I can open one of the Manors for service and then I doubt I would be able to be as much of a host as such a lady would be accustomed.”

“You’d be surprised,” the girl said with a mischievous grin. “I only require a bedroom, three modest meals a day, and a Library. Unlike most nobles, I for one enjoy my privacy. Likewise, the introduction to Lord Potter need not be an official affair as I would wager that he and I are equally tired of formalities.”

“More like outright rejects them,” he muttered and then a strange thought occurred to him. “Lady Morfey, are you aware that Lord Potter is the head of more than one house?” 

“I am,” she replied. “I am also aware that I am to be the third of his four wives. He has likely already married twice and I will wish to marry on equal steading with them at the earliest convenience.”

“That is assuming that he wishes to marry you,” Draco warned. “Potter has been known to be somewhat stubborn.”

“I also hear that he’s a fan of oral sex,” she replied with a bit of a smile.

“Well who isn’t?” Draco snarked back.

“Draco, I’m already working with inside knowledge.”

“And Potter hates being manipulated.” Draco pinched the bridge of his nose in frustration. “Look, I know you think you have this prearranged and that he’s going to fall into bed with you, but you have to understand. Potter found out recently that he was being manipulated by a master at the game. If you know what is good for you, you’ll just be up front and honest with him. And that says nothing of Granger, Longbottom or the Weasleys. Any of them even think you are playing with his affections and you’ll have half of Britain after your arse and not in a good way.”

Collette blinked and looked at Draco. “I was not expecting you to be so...protective of Potter or myself.”

“Chalk it up to my sense of self preservation,” Draco replied. “Once they are done with you, the torches and pitchforks will be aimed my direction.”

“Yet you placed yourself at my father’s mercy not five minutes ago.”

“The lesser evil I assure you,” he explained. “I have made an enemy of Potters enemies, though in this case that does not make he and I friends. For years I fancied myself Potter’s rival, though in truth I was more likely a minor annoyance at best. That being said, I do know what makes him tick on a certain level. He’s the ultimate good guy and will do what is right over what is easy almost to the point of martyrdom. He holds his friends as family and that family is sacrosanct. At the same time, he feels betrayals just as deeply and the slightest wrong can sour him to you instantly.”

“You admire him.” The words from Lord Morfey caught Draco completely off guard.

“Admire?” Draco felt the word in his mouth for a bit, not exactly comfortable with its connotations. “I respect him most assuredly. It’s something I’ve grudgingly come to accept. But admire?” Draco shook his head. “Regardless, I will have my elves open the Dover house and make it livable. As it is the house with the largest library, I hope it will suit your desires. Once it has been made capable of receiving visitors, I will contact you and arrange for our return to Britain. That is the best I can offer at the moment.”

Collette was now openly gaping. “So you will still put me up and arrange a meeting with Lord Potter though you think I am on a fools venture?”

Draco shrugged and gave her a small smile. “I have given you my warnings and protests. I am still bound by duty to your father’s judgement. I’m honor bound to do no less.”

“You are a strange one,” Lord Morfey admitted. 

***

Percy checked himself once more in the mirror to make sure he was dressed sharply before opening the door. The wand he was faced with once the door opened wasn’t so much the surprise as the particular Weasley behind it. “Of all the members of our family that I would have wagered would be the one to seek retribution for how I’ve wronged the family, I never quite imagined it would be you.”

“Sounds like someone needs a more creative imagination,” Ginny said with a far too pleasant smile. “I believe you are going to be a bit late for work brother dear. Please take a seat.”

Percy calmly sat at the table in his room and looked at his younger sister. “I would mention that I would be missed at work, but I imagine that you’ve already arranged some conveyance to explain my absence.”

Ginny sat opposite him and nodded. “You are feeling under the weather don’t want to risk the productivity of the Ministry. I made sure to make it to sound as pompous and self serving as possible.”

Percy smiled ruefully. “You always were a better forger than the twins.”

“I’m also better capable of smelling a rat than any of you,” she countered. “Peter not withstanding. Just what is the deal with you, oh brother of mine?”

“I’m not sure what you mean,” Percy answered evasively.

“Don’t lie to me Percival,” Ginny warned. “I’m far more vicious than the little girl you keep seeing when you look at me.”

“Now that is truly a terrifying concept,” Percy said with a bit of a smile. “Very well, I am playing the long game, or at least I was. My intent at the Ministry was to play Fudge and Dumbledore off each other for as long as possible until I could topple them both and get Harry out of both of their claws and eventually put someone that both he and I trust in the Head’s position. At the same time, I would move into the Undersecretary position and begin cleaning up the corruption. Who would have thought Amelia would have beat us to the punch or that He-Who-Must-Be-Hyphenated would return. Pity. Getting Wood groomed as a political powerhouse was somewhat fun, but still quite a bit of work.”

Ginny blinked. “You were going to make Oliver Wood Minister of Magic? Are you insane?”

Percy snorted. “Of Course. I am a Weasley after all. Do you not see the elegance of the prank I’d be pulling on the whole of Britain?”

“Wait. You’re Percy. You don’t prank.”

“No,” Percy corrected, “I don’t get caught.” He pulled a large red ruby out of his pocket and tossed it to her. “If I did, how do you think I’d been able to get that and Arsehole Prick Wanker Bastard Dumbledore be none the wiser. Of course I had to get Charlie to lend me a dragon egg for the distraction. I really need to apologize to Potter and Granger for that.”

Ginny looked at the ruby with a bit of trepidation. “Is this the Philosopher Stone?” 

Percy snorted. “Well, it’s what Dumbledore thought was the Philosopher’s Stone. Boy was I embarrassed when I tried to return it to Mr. Flamel and he told me the whole story. That’s how father ‘won’ that drawing and we were able to get that trip to Egypt. Flamel wanted to congratulate me personally for pulling the wool over quote, ‘the worst waste of space I have ever had the displeasure teaching.’”

Ginny thought back and blinked. “The tea you had with that Gringott’s curse breaker?”

Percy smirked. “I’m supposed to give that ruby to Harry when I get the chance.”

“And you haven’t because?”

“Would you have given him anything when Ron was anywhere near him? I was hopeful I’d been able to give it to him when he and Ron had their split in fourth year, but the noble idiot forgave the troll right after the first bloody task. Someone has to develop a backbone in the boy.”

“Oh Harry has a backbone,” Ginny defended her lord. “It was just that Ron was his first friend, or so he thought. Now that the truth is out, I doubt Harry will give him a second glance. That is if I don’t kill the stain on the Weasley line in the mean time.”

“I would think Granger would be the one to go after the annoyance before you,” Percy commented, “Or does this have something to do with why you’re wearing an acromantula silk body suit and are kitted out with enough armament to take out the Auror corps three times over.”

Ginny cocked her head and grinned. “For that information, I would need an oath. Please be as naive as our dear brother William.”

Percy chuckled. “Perhaps I can at once be a little wiser and somewhat more foolish at the same time.” He slowly drew his wand and pointed upward. “I Percival Weasley swear on my life and magic to support my sister, Ginevra Weasley, in her mission as given by Sirius Black and protect her secrets as they pertain to said mission.”

Ginny looked at Percy suspiciously. “What makes you think that Sirius gave me a mission?”

“Who do you think he approached for your measurements?”

Ginny gaped before laughing out loud. “Bastard! What did you do?”

Percy shrugged. “Sent him a set of your bra and knickers along with your height.”

“I am so going to hurt you for that.”

“It was all for a good cause,” Percy asserted. “I figured it was either to help Harry or hurt Lord bad French. Both are worthy causes in my book.”

“Well good because it just so happens to be both, as well as bury Dumbledore.”

“Ambitious.”

“I’m Harry’s Shadow.”

“As in Lord’s Shadow?”

“One in the same.”

“Well that complicates things.”

“How so?”

“Father came by my office yesterday asking if his relationship with Minister Bones would be a problem with me.”

Ginny blinked. “Dad’s dating Minister Bones?”

Percy smirked. “I never said a thing about dating. From what some of my contacts with Neville’s group say, They’ve forgotten the silencing charms a couple of times and the Minister is quite the screamer.”

“Oh Merlin,” Ginny replied looking a little green. “Disturbing, but I fail to see how this is problematic.”

“He then approached a recent hire in the secretarial pool and asked if she would be interested in moving in with you to keep you company. Alicia Spinnet to be precise.”

Ginny perked up and grinned. “Oh, that could be fun.”

Percy raised an eyebrow. “And you called me insane.”

Ginny leaned back with cat slow smile. “Brother of mine, I know it is impolitic to tell of one’s amorous encounters but allow me to give you a tale of three girls, a bottle of wine and the wonders of transfiguration.”

“I’m about to hear one of those things that is going to scar me, aren’t I.”

“More than likely.”

***

Bellatrix arrived at Azkaban with a contingent of Death Eaters and instantly knew something was wrong. It was quiet. Too quiet. Even the Dementors seemed to be hiding, something that never occurred. She saw the tattered robe of one of the creatures laying up the trail a bit and had one of her men go up and check it, half expecting a trap. When his pale face confirmed that it was one of the monsters now dead corpse, she looked around incredulously.

“Quickly,” she hissed, “go see to the faithful while I seek out the Dementors. Something is seriously off here.”

While the others made their way inside, Bellatrix made her way to the one place that the Dementors could be communicated with: an old bell tower that was built into the central courtyard of the fortress turned prison. 

She hadn’t stepped more than a foot inside when she heard a raspy voice whisper out, “Go away.”

“I bring word from my master,” Bellatrix called out. “If you would but give me a moment-“

“You master has nothing to offer us,” the voice whispered back. “The shadow who came before has shown us mortal. We will not stand against them.”

“Shadow?” Bellatrix said to herself in confusion.

“The shadow came for your master’s followers and ended them to a man. We will not share their fate. Go away and do not return.”

Bellatrix backed out in frustration just in time for one of her men to come up and call out. “They’re all dead! Even Malfoy!”

“What?” Bellatrix ran into find that the Death Eaters were all looking in with equal looks of horror. 

“They didn’t even have a chance,” one said in shock. “They’re all dead.”

Just then they heard someone shout out, “Death Eaters in the prison!” followed by “Merlin, they’re killing the prisoners!”

Bellatrix thought about correcting them, but changed her mind quickly. “Time to go.”

“What about our mission?”

Bellatrix scowled as she activated her portkey. Her mission was a failure. The Dark Lord would not be pleased.


	9. Chapter 9

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kim and Fleur's date. Also for those that were a fan of the original Harry's Harem, the return of VoldeHarry!

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own. Infringement not intended. Please no sue.

Chapter 9

Kim was waiting on her front step wearing a pair of khaki shorts and a black t-shirt with brown sneakers and holding no small amount of anxiety. Try as she might, all Kim could think about was what if it all went wrong? In the last couple days she had already lost her father (well not really since he was still here, just not biologically related to her), lost her identity (there was a big step up from a normal human who happens to do amazing things to a squib plus, whatever that was), and lost a good chunk of her support structure (Though to be completely honest she was sort of glad the Titans and Justice League stepped in and kept her from being made into some brainwashed super soldier). The thought of losing these amazing, wonderful and (yes, she’ll admit it) damn sexy people that had come in and transformed her life was more than a little terrifying.

In the initial get together with Fleur, it had come up about her being a Veela. Kim had looked it up and initially thought she had an answer to her attraction when she read about the Allure. That had been instantly shot to hell and back by the next line which stated that the Allure didn’t work on women, not even women who preferred women. It took her reading a few more paragraphs when she had found the piece on another part of Veela nature: the yearning.

Kim had become engrossed and had stayed up until three in the morning reading about the strange connection some Veela experience with young women. And connection was the right word. In the end of the process, the two women would be according to the book “closer than lovers. Closer than the bonds of fate should allow.” She found herself feeling many of the same things that the book explained would happen to one who was experiencing the yearning and it at once thrilled and scared her a bit. 

That the Titan’s chief magic user had given her the book and impressed upon the red head that she should read as much as possible still troubled Kim. Had Cassie told them about Fleur? Had Fleur been talking to others herself? Who knew what and how much did they know?

She was pulled out of her thoughts by the last voice she wanted to hear. “Hey KP, Lookin’ sharp.”

Kim winced and looked at her long time friend. “Thanks Ron. I’m sorta waiting for someone.”

Ron Stoppable smiled. “Looking like that, I hope that someone is me.”

“Uh no,” Kim said a tad nervously. “I um...I actually have a date.”

“Oh.” Kim winced as she saw Ron’s shoulders sag. “So, who is it? Josh Mankey Or Brick?”

“Actually she’s from out of town,” Kim offered.

“She?” Ron looked inquisitive and then sighed in relief. “Oh, one of those kind of dates. I thought it was a date date. You know with dinner and candle light and romance.”

“It is,” Kim growled out with a bit of annoyance. “Fleur’s taking me somewhere casual so we can see if there is something between us. I don’t know where, but I imagine it will be quite nice since she has some taste.”

Ron blinked. “Wait, you’re going out on a date, a real date, with another girl?”

“What is so hard to believe about that?” Kim huffed.

“You can’t do that!” Ron shouted, waving his hands in a panic. “You’re Kim Possible! The idol of millions! A role model!”

“What has that got to do with anything?” Kim was now on her feet and ready to ‘Educate’ (translation: injure severely with purpose) Ronald in regard to his stupid comment. “How does who I choose to have a relationship have any bearing on me being a role model?”

“That is something I would very much like to know as well.” Kim smiled as she felt the presence of the woman she had been obsessing over for the last few days approach. 

“Who are you?” Ron asked as he saw the blonde Veela standing behind Kim, her arm wrapping protectively around the smaller woman.

“I am Ms. Possible’s date for the evening,” Fleur replied archly.

“This can’t happen!” He shouted vehemently. “I won’t allow it.”

“Allow!” Kim all but shouted. She delicately removed Fleur’s arm before marching forward and punched him in the nose. “How dare you! You self absorbed, homophobic prick! Who I date and what I do are none of your business, Ronald! I am tired of others thinking they decide what is best for me! I am tired of making others happy and making myself miserable! Most of all, I am tired of living half a life to make you feel better about yourself! I am going on this date! Then next week, I am going to take an equivalency exam and graduate high school a year early! After that, I have no earthly idea what I’m going to do but I can assure you that you will have absolutely no part in it! I have been your best friend since Pre-K and I have stuck up for you even when you have made some of the most idiotically stupid moves, but for you to stand there and say that you won’t allow me to do something! Where the hell to you get off!”

Ron stood there in shock, holding his nose. “KP, I just-“

Kim spun on her heel and walked up to Fleur. “I believe we have a date to go on.” She slipped her hand up behind Fleur’s head and pulled her into a deep and hungry kiss. A kiss that was quickly returned after Fleur got over her initial shock. As the pulled away reluctantly, Kim whispered softly to Fleur, “I believe my earlier restriction can be removed. Take me wherever you wish.”

***

Ginny sighed happily as she honed her blades in front of the captured Death Eater initiate. “I’d like to thank you for coming to see me, Mr. Flint. I was getting a tad bored with just trying to determine how to kill your associates. Well soon to be associates that is if your lack of a mark is any indication. So let me start off by saying that I would wager that you were to earn your bones by kidnapping, raping and murdering a little blood traitor that your recruiter learned was at home all by her lonesome. Afterward you’d probably have some other entertaining form of disposing of the body.” She gave the former Slytherin a too sweet smile. “I know I am going to be exploring those avenues later when I have to get rid of yours.”

The bound and gagged young man tried to struggle against the ropes only to find them getting tighter.

“I wouldn’t do that if I were you,” Ginny replied cheerfully. “That rope is made from Devil’s Snare and enchanted to constrict upon movement. I’d hate for you to die before I’m done extracting every piece of intelligence from you.” She picked up a pair of pliers and walked over to him casually. “Now here is how this works-“ A chiming sound made her look up at a clock showing the location of her brothers and father. “Bugger,” she groused as she saw her father’s arrow pointed at “Burrow”. She walked back over to the table and set the pliers back down before picking up one of the spare wands and stunning her prisoner. “Don’t go anywhere,” she muttered. “I’ll be back in a trice for our conversation.”

After quickly changing and locking up the Rookery, Ginny made her way down to the house just in time to hear her father call out for her. She entered in through the kitchen calling out, “I’m in the kitchen Dad. I was out taking care of Luna’s garden for her.”

Arthur walked in with a relieved smile and an equally relieved Minister Bones in tow. “Oh thank Merlin, I thought something terrible happened to you.”

Ginny got a glass of water and sat down. “I spend a lot of time over there since I’m the only person in country that’s keyed to the wards over there. I figured it was safer than the off chance that someone can find a weakness here.”

Arthur grew concerned. “There’s a weakness in the wards here?”

Ginny shrugged. “Most likely just the ones Dumbledore put in so he could get at us if we ever turned on him. I suggested the possibility to Bill and he’s been showing me how to look for them when he’s not at work. We’ve found a couple dozen. That’s not including the poorly drawn loyalty ward that Bill thinks was put in by Molly. Bill left one weakness intentionally in the apple grove as a trap. If you go in there, you’re stunned and trussed up like a Christmas ham. So far it’s only caught a black sheep. I put it over Luna’s. If you hear about anyone looking for it, we can deal with it then.”

Arthur nodded thoughtfully as he sat down. “Anyway it makes what I was going to suggest to you even more important. I’ve been worried about you being out here by yourself for so long during the day.”

“I’m fine Dad,”Ginny insisted. “Even my mind healer says that I need the time alone to process the changes in me.”

“I understand that,” Arthur replied. “Still, I doubt he meant complete Isolation. Therefore, I took the liberty of contacting a former schoolmate of yours and asked her if she would consider moving in as a live in companion for the summer.”

“Her?” Ginny inquired curiously.

“Miss Alicia Spinnet.” Arthur stood and prepared himself for an argument. “Now I understand you want your privacy but-“

“I’m good with it,” Ginny cut him off quickly. “Perhaps she can help me prepare for my OWL year.”

Arthur blinked. “Really?”

Ginny nodded. “Alicia’s great and a lot more entertaining than some others I could mention.” She then glanced between Amelia and Arthur. “Was that it or were you going to tell me something else?”

Arthur and Amelia blinked and looked at each other before blushing furiously. “Uh no that was all,” her father responded rather quickly.

Ginny cocked her head. “Really? Too bad. You deserve to be happy daddy.” She then looked at Amelia and gave her a small smile. “Though if the clock is any indication you’ve been rather happy for a while now.” At Amelia’s confused glance, Ginny pointed toward the grandfather clock. 

Amelia looked and blushed even redder as she saw that a space reading ‘Amelia’s Bedroom’ had appeared on the clock. “I...see...”

Arthur turned and blinked himself before blushing. “Right. Well, Alicia said she would be by this afternoon after she finished packing. Amelia and I need to get back to the Ministry.”

Ginny held her laughter until after both of them were through the floo. She went back to the clock and added two hands with her spare wand: one for ‘Amelia Bones’ and the other for ‘Alicia Spinnet’. She then picked up some floo powder and went back to the Rookery. Pulling back on her smock and reviving her guest, she picked up the pair of pliers again and looked at him. “I apologize if I’m a little rushed. You see I’ve got a date with a pretty witch this afternoon and really want time to look my best.”

She pulled the gag out of his mouth and activated the dictation quill. “Here is how this works. I torture you until you talk and then I continue torturing you until you run out of things to say. Understand?” 

***

Voldemort sat on his throne, stunned by what his agents had to report. Apparently the Shadow of Aucoin had dispatched all of his faithful in Azkaban and somehow had managed to have the entire fiasco blamed on him. On top of that, the Rein Club had been leveled with several important contacts inside. The Dark Lord was rapidly running out of contacts and would soon be running out of resources if he didn’t find some new backers. Well, at least Malfoy was dead. Now all he had to do was wait for Parkinson to return with the arse’s spawn so that he could quit hiding out in Riddle Manor. 

He sat back and tried to relax, letting his eyes close and drift off into what passed for sleep in the Dark Lord’s mind. Little did he realize that this was a rather inauspicious time to do this.

***

Harry was practicing the meditation that Luna has been showing him and had gotten to the point where he could see the tendrils of magic in his mind. One particularly red line caught his attention and he was just about to touch it when he heard Luna shout, “Wait, not yet!”

He was about to come out and ask her what was wrong when he brushed against the beam. He found himself in a room decked out in an Edwardian style with objects obviously leaning toward Wizarding tastes. He looked up at a painting above a fireplace and saw an image that shocked him. There looking down was the spitting image of Tom Riddle with two people that looked to be his parents. 

Before he could process what he was seeing, the door opened and a Death Eater walked in and knelt before him. “My Lord, we have received word that Parkinson has died.”

Harry blinked and asked. “Which one?”

“The one you sent after the Malfoy scion, my lord.”

Harry snorted. “Sucks to be him.” Harry then looked at his hands and was coming to a faint realization. Holy shite, he thought. I’m in Tom’s body. How in Merlin’s name did this happen? Better yet, how can I turn this to my advantage?

Harry tapped his lip in thought before turning back to the Death Eater. “Where are my Inner Circle currently?”

“Bellatrix is currently waiting for her punishment in her room as you commanded. Amycus is at the Ministry gaining intelligence while his sister is working on the potions you requested. Nott, Avery and Travers are out searching for information on who destroyed the Rein Club while Bulstrode and Edgecombe are trying to find more information on the Shadow of Aucoin.”

Harry nodded thoughtfully and while he was certain that no one would bat an eye if he were to kill Bellatrix outright, he really felt Neville deserved that opportunity. However that didn’t mean he couldn’t have some fun in the process. “Fetch Bellatrix,” he intoned. “I will also required a cricket bat, a ball gag and a set of shackles.”

“Shackles my lord?”

Harry cocked his head. “Are you questioning me?

“No my lord!” It wasn’t long before he was brought the requested articles as well as a terrified Bellatrix. He could tell what the witch was fearing and wasn’t quite ready to ease her fears.

He looked at the groveling Death Eater still in the room. “Attach the shackles to the Mantle and leave us.” After the minion had done as commanded he then looked at Bellatrix. “Close and lock the door with the strongest locking charm you can cast.”

Bellatrix was now openly bawling. Apparently, Voldemort had done something similar before and it had her terrified. Which of course had Harry alternating between wanting the sick fuck dead and glad that it was Bellatrix suffering instead of some poor sap that was just unlucky enough to be caught by a goon squad. Still, she did as commanded and turned to face him. “Should I undress my lord?” She asked meakly.

Harry blinked. “Uh...Huh?” 

Obviously mistaking his words, the woman before him began to disrobe. Harry was about to stop her when he realized that either she had been taking some serious potions since escaping Azkaban or she hadn’t had nearly as rough a time as Sirius had. Bellatrix may be one crazy bitch but she certainly had a killer bod. A body that was now on full display in front of him without a stitch on. 

I am so going to hell for this, Harry thought. Or at least put through Hell when I confess this to Luna and Fleur. He straightened and nodded to the woman. “Now, I want you to shackle me facing the mantle,” he commanded, valliantly keeping his voice from cracking as he stood facing the Mantle with his arms outstretched.

“My lord?” Bellatrix whimpered.

“Did I stutter? What is it with people questioning me all of a sudden?”

The mad witch quickly complied desperate to keep her lord from being any angrier with her. Once she was done, Harry tested the chains and found them to be quite strong. He gave her an approving smile before speaking again. “I will give you then next two orders together since the first one will be to place the gag in my mouth and pull it as tight as you can manage. Once that is done, I want you to pick up the cricket bat and start hitting me as hard as you feel I should be beating you for your failure. Note that if I find you have not beaten me hard enough, you will find how hard I believe you should be beaten.”

“But my Lord...” he could definitely hear the remorse and doubt in her voice.

Harry made his voice as gentle as he could speaking with Voldemorts vocal chords. “My dear Bella, don’t you realize how much it hurts me when I have to punish you? I hope with this, you will see how much pain you are causing me. So don’t hold back my dear child. I want you to do your worst, for if you do not rest assured that I will do mine.”

“Yes my lord.” 

Harry saw more than felt the gag being brought in front of his face and being secured in his mouth. Just as he heard the bat being picked up, he felt himself being dragged away as if by some outside force. He opened his eyes to find himself in the Summer’s family guest room with Luna straddling him.

“You dummy,” she growled. “It was too soon for you to enter his mind. What if he saw you?”

“Wait,” Harry replied, “So that wasn’t my mind making that up?”

Luna pulled back. “Making what up?” 

“I think I took over Tom’s body and may have ordered Bellatrix to beat him with a cricket bat.”

Luna blinked slowly several times before replying. “I believe this requires a pensieve viewing.

***

Tom’s world became pain as he felt blow after agonizing blow rain down on him from some unknown assailant. That this assailant had somehow shackled and gagged him without his guards notice was astounding. Even more unnerving was that whoever was giving him the worst beating of his life was crying like she was being forced to do it. Tom had to find out what kind of spell would do this so that he could use it on his victims. That was of course if he survived this. 

It wasn’t long before the broken ribs, shattered pelvis, broken legs, arms and slightly fractured skull were having their own effect on Tom, making him sob somewhat as well. Thankfully whoever had been wailing on him took one last smack across his backside before breaking down in a fit of inconsolable tears crying out, “Please my lord no more. I can’t take it anymore.”

Tom would have normally tried to ascertain who had beaten him so badly, but at this moment was trying not to swallow his tongue as he passed out from shock. Luckily the gag in his mouth was helping with that.

***

Neville sat on the hotel bed looking down at the file that the Goblins had given him scowling. “Three fucking families not counting Bones.”

Fay slipped out of her clothes and crawled into the bed behind Neville, wrapping her arms around him. “On the bright side, we can finally fund the Sleeping Dragons or will be able to once we’re married.”

“Where am I going to find another woman to marry that will put up with our conditions?” Neville growled.

“Nev,” Fay sighed as she laid her head on his shoulder. “Can we focus on the good today instead of all the bad? I mean for once the Minister and the Ambassador had to reschedule meetings and it was kinda cute watching Hermione’s back and forth with that Tonks woman.”

Neville snorted but still nodded. “You’re right. I’m just...”

“It’s the first time you’re going to visit your parents and your dad is not going to be there.”

Neville swallowed thickly. “Yeah. I’m one step closer to being like Harry.”

Fay nuzzled into his neck and tried to comfort her lover. “We don’t have to go if you don’t want.”

Neville turned and kissed Fay tenderly. “I need to go see my mum. Something inside tells me it’s important.”

“Alright,” Fay whispered. “Do you want me to help you relax first?”

“Well that is what we got the room for after all.”

***

Tonks found herself equally amused and aroused as Hermione has changed into what was her now standard around the house clothing (in other words not a single stitch of fabric on her body) and was writing down a rather complicated Arithmantic formula while she was bent over at the waist over her desk. That she had asked Tonks to bring them both some finger food and join her in there for the afternoon would on the surface seem odd, but was immediately cleared up when a low pallet had been made in front of the fireplace accompanied by an assortment of lotions and more than one sex toy.

“I’ve got the sandwiches,” Tonks announced, dragging her witch out of the trance-like state she had begun entering into every time she got an idea as of late. “Where do you want me to put them?”

Hermione looked up with the same dazed expression and piled her work together making room for them on the table. “Sorry, something else popped into my mind.”

Tonks smiled. “What was it this time? A new time turner that can go back years instead of hours?”

Hermione blushed. “Actually, it’s a computation for an empowering ritual that two women could use to strengthen their cores. The only downside if you could really call it that is that the ritual is a sex ritual and effectively bonds the two witches together.”

Tonks grinned. “Which is technically illegal in this country.”

Hermione blinked at that. “Technically?”

Tonks grinned. “Well there is no way to prove that the two witches were bonded outside of killing one and watching for the other to go insane and kill everyone around them and if there wasn’t an officiant to tell you it happened, then who’s to know?”

Hermione nodded thoughtfully. “Care to look over my notes and give it a try later?”

“I don’t know,” Tonks hedged. “Are you sure it’s safe outside the obvious?”

“Safe enough to do regularly,” Hermione confirmed. “And from what I can tell, once you’re bonded that’s it. There are no deeper levels of bonds.”

“But there are multiple bonds,” Tonks countered. “What would happen if the person became bonded to more than one person?”

“From what I’ve seen it stabilizes the bond,” Hermione answered. “At least arithmantically. Keeping multiple relationships straight would be a pain though.” It was then that Hermione cocked her head at Tonks. “You’re still clothed.”

Tonks smirked. “Is that a problem?”

Hermione nodded. “I need you and you’re not nude yet.”

Tonks became momentarily concerned. “You need me?”

“Uh huh.”

“Nude.”

“Yes,” Hermione replied with an agitated huff. “How can I ravish you if you’re dressed up like you have somewhere to go?”

Tonks was starting to think that this was something other than ‘shiny new lover syndrom’. “Hermione dear, are you certain you aren’t becoming a little obsessed with sex?”

Hermione started to look a little needy. “But when you get me off, I get smarter.”

Tonks blinked. “Wait what?”

Hermione groaned and sat down in a nearby chair. “Not permanently, but I all of a sudden start seeing these connections that are so obvious after I’ve had a good orgasm blowing away all the clutter in front of it. That’s what has been allowing me to come up with all of this. Just think, we could be one really good shag away from curing cancer or solving the next energy crisis.”

Tonks was gaping. “You want me to fuck you for the future of the wizarding world.”

“Exactly,” Hermione cheered. “Just think of the possibilities.”

Tonks grabbed a seat and sat down hard. “So what you’re telling me is that you’re a bleeding Archive with sex as a trigger.”

Hermione looked at her curiously. “What’s an Archive?”

Tonks shook her head and groaned. “They’re sort of an open secret amongst the old families. Of course mum told me about them when I was little to show me how special I was. You see, there are five types of magical beings that are so rare that even a muggleborn having these talents is held in high regard: Metamorphs, Druids, Warlocks, Seers and Archives. They each relate to one of the classic elements and have their own advantages and disadvantages.

“I am a Metamorph obviously which you could say identifies with water. My form is fluid and if I practice, I can assume any shape I desire. The drawback is that I have a weakness towards combat magics and my shields aren’t worth shite.”

“Then why’d you become an Auror?” Hermione asked.

Tonks smiled ruefully. “It was the only job available in the ministry at the time and when it really comes down to it I like helping people. Now, the second group is the Druids. In spite of how it sounds, this has nothing to do with the old Celtic religions. Druids are the War Wizards and have an affinity towards the element of Earth. Combat magics come naturally to them and they are usually just a ball of fury and power when they go into battle.”

“Like Harry,” Hermione said in awe.

“Actually more like your friend Longbottom,” Tonks corrected. “Harry is what is called a Warlock. He is able to shape magic into what he needs and fling it out. Their Element is fire and when they get started the world around them tends to blow up real good. The whole sleeping dragon quote at Hogwarts was a warning about the resident Druid and Warlock at the founding: Namely Godric Gryffindor and Salazar Slytherin. Add to that the fact of Rowena Ravenclaw being a seer and you had a killer combination just with the three of them.”

“And I guess Helga was a Metamorph,” Hermione sighed.

“No, Helga was an Archive like you. Archives are the holders of Knowledge directly gifted by magic. The trick is that you have to find the appropriate key to unlock it. For Helga, it was being close to the Earth which was why her quarters and later the Hufflepuff Dorms were in the ground. Yours seems to be sex...or maybe it’s just sex with me. We’d have to experiment if we wanted to be sure.”

Hermione blinked then became thoughtful. “You didn’t mention Seers.”

Tonks shrugged. “Well, even though they’re rare, they are also pretty straight forward. See paths toward the future, aligned with air. Tend to be kinda flighty and spacey.”

“Like Luna,” Hermione commented.

Tonks sat up straight. “Wait, are you trying to tell me that you have a Druid, a Warlock, a Seer, and an Archive in that group that broke into the Department of Mysteries?”  
“And the seventh child and only girl in a family notorious for only having boys,” Hermione added.

Tonks paled. “Hermione, Arthur was himself the seventh child. That’s why he only got the Burrow from his inheritance.”

“Oh.” Hermione blinked. “I take it that’s important.”

Tonks looked at her. “You’re taking Arithmancy. Think on the importance of the number seven then square it.”

Tonks watched as Hermione went into a bit of a daze trying to do the computations in her head. Suddenly her young lover gasped. “That’s...That’s a whole lot of power.”

“Uh huh. Now combine it with the four of you with her. None of you were exactly weaklings.”

Hermione shook her head. “But the Death Eaters had better training.”

“That’s what leveled the playing field I’ll bet,” Tonks explained. “Think of it this way. You have an AK-47 but no training. Your opponent is a sniper with a single action rifle. If the sniper has time to set up and wait for you to come to them, who has the advantage?”

“The sniper until he fires the first shot.”

“Exactly.”

Hermione got up and went over to her lover, curling up in the other woman’s lap. “So no more sex until we know for sure what’s going on with me.”

“Well let’s just say we limit it to a couple times a day,” Tonks responded. “And we need to get in touch with your friends so they know what is going on with them.”  
Hermione nodded absently. “Okay...can it wait until tomorrow?”

Tonks shrugged. “I guess, but why?”

Hermione sighed and nuzzled into Tonks neck. “Because I really need to be with you right now and I don’t want to be thinking about my friends when we’re snuggling.”

“What did we just say about cutting back on sex?”

Hermione shrugged. “Snuggling isn’t sex. It just often leads to sex.”

“Nice try.”

“Dammit.”

***

“How do Potter and Longbottom have a sister in common?” Severus asked Remus as they were waiting inside Minister Bones’ private conference room. Luckily the afore mentioned minister had been away for a meeting when they had arrived and the secretary had decided that discretion was the better form of valor by letting the two men wait for her boss there.

“It’s a long story,” Remus stated, “but it involves Lily, Alice and illegal spell research.”

Severus pinched the bridge of his nose. “Please tell me Lily didn’t get the Futanari hex to work.”

“Nothing so bizarre I’m afraid.” The werewolf made himself comfortable. “It started with Lily’s crusade for House Elf independence. She was looking for a way for elves to be linked to a magical artifact that would allow them to technically free but still able to draw magic from a source and survive. Alice, always intrigued by complex problems, agreed to help her even though such research has been banned by British Magical Law since the Humonculus uprising of twelve sixty-six.”

Severus snorted and took a seat opposite Remus. “Of course Lily never let a silly thing like the law stop her from doing what she knew was right.”

“The same with Alice and her curiosity,” Remus countered. “How she didn’t get sorted into Ravenclaw I’ll never know. Anyway, They decided to focus their research on the Golem creation rituals. Their theory was that if they simply tweaked the parameters that it would work as a statue that would absorb ambiant magic and pass it on to those who were linked to it, namely the House Elves.”

“So what happened?”

“They tweaked the wrong thing and the little bugger came to life. Also, due to Lily guessing that People would be unwilling to try to break the blasted thing if it looked attractive, she copied some of the best features of all her personal heroes onto the statue.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“The girl looks like a supermodel and has the emotional maturity of a twelve year old with no sense of propriety. When I first met her, she was walking around naked and wondering why she couldn’t sleep with James.”

“So Potter knew about her?”

“No. Rose had gotten loose one night and Lily had found her curled up in bed next to him. After that, she was confined to the basement until we could set up a proper lab somewhere else. Lily and Alice started treating her more like a daughter than an experiment after that and well someone had to put their foot down.”

Severus opened and closed his mouth several times before responding. “Let me get this straight. Lily Potter and Alice Longbottom illegally created a golem shaped like a supermodel with the emotional maturity of a twelve year old girl and then started playing house with her.”

“Pretty much until they had to go into hiding. Then we put everything under an elaborate series of Fidelises so that she would be safe. Of course that was after we put her in stasis and locked the lab up tight as a drum.”

“So why are we here then?” Snape asked in irritation. “And why were you allowed to be in on the secret?”

“Well second first, I was allowed in because they needed someone who could physically stop her at one point and unlike Hagrid I can keep a secret. As for why we are here, we need Harry and Neville together to unlock the lab as the wards are tied to Lily and Alice’s blood and we need to get to her before she wakes up.”

“Oh?”

Remus nodded solemnly. “Rose is easily as brilliant as Lily and Alice and gets bored far too easily.” He got a vacant look in his eyes. “Once she told me how to take over the world with a rubber band and a piece of aluminum foil. I’m telling you now, Merlin as my witness, I am fully convinced that she not only could do it but would and present it to her brothers like a cat with a dead mouse to show her affection for them.”

Severus started. “She knows about Potter and Longbottom?”

Remus nodded absently. “She used to play with them before they had to go into hiding.”

“And how do you think she’s going to react to them being as old as her now?” Severus hissed.

“Probably happy and thinking of all the new games she can play with them,” Remus said vacantly. “I’m just hoping they move her more towards chess and checkers and not Doctor like she was hoping to play.”

***

Collin was staring out across the fields at Longbottom Manor. Inside he was torn about what they had done. On one hand, Viktor was right and it was depriving You-Know-Who followers, but on the other... He had executed thirty men. He should be feeling something at this time, not just the emptiness and uncertainty he was feeling. He was so lost in thought that he didn’t hear the person come up until they were almost on top of him.

“Millie said I should come see you,” Daphne Greengrass stated. “She said that I could probably cheer you up.”

Collin gave her a faint smile then returned to looking out over the fields. After a few minutes he asked, “Can a good person do a bad thing and still be called a good person?”

“Oh Merlin,” Daphne groaned. “Millie told you about that? In my defense we had broken into the liquor cabinet more out of curiosity than anything and we were drunk when she asked me to use that broom handle on her.”

Collin turned and looked at her incredulously. “What?”

“Uh, we’re not talking about me popping Millie’s cherry are we?”

“No.” Collin paused twice before he was able to come up with a response. “Viktor, Millie and I took a group up to Azkaban and killed all the Death Eaters.”

“Good,” Daphne responded.

“Good?”

“Yeah.” Daphne moved closer and looked out over the field. “Most of them should have been executed during the first war but Albus ‘I need to create an even bigger cock up’ Dumbledore insisted on leniency. Never mind that a life sentence does nothing but eat up resources and at Azkaban make them even more insane. You probably did them a favor by ending their lives.”

“It still feels wrong,” Collin replied.

“That’s good too,” Daphne explained. “Killing shouldn’t ever feel good. Is it necessary at times? Yes, but you should never enjoy it.”

“That’s...rather profound.” He cocked his head to get a better look at Daphne. “You’re not usually this chatty at school.”

Daphne snorted. “I’m usually hopped up on something at school. That whole Ice Princess routine is so that no one realizes that I’m wanting to lick the walls.”

“You’re on drugs at school?”

Daphne shrugged. “Why not? I could pass my NEWTS third year and masturbation only cures boredom for so long.”

“But then why are you at Hogwarts?”

“Mother wants me to find a man and settle down. With half of my year in Slytherin being gay and the rest of the school hating us because of the idiots following Lord Buzzkill, there’s a fat lot that’s going to happen. So I’m toasting and coasting my way through my last few years.”

“Wow,” Collin looked out over the field. “You know, there are people that would like to get to know you better at Hogwarts, but the Ice Princess act scares them off.”  
Daphne giggled. “I think the real me might scare them off faster for different reasons.”

“How so?”

“What are your views on oral sex?”

“Greatly appreciated and am willing to reciprocate,” Collin shot back.

Daphne blinked. “Not what I was expecting.”

Collin shrugged and grinned. “My dad might be a milk man, but before he had to get a job he and mom were free love hippies. Arwen and I practically grew up together and saw more adult human anatomy growing up than children should be exposed to. My views on sex may be a little skewed.”

Daphne grinned. “What would you say to me giving you a blow out here?”

“Depends,” Collin said with a grin of his own. “How would you feel about me returning the favor tonight in your bed?”

***

Dobby cackled as he prepared the two crates for shipment to Britain. The one labeled for Number 12 Grimauld place called out, “Is there food in here?”

“I made sure that you had a rather large supply of all major food groups sir,” Dobby replied as he wrote on the other *Albus Dumbledore, Care of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.*

“Pizzas, sodas, snacks, beefsticks...Thanks. You’ll tell Willow where I’m going right?”

Dobby rolled his eyes. “Yes sir. I think she’ll be happy to know that you’re finally going to be able to have a normal relationship.” He sighed as he paid the Hippogriffs to take their separate packages. “So long as you can accept her bisexuality,” he muttered to himself.

“What was that?” the box called out.

“Nothing of import,” Dobby answered back. “Enjoy your flight.”

***

Fleur laid next to Kim on the picnic blanket, carding her hand through the young woman’s hair. She was shocked at the rapid change in her over the last few days and wondered what exactly had happened to cause such a dramatic shift. She was slightly amused and very much aroused at the behavior the young woman had displayed when they had appeared at their picnic spot. Of course a woman removing her bra and then asking for one to hold her would have anyone who appreciated the fairer sex to be more than a little anticipatory of the evening. Still, the whole series of events had thrown her a little off kilter.

Kim turned to face Fleur and kissed her on the lips. “Cassie’s friend Raven leant me a book on Veela,” she admitted. “It cleared a few things up.”

Fleur blinked as Kim started unbuttoning the Veela’s blouse. “What kind of things?”

Kim sighed as she began kissing along Fleur’s neck. “Why I can’t stop thinking of you but am not jealous of Harry or Luna. Why I keep dreaming of you taking care of me, in and out of the bedroom. Why I want to do things to you and make you happy in every way I can.”

Fleur blinked. “The yearning,” she whispered, “But that doesn’t happen with Muggles.”

“I’m not a Muggle,” Kim whispered as she began kissing down Fleur’s chest. “My father was Sirius Black.”

Fleur briefly put the girl at arms reach. “You mean to tell me that you’re a half-blood?”

Kim pouted but answered. “According to the Healer mom took me to when I was too little to remember, I’m what they called a Squib plus. Most of my abilities seem to be magically augmented. Now can I get back to working my way down your body?”

Fleur gaped. “A Squib we can trust,” she muttered. “Luna, you little minx.”

“Can we get back to me having my way with you?” Kim pleaded. “Some of us haven’t had an orgasm in the past couple days.”

Fleur leaned forward and captured Kim’s lips with hers. “Kimberly, I promise that I will have you screaming my name for the next couple days in the next few hours if I am right about what I just figured out.”

“No,” Kim scolded. “We are on a date and there will be no running off from this date until I have been allowed to get off at least once, please and thank you.” 

“We are in a somewhat public place,” Fleur hedged.

“Which I know that you set up privacy charms around so we could be alone,” Kim countered as she lifted off her top. “Now the longer you take, the longer it is going to be until we go look at whatever you think is more important than sweaty naked fun time.”

Fleur opened and closed her mouth a couple times before responding. “Well, when you put it that way...”

Kim unbuttoned and shoved down her shorts revealing her bare bottom. “Still with the talking,” she huffed. “Am I the only one going to be naked in a second?”

***

Ginny had just finished lighting the candelabra and setting the table when the knock at the door alerted her to her company. She sauntered over and made sure it was her expected quarry and opened the door with a winning smile. “Hello Alicia. Pleasant evening isn’t it?”

Alicia Spinnet smiled nervously as she looked at the young woman before her wearing a quidditch jersey and apparently nothing else. “Uh yeah. Your dad said you’d be expecting me.”

Ginny turned and sauntered back into the house. “You could say that,” she replied. “A more accurate term would be anticipating. Care for some dinner?”

Alicia swallowed nervously and stepped in. “Ginny,” she replied hoarsely, “to be honest I’m not sure what happened a couple nights ago and-“

“You transfigured a bottle into a phallus and shagged me rotten while Angelina laid passed out in the corner,” Ginny replied automatically. “That was after you let me suckle your nipple while the two of us ground one off on each others thighs.” she sat on the table with her legs partly splayed. “Should I go on about how you thought the snake tattoo around my body was incredibly sexy and traced it with your tongue or how you practically begged me to get between your legs and-“

“Okay!” Alicia shouted, interrupting Ginny. “I get the picture. This isn’t my first Weasley shake down. What do you want?”

“In a word?” Ginny asked. “You.”

“What?”

Ginny sighed and spread her legs a little farther apart. “I’m lonely Alicia, and not particularly concerned about the gender of my companion. I want someone to be my confidant and playmate. Someone that can ease the tensions that I feel when it comes to my family or my lot in life. I want someone who can have a good time but is still willing to swear a magically binding agreement to stick with me through thick and thin and not judge me when I get a little south of moral.”

“And if I refuse?”

Ginny shrugged and her grin turned a little devious. “Then I tell Daddy and his new girlfriend about you and Angelina having your naughty way with me.”

“You wouldn’t,” Alicia shot back. “You’re too honorable and it was your idea.”

“Is that your final answer?” Ginny asked. “I can guarantee that the good in this out weighs any bad.”

“How so?”

“When I said south of moral, I was including the possibility of multiple partners of either gender and a willingness to go wherever your depraved little mind can think. Also, I know how to sneak you into the castle in such a way that no one would know you were there.”

Alicia sighed. “What do I have to do?”

Ginny handed her a piece of parchment. “Just swear this oath and we’ll go from there.”

Alicia read over the words a couple times, casting a glare at an unrepentant Ginny more than once before pulling out her wand and lifting it into the air. “I swear on my magic to be a loving companion and confidant to Ginevra Weasley from this day forward, keeping her secrets and complying to her desires as she so requests. I swear to be a willing and accepting lover, even when that means allowing another in our bed. I swear to teach her from my limited knowledge as well as explore other avenues that she may interested in. Finally, I swear to assist Ginevra Weasley in any way that she may need me, Magical or Mundane. This upon my magic I so swear.”

The bright flash of magic brought back the winning smile to Ginny’s face. “Great. Now we can have a nice dinner I prepared for us and then we’ll see where the evening takes us. You’re a vegetarian right?”

“Pescatarian,” Alicia corrected. “I eat fish, just not anything with claws or hooves.”

“Good to know,” Ginny responded as she played with the hem of the Jersey she was wearing. “So I guess the next question is whether you want to start with the meal or dessert?”  
Alicia groaned. “I know I’m going to regret this, but what’s for dessert?”

Ginny grinned and lifted off the Jersey.

“I am so going to Hell,” Alicia muttered as she watched the little Witch in front of her undress. 

***

While Ginny and Alicia were enjoying their dinner, another person was adding to the legend of the Shadow of Aucoin. Long had he waited to get his revenge and as his days were fading he plotted to end the one that had tortured and killed his dearly beloved wife. He had agonized over how to kill the man, no monster, that had taken his dear sweet Perenelle away from him. 

It always fell back to the lack of access to the man’s cell. He could use a key that had been accidentally left to him by the one man that was allowed to see Grindelwald, a small bit of the old man’s hair. Unfortunately, it would undoubtably come back to him as no one else could have obtained it. Then a short time ago, something marvelous had happened.  
Whispers had surfaced of his return. The Shadow of Aucoin. The Wizarding Hero of France had once again resurfaced. Of course he knew that there had to be more than one Shadow, how else could he have made so many successful kills over such a short period of time. It was also likely that this was a new Shadow for a new age. Still he wagered, there was a fair chance that he wouldn’t complain about taking out a vile piece of filth his father or grandfather had warred against. And doing it in the Shadow’s name would protect him, because who knew how the Shadow got to his targets?

He walked in to the prison wearing the skin of his most disappointing student and sat across from the man he had lived so long despising. Gone were the haughty sneer and Aryan perfect features, replaced by the haunted look that so many of his prisoners had. The look Perenelle had before she finally expired in his arms.

“What do you want Albus?” the bastard croaked.

Nicholas sneered and brandished the wand he had bought from a black market crafter shouting “AVADA KEDAVARA!” The shocked leader of the Nazi War Wizards didn’t have time to react, let alone the wand to do it with. His startled stare would be forever etched on his face.

Nicholas calmly dropped the wand in the room and brandished the portkey that would take him from Nuremgard and deposit him somewhere in the North Sea. Soon he would be with his beloved Perenelle. Soon he would be home. 

***

Albus stared balefully at the now destroyed bookshelf that once held all his magnificent devices. Contrary to popular opinion (and our regretfully un-departed head bastard’s belief), they actually did nothing but spin, toot, and point in random directions based upon a variety of incidental factors that had nothing to do with a certain boy who just can’t seem to take a hint from the forces of darkness and shuffle off the mortal coil. Said devices were unfortunately destroyed by first being gnawed on by nifflers who found them quite tasty then by being buried by a rather industrious Fang. 

Albus had also been sent a notice that Filius had appointed a Defense professor and that as part of the contractual agreement, a team of curse breakers was being brought in over the next couple weeks to remove whatever curses, jinxes or other maladies may have befallen the position. Filius had also managed to finagle a sweep of the entire school while they were at it and had done it for less than Dumbledore had promised to pay any professor previously. The fact that Dumbledore had actually pocketed those funds (for the greater good of course) was left unsaid.

The final thing that Albus was feeling both anticipation and dread over was the notice that the meeting with the Board of Governors would be held on the 5th of August. It would be too late to undo any of the current changes, but perhaps he could get them to see reason by Christmas hols. That was so long as it wasn’t any of Tom’s supporters. They always seemed to gleefully reject what he suggested, even when it shorted their own children. Lucius in particular had been a complete disappointment. One thought Slytherins were supposed to be cunning.

Albus shot a sad glance at the paper that showed how far Tom had fallen. The aging headmaster never envisioned a time when that poor wretched boy would stoop so far as to actually kill his own followers. Had he truly fallen so deep into madness that he saw everyone as an enemy? Was he so far gone that he couldn’t be redeemed and help Albus usher in a new golden age for the wizarding world? Was it really too late for his and Gellert’s vision of the future? No, there must still be time. The prophecy had given the possibility. If Tom killed Harry, then...then...

A knock at the door startled Albus and he quickly called for the person on the other side to enter. Argus Filch stepped in and scraped a bow before saying, “A package was delivered for you at the front door Headmaster. It be too big to be brought up.”

Albus sighed. A headmaster’s work was never done. He graciously got up and followed the man downstairs wearing his everyday lavender robes with matching hat and house slippers. When he got to the front door, he was shocked to see that it was nearly as tall as he and had a crowbar attached along with a note. Albus looked at the note curiously and blinked before removing the attached crowbar.

Dear Headbastard,  
You might want to keep hold of the crowbar when the crate is opened. Round two, Fight!  
Dobby Potter

Albus looked at the crate apprehensively and was wondering if he should open it when the crate started opening by itself. As the side swung open, a massive ten foot tall violet furred humanoid creature with a single eye and a long curving horn as well as two bat like wings squeezed out. A part of Albus’ mind registered the name tag on it’s left breast that said, “Hi, I’m a Snorkack.” But the rest was currently trying not to befoul his clothes.

The Snorkack looked Albus up and down before shrugging and pulling out a butcher knife and Fork. “Meh, close enough.”

Filch stared in wonder as the Headmaster ran screaming from the large creature that kept yelling, “Hey you’re only making yourself stringy!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Authors notes: As with Mother's Pryde, we have reached the end of my cushion. I will be updating this as I get chapters done. As I am the only one writing on this story, they may be slower than the others. Especially considering that Mother's Pryde and Surrey Meets Smallville are coming more easily at the moment. I will finish this and will not abandon it.


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